1 of 2
Hey mom, I saw the coolest paint gun on TV!" our son John, then about 11 years old, excitedly said. "That's what I want for Christmas! All the other guys are asking for it, and their parents are probably getting it for them, too. I just have to have one!"
It was two days before Christmas, and I'd already finished my shopping and overspent my budget. I was exhausted by my five kids' endless lists of "have to haves"!
This season of giving too often becomes the season of "gimme." So how can we raise kids to be "givers" instead of "getters"? Here are six quick tips.
1. Recognize that giving's more than a seasonal issue.While the attack of the "gimmes" is most blatant at Christmas, it's what we do during the other 11 months of the year that determines the focus of our holidays. As the season approaches, take note of your family conversations. Observe what issues crop up that encourage materialism or self-gratification. Write down what you do right and what changes you'll make for next year. The best time to plan for next Christmas is this year.
Why not try what I call a "3-star" plan? Here's how it works: First, each family member determines that every day they'll compliment or en courage someone at school, in the office, or in the neighborhood. Second, each family member performs an act of service for someone else each week. Maybe it's doing a sibling's chore or running another person's errand. Third, every month your family does something surprising for somebody else, such as baking a cake for a neighbor, or taking flowers to a friend simply to say you care.
2. Guard against peer pressure.Believe it or not, parents fall prey to a type of peer pressure that says, I have to give my kids what my friends are giving theirs.
No one wants their kids to be disappointed because they aren't getting what their friends get. And no parent wants to feel left out of an adult peer group because she isn't doing the same things her friends are. But remember, you have to do what's right for your kids.
Talk about this pressure with your family, then set realistic expectations for what gifts your children will give and receive. When my five children hit their teen years, we began drawing names so that each child gave a nice gift to only one sibling. This helped limit the number of gifts, reduced expenses, and allowed for a more thoughtful gift for one person.
Above all, when it comes to limiting gift-giving, avoid saying, "We're poor." Material wealth isn't the issue; stewardship and keeping your focus on Jesus are the issues.
3. Plan ahead.Before the season gets into full swing, take time in November to decide to whom you'll give gifts. Set a deadline by which to complete your shopping. Determine to stay out of stores after your cut-off date. It's too easy to think of one more gift for one more person. And especially be alert to media pressure! One family decided to ban giving any gift advertised on TV. Also, block off family times on your calendar now.
 E-mail this page   Print this article  Post a comment |
