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34 %. That's how many readers of Today's Christian Woman's online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll. While many women wrote in to explain they'd accessed these sites to better understand what was luring their husbands time and again, it was the other e-mails—from Christian women who shared about their own Internet porn addiction—that caught our attention. Apparently online sex addiction isn't just a male problem anymore. Read on for startling statistics about this new phenomenon, personal insights from those who are hooked, information about pioneering ministries reaching out to these addicts, and hope that exists in the face of this disturbing trend.
—the editors
Maggie* had promised herself she would stop. But at the end of another long day filled with work and errands, church and choir practice, carting her daughter to school and helping her with homework, she was beat. After she'd finally gotten her daughter to bed, Maggie fixed herself a cup of peppermint tea and sat down to read her e-mail. She vowed that was all she'd do.
It was a promise she broke less than 15 minutes later.
One of her e-mails was from Bob*, a man she'd met in a chatroom who'd helped ease the loneliness that had followed her divorce. After a sweet greeting, Bob wrote that he'd thought of her when he read a story online, and he included a link to the story. Maggie knew she shouldn't read it; she suspected it was an erotic story that would tap into an addiction she'd been trying to break for several months. But his words were enticing: She'd been on Bob's mind when he read it, and his interest in her made her feel important.
She clicked the link.
The story's heroine was smart, funny, and beautiful, and Maggie felt flattered. The story also aroused her, recalling the delicious intimacy and the physical "high" of sex she missed so much since her divorce. Maggie didn't want to let go of that, so she read another story. Then another. Some of the stories had links to photographs that showed couples gently caressing each other, then becoming more intimate. The high continued as long as she clicked.
As Maggie finished a fifth story, she reached for her teacup and discovered it was ice cold. Startled, she looked at the clock. It was after midnight, and she'd been surfing a porn site for more than three hours.
Disgusted, Maggie turned off her computer and went to bed. The high was gone and she felt lower than when she'd started. Tears flooded her pillow as she begged the God she'd known and loved for years to give her help, direction, and answers. She'd never felt so alone.
Not Just a Man's IssueUnfortunately, Maggie isn't alone. One of the great myths about pornography addiction is that it's only a male problem. Although the church has begun to recognize that pornography addiction is almost an epidemic among Christians, most ministry programs still focus on men as addicts and their wives as victims.
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