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Faith doesn't stand around with its hands in its pockets." The prison chaplain's message was strong and clear. "Christians must stand boldly for what they believe, proclaiming the name of their Savior with confidence and assurance."

Yes, I thought, it's time for me to let others hear what God has placed in my heart. I knew it wasn't going to be easy because of deeply-rooted fears that began in childhood. I held on to the verse in 2 Timothy 1:7: "God has not given us the spirit of fear."

I asked the chaplain's clerk if he could arrange for me to sing in the prison church service. His answer surprised me—I could do it Sunday!

I almost backed out, but I thought that if I wasn't ready after three years, I'd never be ready.

	"That laughter has rung in my ears ever since, but today I put it to rest."

I rose early that Sunday, more than a little nervous. On the way to breakfast at the chow hall, I hummed the song I planned to sing. It was the only practice I would get.

As I walked into the chapel area, another clerk asked me if I was going to sing.

My last chance to back out, I thought. But I didn't.

Like every Sunday, people from an outside church came to sing and worship with us. I noticed a woman whom I thought I recognized but couldn't place. She had a bright, genuine smile and blue eyes.

Then I heard, "Now Roy will sing for us."

Haunted by the laughter
I walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone, and said, "The first time I attempted to sing, I was five years old in an orphanage. My father was in prison for selling heroin and my mother was in a hospital after suffering a nervous breakdown.

"A priest had taught me the words to 'When You Wish Upon a Star,' a song from the Disney film Pinocchio. He entered me in an amateur contest held at the orphanage every year. A girl named Dorothy was going to sing with me.

"The auditorium was huge, full of people. I had never sung in front of so many people before. Call it whatever you want, but I couldn't get a word out. Poor little Dorothy was singing alone. People started laughing, and I ran off the stage. I didn't stop running until I reached my bed, but the laughter still rang in my ears.

"That laughter has rung in my ears ever since, but today I put it to rest."

I sang "How Great Thou Art," as I had done so many times alone in my cell to God. The people in the chapel were touched.

Walking back to my pew, I glanced over at the woman who looked familiar. Her eyes were filled with tears.

Joined by a song
Two weeks later the same outside group came back to worship, including the mysterious woman. When she took the microphone, she looked at me. "The last time I was here, I was deeply touched by the song Roy sang because it has a very special meaning for me. I would like to ask him to sing it again," she said, beckoning me to come to the podium.

I made my way up front and stood beside her, still unable to place her.

"You don't remember me, Roy?" she asked.

I shook my head no.

"My name is Dorothy. I'm that little girl you left standing on the stage so many years ago. After you ran off the stage and I was there alone, I couldn't sing the rest of the song without you. Instead, I sang the only other song I knew, 'How Great Thou Art.' Hearing you sing it two weeks ago proves to me that God has a purpose for everything. That's what makes him truly great."

Condensed from Celebrate Life (Nov./Dec. 1998), © 1998 Roy A. Borges. Used by permission.

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