1 of 3
I listen as my friend Melissa sings special music for our congregation, her powerful vocals resonating throughout the sanctuary. People smile and nod, obviously moved. Meanwhile, I squirm in my seat, an uncomfortable longing rising in my heart—one that makes me feel shamefully sinful.
I wish I could sing like Melissa.
This would be fine if I simply admired her talent. But I actually covet it for my own, envying her almost to the point of resentment.
It seems I've forgotten I, too, have been gifted with a good singing voice, along with many other God-given talents. Unfortunately, this isn't the only time the green monster of envy has attacked. Another twinge struck when a colleague received a writing award. (Wish it were me.) Yet another hit at the beach as a woman with a toned, tanned body strode past, her head held high, while mine lowered to glance at the dimpled flesh on my out-of-shape thighs.
You could blame it on the media, with its images of perfect faces and lives. You even could blame the world's carnal influence. But envy was around long before high-definition television or People magazine. Left unchecked, it ruins friendships, marriages, even lives. But used as a motivational force, envy has the power to prompt positive change. It's our opportunity to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).
"Envy by definition is sin. It says, 'I want what you have,'" says psychologist Ginger Gabriel, PhD, author of Being a Woman of God. "But it can become a motivator when you say, What do I have to do to get where she is?"
Sometimes we envy things that aren't biblical or healthy for us, or things that we never could attain even with our best effort. In those cases we need to turn to God for correction or comfort. But many times envy can show us things we wouldn't have imagined or thought were possible. "I may not even know I want that or could have that unless I see you doing or having it," Dr. Gabriel says.
Such was the case for Cindy Taylor, 49, a mother of three who envied others' happiness. "It seemed as though God was working in their lives and not mine," Cindy says. "I felt lost and didn't know what I was doing wrong. I kept going to church, but I was sad."
Cindy confessed her envy to God, and he revealed that her sorrow sprang from worry and anxiety. The happiness she longed for only could be found through trust in him. Today Cindy experiences a God-given joy because she traveled the path from envy to positive change. You can too, using the following action steps.
Acknowledge the emotion. We can't hide anything from God, but it's amazing how much we try to withhold from our conscience. It never works for long, because the fruit of these thoughts and emotions eventually emerges. "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it" (James 4:1-2).
 E-mail this page   Print this article  Post a comment |
