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Megan's eyes filled with tears as she talked about her painful past. I poured each of us a second cup of coffee and listened as the afternoon sun cast golden shadows on my dining room wall. I knew I was witnessing a young woman's struggle to find faith.
Megan was a beautiful, intelligent young woman who taught English literature at a nearby university. However, she'd been emotionally devastated as a youth by parental alcoholism, sexual abuse, and her own addiction to alcohol. Four years ago, she'd achieved sobriety, but Megan was still in emotional pain. She asked me to help with her recovery process, and I was delighted to say yes. Although she wasn't a Christian yet, I sensed she was close.
I knew in part what Megan was going through. I, too, came from a troubled family background and became addicted to alcohol at an early age. At age twenty-nine, God relieved my compulsion and led me to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior. In the succeeding fourteen years, he healed many of my emotional wounds and gave me the chance to work with other addicted people through my church's recovery ministry.
My heart ached for Megan. I knew she, like many wounded people, found it hard to trust others and was taking an emotional risk merely by being honest with me. But I also knew I had some valuable things to share with her—insights I'd received from believers who'd taken the time to talk with me when I was hurting and at the beginning of my faith journey.
Oh Lord, I prayed silently, help me say the right things.
We've all been there. Perhaps we find ourselves with a friend, family member, or even a stranger who is hurting. We sense the opportunity to share our faith but struggle to find the right approach.
Each opportunity we have to tell someone who is hurting about Christ is unique. Since no two situations are alike, there aren't any hard and fast rules to follow—I ask the Lord to guide me each time. However, my involvement in a recovery ministry has taught me some principles to follow in dealing with those who are hurting. Perhaps they'll help you in similar situations.
Reach out with unconditional love. A hurting person may display intense emotions—tears, anger, bitterness, frustration, or sarcasm. We may feel tempted to withdraw from such emotional displays, but we need to draw near to the person who is in pain, just as God helps us when we're in need.
Jan, a legal secretary in her thirties, was a Christian who asked me to help her deal with a difficult family issue—both her parents were addicted to drugs. Our conversations were frequently punctuated by Jan's vocal frustration and anger over her parents' behavior, and her powerlessness to do anything to stop it.
It was important for me to love and encourage her even when she was angry, especially because unconditional love was something Jan had never received in her family. She also needed reassurance of God's faithfulness to see her through this difficult period. During our times together, Jan learned to handle her feelings without outbursts, and over time became a patient witness for Christ to her parents.
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