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During a family dinner, my four-year-old granddaughter Madelyn Anne announced, "I gave up chocolate for Lent."

Later that evening, Madelyn asked if I had any candy. "Yes, I do," I replied. "I have some M&Ms."

Her face lit up in anticipation, but quickly changed to a pout when her older sister Amanda reminded her of her promise.

Madelyn thought for a second, then shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, I'll just have to give up Lent."

—Nancy Whitley
Memphis, Tennessee

My husband Rich was lying on the floor, relaxing, when three-year-old Jennifer climbed on his back and asked for a ride.
"Sorry," Rich said. "I'm out of gas."

Jennifer pretended to fill him up.

"Now my battery is dead," Rich teased.

Immediately, Jennifer installed an imaginary one.

Rich decided he had met his match as he said, "I'm running out of excuses."

"I'll get you more of those, too, Daddy," Jennifer said sweetly. Needless to say, she got her ride.

—Linda Dean
Marion, Iowa

My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mother.

"No, honey, he won't do for bait," his mother said. "He's not an earthworm."

"He's not?" Eddy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"

—Thomas LaMance
Prewitt, New Mexico

My wife Kelly overheard our five-year-old daughter Jordan talking in a corner.

"Who are you talking to?" she asked.

"Myself," Jordan replied. "Mommy, can God hear us when we whisper to ourselves?

"Of course," my wife said. "God hears everything."

"Oh boy," Jordan sighed. "I'm in trouble.'

—Michael Amedick
Lewistown, Pennsylvania

One Sunday during the children's sermon, the pastor asked the children what happens when people go to the hospital. Some said they get a broken arm put in a cast, others said they get their tonsils out, and some said mommies get a baby. But little Andrew got the laughs when he piped up, "It's where you go to get a hippo-suction."

—Glenna Keisler
Huntington, West Virginia

I was preparing for Wednesday night Bible study at the church where I pastor. Thinking while I was walking around, I felt something at my heels. I looked back, and it was my three-year-old daughter Mackenzie.

I said, "Mackenzie, what are you doing?"

She said, "Following you."

"Why are you following me?"

"Dad, don't you know anything?" she said with a downhearted look on her face. "I'm your angel, and I'm supposed to follow you. That's what angels do, you know."

—Dennis Cook
Hart, Michigan

Kelsey, my niece's five-year-old daughter, listened attentively to her Sunday school teacher read the story of the Good Samaritan.

" … They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead." The teacher then continued with the rest of the story.

When Kelsey got home, she needed to clear up one thing. "Mamma, which half of the man was dead—the top half or the bottom half?"

—Donna Garrett
Roanoke, Virginia

My two preschoolers had made numerous trips in and out of the house one summer day, each time leaving the screen door open. Irritated, I closed the door for the umpteenth time and hollered out, "Who was born in a barn?"

From the backyard sand pile, three-year-old Craig yelled, "Jesus."

—Bev Amendt
Fort St. John, British Columbia

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