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If you could see the scores of women chatting and munching on yummy desserts on Monday nights in Kim Newlen's Richmond, Virginia, family room—wearing funny hats, bidding in a "clutter auction," or mugging in an impromptu fashion show—you'd never believe this gentle southern woman ever was desperately lonely. But seven years ago, when Kim, now 45, left her teaching job to stay home with her then two-year-old daughter, Kali, Kim was home all day every day. And for the first time in her life, she experienced loneliness.
"I asked my husband, Mark, if he thought there was something wrong with me because my best friend was our 72-year-old neighbor across the street," says Kim. "As a Christian, I know God loves me, but I couldn't understand why I had these deep feelings of loneliness."
Kim thought about inviting people over, but the effort involved in entertaining seemed daunting, especially with a toddler at home. "I was raised in South Carolina, where you prepare a five-course meal when you entertain," Kim explains. "In the past, I'd work myself to the bone cooking and cleaning to get ready for company. Right before my guests arrived, I'd wish they weren't coming. I hated feeling that way, and I knew it didn't please God either."
Driven by her need for friendship, Kim decided to scale back on her concept of "entertaining." She dreamed up a monthly gathering for women to munch and mingle that didn't require an RSVP or the need to extend a reciprocal invite. Her proposed get-together would provide women with time for brief spiritual encouragement and the opportunity to learn from each other. But simplicity, she knew, was key to making this work.
Kim looked at her family's schedule and decided the first Monday of each month throughout the school year worked well. She figured it wouldn't take too much work or break her family's budget to make one dessert a month and invite some women over to enjoy it. Kim decided to call this new, no-fuss monthly gathering "Sweet Monday."
Kim whipped up a simple invitation and passed it out to all her neighbors—many of whom she didn't know well. Then she stood in front of her small, growing church that Sunday and invited all the women to attend. While outwardly she was enthusiastic, inside she was a nervous wreck. "The night before my first Sweet Monday gathering, I dreamed I was sitting on my front porch waiting with my dessert ready, and nobody came," Kim admits.
But the next night her dream proved untrue: Thirty women packed into Kim's kitchen and family room to chat and snack their way through the inaugural Sweet Monday. That night Kim couldn't sleep for a whole different reason: She was so jazzed from the buzz of activity in her home, the new friendships she was developing, and the obvious blessing from God.
Seven years of monthly Sweet Mondays later, Kim still has a difficult time falling asleep on the first Monday of the month.
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