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My husband and I often socialize with my best friend and her husband. Lately, however, her spouse has be come overly friendly with me; he leans in close to talk to me, or gives me little hugs when we arrive or leave. I feel as though he's flirting with me! It's making me uncomfortable. Should I broach this topic with my friend—or just downscale our socializing together?
Perhaps your friend's husband is the intense type who likes to lean in close to talk, or he's naturally a "hugger." But you also may be right—he could be subtly flirting with you. Whatever the case, you've got an awkward situation on your hands!
At this point, refrain from telling your friend what's happening, or retreating from your relationship. Talk first to your husband about what you've noticed and how that makes you feel. His male perspective could help you sort out what's going on with your friend's husband's behavior.
Then politely draw boundaries with this man and see if he respects them. The next time he goes to hug you, gently tell him you're not comfortable with that. Tell him you save your hugs for your husband! When you sit down, try to position yourself close to your spouse, with sufficient distance from this man.
If this guy ignores your requests, or your spouse feels he's really flirting, ask your mate to tell your friend's husband you're both uncomfortable with the fact he hasn't respected your requests, and that you'd like him to back off a bit. If you do all these things and this guy persists, he's not safe to be around—and you and your husband will need to talk to your friend.
My youngest sister's engaged, and she let it slip that she and her soon-to-be hubby have been sexually active. She said she doesn't feel it's wrong since they're going to be married soon anyway. I'm disappointed in her, since she's always said she believes in abstinence. How do I respond to her and her fiance?
The key isn't really your disappointment; it's your concern that she's altered God's Word in her way of thinking. God says sex outside of marriage is wrong (1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:3). Your sister's changed that to "sex outside marriage is okay as long as you plan to be married soon." When she twists what God says so she can justify doing what she wants, in essence she's making herself out to be God.
It sounds as though you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your sister. Go ahead, but do it prayerfully. Be careful to speak lovingly to her. Share your sadness and concern, then ask her to think and pray about what she's doing. Help her consider the seriousness of what she's done in her heart and mind, not just with her body.
Your sister will probably be more receptive to what you have to say if you also share her joy over her upcoming marriage (assuming you can do so honestly). Once you've talked to her, step back and keep praying. Your sister's ability to see clearly what's happened—and her willingness to change what she's doing—can only be brought about by the power of God's Spirit.
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