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I slowed down in front of the green house with the "For Sale" sign freshly planted in its front yard. During the last six weeks, my husband, David, and I had looked at dozens of houses to find a new home. None seemed suitable for our family of five. This particular house looked a bit small for our needs, but I grabbed a flyer to take home to David.
To this day David gives me credit for "finding" our home. We never would have purchased the house, however, without David's quick action. He was on the phone when I got home, so I simply handed him the flyer. He read it quickly, finished his conversation, and immediately called our real estate agent. Given our city's red-hot real-estate market, David wanted to make sure we were the first to bid on the house. Sure enough, it turned out to be just right for us—bigger and better than anything we'd seen so far.
Working together as a team, we bought our first home. But every day in that same house, David and I continue to develop our teamwork in all areas of our marriage. Through the years we've learned being a team extends past a project, platitude, or goal. Our teamwork is tailored to our unique relationship—and keeps changing as the years go by.
What Kind of Team Are You?God calls a man and woman to live together in marriage as one flesh, so teamwork seems a natural by-product. But what does it mean to be a team?
For couples who share similar tastes, gifts, goals, and desires, teamwork can be as smooth as pair's figure skating. However, some couples find their partnership works more like a track-and-field team. They're on the same team, but their lives are individual events. Sometimes a couple's marriage resembles an auto race. The driver is the star of the show, but he or she never would win any races without the crew chief moving quickly at every pit stop.
Think about your interests and personalities. What kind of team best represents your relationship right now? Is it the best fit? What would you like your marriage team to look like?
Remember, your marriage doesn't need to imitate anyone else's. For instance, on a practical level, I assumed David and I would form the same kind of team my parents enjoyed. My mom and dad bonded over the household projects they tackled together every Saturday. Similarly, our friends Paul and Wendy collected river rock, arranged native plants around their hand-built waterfall, and together converted their backyard into a nature retreat.
In contrast, my husband tackles garden projects only when necessary. I've accepted that basic yard work will get done at our house—but it won't be a bonding experience. However, we still can be a team even if we aren't working on a project together.
Develop Your Teamwork StyleDavid and I came into marriage knowing we're fairly compatible. Besides our writing and teaching gifts, we both enjoy children and like to travel. But similarities alone don't produce partnerships.
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