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Considering all Christian singer Bonnie Keen's been through, you'd expect her to be a bitter, angry woman.
Her first husband's relationship with another woman led to the demise of their 10-year marriage 10 years ago. As a single mom to two young children—Courtney, then six, and Graham, then two—Bonnie endured constant financial struggles and nearly had to move her fractured family in with her parents. When she finally re-entered the dating scene, she narrowly escaped being date-raped by a "nice Christian man."
Just when it appeared things were finally looking up and First Call, the multiple Grammy-nominated and Dove Award-winning Christian singing group she'd been part of for 10 years, was about to sign its biggest recording deal to date, infidelity struck again. This time it was in the form of the highly publicized affair in 1994 between her married groupmate MaraBeth Jordan and Christian solo artist Michael English, also married. The record deal was lost and the Christian music industry turned its back on First Call as everyone tried to figure out how to respond to this unprecedented scandal.
Her livelihood deeply damaged and her personal life in shambles, Bonnie sank into deep depression. Unable to eat, sleep, or stop crying, she ignored thoughts of suicide merely for the sake of her children.
Yet today Bonnie, 45, sits in a trendy pizza joint in a Nashville suburb not far from the home she now shares with her second husband, Brent, looking, oddly enough, happy. In fact, one of the first things you notice about Bonnie—besides her 5'11" stature!—is her effervescent personality. She's released a solo album, Marked for Life (Spring Hill), and a book, Blessed Are the Desperate for They Will Find Hope (Harvest House), to encourage others.
So what happened?
In this exclusive TCW interview, Bonnie tells of the surprising companion she found in her darkest hours, explains why she calls herself an "out-of-the-closet basket case," and reveals her secrets to survival, hope, and joy.
How did you find out that your ex-husband had fallen in love with someone else?Through some of our friends. He'd actually told them he was in love with a woman he'd met at work.
But I have to be honest, things weren't perfect before that discovery. Although outwardly we seemed like the perfect couple, behind the scenes, Daniel and I had awful arguments about everything from finances to our physical relationship. Our endless discussions got us nowhere, so I dragged us into counseling, hoping for healing.
Did counseling help?Our therapist helped us face negative patterns that had existed from the beginning of our marriage. For example, I'm the classic firstborn overachiever. I grew up thinking the wife took care of everything, from the bills to the kids, and I thrived on that role. And Daniel grew up with a mom who divorced three times, so he wanted a stable woman in his life, someone to take care of him. Our personalities fit nicely with each other—but it wasn't a healthy fit.
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