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As Bach's Greatest Hits played softly in the background, I stole a glance at my 22-year-old sister, Erika. She and seven other women sat around my dining-room table drinking coffee and eating créme brulee. In the candlelit ambiance, Erika suddenly seemed so grown-up. As host of her bridal shower, I was thrilled to be part of something I knew would have lasting significance. That night, Erika was definitely in for a little bit of blushing, plenty of laughter and encouragement, and an education.
I began hosting unique lingerie showers four years ago. Michelle, the 22-year-old sister-in-law of my friend Amy, was engaged, and Amy wanted to celebrate Michelle's upcoming marriage in a unique way. So she asked me to be part of a personal shower for Michelle that would surround her with "sex wisdom and encouragement." Amy decided my contribution that evening would be giving the "sex devotional"! This genre of devotional definitely wasn't something I'd ever done before. Do seven years of marriage even qualify me as a "sex guru"? I wondered. How open should I be?
Then I reflected on when I was engaged. The wife of the director of our Campus Crusade for Christ college group invited several engaged women, including me, over to her house for a heart-to-heart sex talk. I was so thankful she shared her wedding-night comedy of errors with us; she prepared us to expect a night of fun rather than passionate perfection.
I also thought of the messages young Christian women often receive: Sex is bad. Don't do it or think about it! (Insert a 20-minute ceremony.) Sex is good. Do it! I knew I couldn't remove that confusion in a short "sex devotional," but I could help Laura focus on a healthy, realistic perspective of sex two months before that 20-minute ceremony.
We began at one of Michelle's favorite restaurants. Later, as we ate dessert at one woman's home, I jumped right into my "sex talk." My jitters melted away as I shared some of the best premarital sex advice I'd received. I incorporated quotes from some great Christian sex books and ended with a prayer seeking God's best for Michelle and her new husband's sexual intimacy.
Sharing a few of my misconceptions and learning experiences broke the ice. Each wife offered bits of personal, practical advice while Laura opened her lovely, barely-there gifts. Nothing was off-limits unless it compromised our husband's trust.
As the evening unfolded, we became aware of how unprepared Michelle was for the new life she was about to begin. She'd never been to a gynecologist and wasn't sure why this was important before her wedding. She hadn't heard of a personal lubricant until one woman presented her with a favorite and explained why this product was on the honeymoon priority list. I wondered where she would have heard these things if not here. How many other women had the same unanswered questions before their wedding?
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