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My friends told me I needed a hobby, and I agreed. After all, since the birth of my son, the most taxing thing I did outside the house was put the trash out on Wednesdays. I really needed a break—but what was I interested in doing?
Karen, my athletic friend, suggested I try jogging. I always thought running was best left to horses, but I liked the idea of firming up my postnatal body. After all, have you ever seen a flabby horse? So I went to the mall and bought a pair of running shoes, shorts, tank top, and, of course, the matching sweatbands, in case I actually ran hard enough to break a sweat.
I dropped my baby off at Grandma Dorothy's for a little TLC and met Karen. We circled the park once to loosen up. Then, on the second lap, Karen broke into a gallop. I did my best to keep up with her, but even with the Cleavage-Booster 2000 nursing bra I wore, it was just too painful. I decided to find a hobby that wasn't so bouncy, and someone else got a great deal on running gear at the Salvation Army.
Pam, my sedentary friend, invited me to her ladies sewing circle. Visions of crocheted baby sweaters danced through my head. I stocked up on skeins of yarn in every color in the crayon box and dreamed of turning them into beautiful, one-of-a-kind creations labeled "Handmade by Mom, with Love."
But I had a little problem with the first piece I crocheted. It was supposed to be an afghan, but it looked more like a 40-foot scarf for a hamster. Seeing my tears, my husband stopped me from unraveling it. He said it would make a sturdy tie-down rope for his pickup truck and took it to the garage. But he turned down my offer to attach one of the little labels.
My next invitation came from Julie, my intellectual friend, who asked me to join her book club. My need to engage in stimulating conversation wasn't really being satisfied with phrases like "Don't eat the potting soil!" or "Is my little angel poopie again?" so I thought a setting where I could use my brain might be it.
The first book we read was titled Cowboy Lover. But the thought of a breathless love affair with a sweaty hunk wearing nothing but his hat and boots didn't appeal to me. With a new baby, sleep was my top priority. Then a shower. But in an effort to broaden my horizons, I thought I'd give it a try. I might learn something.
I learned three of the women couldn't outline the plot because all they did was "skip ahead to the good parts." I learned Julie had a wild side I knew nothing about. And I learned 86 pages of Cowboy Lover were all I could stand. I said "howdy" and "see y'all" to that group in the same day.
I was discouraged. Then Anne, my domestically gifted friend, suggested I try one more thing—garage sales. She showed me the matching brass lamps she got for $5 apiece and the $20 sewing machine. Thinking this might be a way for me to get a few extras we couldn't afford otherwise, I made plans to go with Anne on Thursday.
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