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Balancing Act
After a scary bout of burnout and ongoing struggles with self-image, Christian recording artist/author Rebecca St. James is finding peace—and a new definition of godly womanhood.

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Five years ago, when Christian recording artist Rebecca St. James moved into a house in a quaint Nashville suburb, she had no idea she was embarking on one of the darkest seasons of her life—or that the experience would spark the project that's garnered her the most mainstream attention in her 11-year career.

At the time, Rebecca was 22 and already a six-year veteran of the Christian music industry. She had numerous number-one hits and industry and reader's-choice awards to her credit. Despite many years of "adult" responsibility with her music career, rigorous touring schedule, and numerous speaking engagements on her platform of sexual purity, the Australia native still lived at home with her parents and six younger siblings. Surely it was time to move out and claim some of the independence that comes with such a grown-up life.

So in early 2000, following a 13-month tour and a 2-month-long missions trip to Romania, Rebecca settled into her first solo home—and became utterly miserable.

In her 2004 book, SHE: Safe, Healthy, Empowered (Tyndale), Rebecca describes that difficult time:

"I experienced the most horrible time of my life in the quietness of that house. … I grew desperately lonely. I felt disillusioned and unprotected. … Even God seemed distant. I cried regularly and prayed in desperation. I remember lying on the floor calling out to him to show me how to escape that place of darkness and sadness. But I couldn't hear him say anything in return."

The lessons Rebecca learned through that experience inspired her to write SHE with author and nationally syndicated radio talk show host Lynda Hunter Bjorklund. The book follows Rebecca's other successful projects, including her 2002 bestselling book about sexual purity, Wait for Me (Nelson); 19 top-ten singles on the Christian charts; a Grammy; and international sales of her eight albums in the multimillions. SHE's unique take on what it means to be an empowered woman in the 21st century has earned Rebecca media appearances on MSNBC's Scarborough Country, CNN, Fox News Magazine, Hannity & Colmes, and the WB network's The Daily Buzz.

TCW recently caught up with Rebecca, now 27, at a trendy Nashville coffee shop, where she shared her thoughts about community, independence, feminism, and her continued passion for sexual purity.

Why were you so miserable when you moved out on your own? I didn't understand the power of community. I bought into the feminist mentality: I don't need anyone. I'm independent. I can do it all alone. But all that facing the world on my own left me feeling excruciatingly lonely.

Plus, I was burnt out after the long tour and missions trip. And I'm so seldom at home anyway, it's already challenging to maintain deep relationships.

Did you talk to your family or friends about your struggles? I talked to my mom a little bit about it, and when people asked me how I was doing, I replied, "Not very good. I'm really struggling." But I didn't invite their help or support.

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Related Topics
Burnout, Community, Christian, God's Silence, God's Strength, Loneliness, Self-image, Sexual Purity, Women, Empowering

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