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"Half my heart believes in Jesus, but the other half isn't sure he's real." Seven-year-old Becky hugged me. "What am I gonna do, Mom?"
Her honest words grieved my already aching heart. After four years as a youth pastor, my husband had traded ministry for business. He allowed me to worship God freely, but he eventually stopped going to church and started calling himself an agnostic. I knew Becky would notice our spiritual differences someday, but I still felt unprepared for her question.
God, however, wasn't surprised. As we sat on the bed and opened her Bible, Jeremiah 29:13 provided his answer: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
"How do we seek him, Mom?"
I read the previous verse, "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
An idea I'd heard several months earlier came to mind. "Let's make construction paper flowers and write a prayer request on each one. We'll pray every day for the requests. When God answers one, we'll stick the flower on the wall until we have a whole garden of answered prayers. We'll be able to see God in how he answers us."
By the end of that first week, God answered five of Becky's simple requests, including healing her teacher's illness and allowing a friend to visit for a sleepover. At Becky's suggestion, we stuck the flowers to her bedroom ceiling where she could read them day and night. By the end of the month, 20 flowers graced her ceiling garden. One of them read, "Please help me to know you, God."
Becky is 15 years old as I write this story. Her dad, an awesome father by the world's standards, still considers himself agnostic. Becky, on the other hand, steadily grows in her walk with God. So how can we raise kids to love God when Dad doesn't? I hope the following suggestions offer encouragement.
1. Remember, although you may be required to answer questions about God single-handedly, you're not alone.When children ask, "Where is God when I hurt?" or "Why doesn't God make Daddy believe in him?" answers may not always seem as obvious as God's leading in Becky's ceiling garden. However, God promises in James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault." Connect with God immediately through prayer and listen to his gentle promptings in your heart and from his Word.
2. Respond honestly, briefly, and positively to questions about Daddy.Even worse than fielding questions about God is answering questions such as, "Why doesn't Dad go to church?" or "Why was Daddy so mean tonight?" Since you can't honestly answer for him, you might suggest: "Why don't you pray about asking Dad that question."
When an immediate reply is necessary, I pray for guidance and then keep my response honest, brief, and respectful. For example, if Becky asks me about a questionable CD Dad just purchased, I express concern about the issue, while remaining nonjudgmental toward her father.
3. Speak the truth in love.When Becky first learned the health risks of smoking, she immediately related her new knowledge to the next smoker we encountered! A stranger might excuse tactlessness from a child, but Dad can get pretty ticked off when reprimanded by his daughter.
Jesus spoke honestly with compassion. John 1:14 describes him as "full of grace and truth." A wise pastor once said, "Jesus was not so gracious he was not truthful, nor so truthful he was not gracious." Encourage your children to think, What would Jesus say and how would he say it?
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