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It was day 30 of our 48-day U.S. Marine Band concert tour. As I dragged my suitcase and instrument through the hotel to the tour bus waiting outside, I replayed my last telephone conversation with my husband, Brett. He'd described how our son had taken his first steps yesterday with me five states away! As I stood in the pouring rain, waiting to board the bus that would take us to our next stop, I thought about the performances that remained before I'd get to be with my family again.
Then I noticed a colleague also waiting to board the bus. I smiled and said, "Good morning."
Wet from the rain, he reached to help me with my suitcase and said simply, "Thanks for your smile."
Surprised by his comment, I stared at him. Like me, he must have expected the usual prickly behavior from coworkers this far into a trip.
"It's easy to get depressed when you're away from home this long," he said. "But your smile cheers me."
In the midst of a grueling routine and homesickness, my spirits rose. I grinned the whole morning and was buoyed for days—all because of my colleague's remark.
This isn't the first time another person's en-couraging words have affected me deeply. During college and graduate school, I studied with two private music instructors, both of international reputation. Each used words that produced an entirely different outcome in my life.
My first teacher employed put-downs to communicate. I don't recall one positive statement he said, but I do remember these words ringing in my ears: "You'll never get a job. You have too many technical problems to fix." Every week, I left my lesson in despair, ready to quit.
The other instructor praised my strengths while addressing my weaknesses. In that studio, I regularly heard statements such as, "Your rhythm's excellent in this passage. Now let's develop your tone quality here." Through his eyes, I saw a future for myself as a musician. My progress skyrocketed.
Years later, as I thought of ways to encourage my students, I tried to pinpoint the difference between those two professors. I found it in Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
As a Christian, I want my words to have a positive impact on the people I encounter, people such as me who are trying to build meaningful lives but who often hit the roadblock of discouragement. As I reflect on the kind of words that built me up during college and beyond, I've decided to make them a regular part of my vocabulary. Use them to build up those around you, too.
Words that applaud.Encouraging words remind me of applause: Both are audible and affirming. Yet the ovations I cherish most aren't ones offered by strangers in concert halls; they're compliments from people who know me well. Here are treasures I've stored over the years:
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