1 of 4
My friend Jennifer was an experienced pray-er when she got married, so she figured she and her new husband, Wayne, would have wonderful prayer times together. But to Jennifer's surprise, praying with Wayne felt forced and stilted. While Jennifer poured out her heart to God in private, when she prayed with Wayne, she edited her thoughts and feelings. Wayne, on the other hand, had only said a few prayers aloud in a formal church setting before attempting to pray with his wife. Knowing her skill in prayer, Wayne felt he couldn't measure up to Jennifer's expectations. Soon they prayed together less and less.
Their small-group Bible study proved to be the turning point in their disintegrating prayer life. There, an older couple, John and Margaret, became unintentional prayer mentors to Jennifer and Wayne. John and Margaret prayed aloud conversationally, with hearts wide open to God. Over the weeks, as group members prayed for each other, Jennifer and Wayne gradually felt more comfortable praying aloud as a couple.
My husband, Holmes, and I had our share of frustrations in our early attempts to pray together, too. I was a spontaneous pray-er, wanting to lift a problem to God on the spot. But Holmes liked to mull over the situation, praying later when there were no distractions. He tended to "think" his prayers, while I tended to be long-winded.
Like many men, Holmes had a private prayer life, so being willing to talk out loud to God with me felt risky at first. But as I limited my words, pausing between prayer sentences to make room for silence or for his prayers, Holmes opened up more. And my willingness to wait to pray about something (like after the kids were in bed) instead of demanding instant prayer time took more pressure off Holmes.
As we made our first halting efforts to pray together, we began seeing specific answers to our prayers about Holmes' job, our son's asthma, and our finances. These encouraged us to keep connecting with God and with each other. Over the years, we became more comfortable praying in the car while driving, praying for our children while taking a walk, or praying on the phone if one of us was out of town. And when our kids headed into the rough waters of adolescence, we had lots of extra opportunities to be on our knees together!
The Benefits of Couple PrayerWhy make an effort to pray together when there seem to be so many obstacles? Because praying as a couple holds a storehouse of blessings for your marriage; in fact, it's key to lifelong happiness together. Studies show that simply attending church or being a Christian doesn't divorce-proof your marriage. But couples who regularly pray together report enjoying the most satisfying marriages of all—and the divorce rate plummets.
In our marriage, praying together brought the heart-to-heart connection for which I'd always longed. After only a few years of marriage, Holmes and I had become emotionally disconnected. But Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." With every prayer my husband and I uttered together, Christ became the third strand of a braided cord that brought more spiritual and physical connection into our marriage.
 E-mail this page   Print this article  Post a comment |
