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We asked how you deal with marriage to an unsaved spouse in our November/December 1999 issue—and you offered great insights. Here's what you had to say.
—The Editors
I became a Christian two years after my husband and I were married. I've preached to him, read the Bible to him, begged him to come to church with me, and joined a couple's group in the hope that he'd be attracted to the people in it. Finally I've learned to just live out my faith before him.
But this year, another woman and I started a group called Praying Wives for those married to nonbelievers. We've just finished going through The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian; for our second book, we plan to delve into Elizabeth George's Loving God with All Your Mind. My support group's given me a place to fully express who I am.
Yolanda, Illinois
The day after I accepted Christ, my husband went nuts and called me a "Jesus freak." He told me I'd lived a life of sin and getting baptized as an adult was an inept attempt to "cleanse my soul." I was so angry with him, it easily could have been the end of our marriage. But instead I let him say what he had to say, and replied that time would show him my changing lifestyle.
A woman at my church heard my story and told me the best and only thing I can do is pray, all the while realizing it's his choice to accept Christ, not mine. It took a while for that sink in, but to this day I pray daily for my husband's salvation.
J., Maryland
My husband's a huge sports fan, so last year I gave him a subscription to Sports Spectrum, a Christian-based bimonthly sports magazine, and have since renewed it for a second year. It's a small step but a good one, because it bridges the gap between his favorite thing—sports—and mine—Christianity. My husband points out Christian players to me all the time now.
Peg, Vermont
I've come to accept that things happen on God's timetable, not my own. I find great comfort in knowing there are other Christian women who deal with this situation. I'm praying for God to put
other people in my husband's life who can reach out to him in ways I cannot.
Connie, Florida
My need to seek support in fellowship and prayer prompted me to ferret out anything I could find on the Web regarding being married to a nonbeliever. I discovered
a site for a group called "Won Without a Word," where women in my same situation can post messages daily and interact with each other for encouragement and support. The Web site can be reached at: www.netutah.com/wonwithoutaword.
Melody, Utah
A few years ago, I attended a conference where the speaker spoke on being "unequally yoked." As I listened to her, I discovered I'd married out of disobedience and that I needed to ask God's forgiveness.
As I've grown in my faith, I've also learned it's best not to wait for my husband to give my children spiritual training. I'm responsible—so I try to be faithful in church attendance and home Bible training.
I'm also working on other areas of my marriage so I can be a better wife! When I read a book called Intimate Issues, by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, I learned how to better meet my husband's sexual needs. Now, instead of punishing him for not being the perfect godly husband, I'm trying to make every other area in our marriage fulfilling!
Kimberly, Idaho
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./Today's Christian Woman magazine.
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