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Everything changed for Tammy Trent on September 11, 2001. As the Twin Towers crumbled, the Christian recording artist, whose stage name combines her and her husband's first names, stood in a morgue in Jamaica to identify Trent's body. The couple was on vacation, and he'd disappeared the day before after going for a solo free dive in the famed Blue Lagoon. An experienced diver, Trent—Tammy's boyfriend since she was 15 and then her husband for 11 years—had drowned in a freak accident. Like the Manhattan skyline, Tammy's life would never be the same.
A few days later, sobbing in her hotel bathroom, Tammy, then 33, cried out to God. "From the stage I'd told people to 'hang on, to trust God in the middle of your circumstances; you're not alone.' But here I was in the middle of my circumstances and I felt so alone," she says. Missing her family and friends who'd been unable to be with her due to air travel restrictions, Tammy held on to the bathroom vanity, barely strong enough to stand, and asked God to send someone. "I wasn't asking for thousands of angels or even a hundred angels, but just one angel who would hold me. And then I sensed the Spirit nudging me to get up and move."
She heard someone in the adjoining room where her father-in-law was staying. He'd been the only one able to make it to the island before flights had been grounded, and he was in Kingston that afternoon taking care of paperwork associated with Trent's death. When Tammy walked to their adjoining doorway, she saw a beautiful Jamaican woman standing there in a housekeeping outfit. "As I stood there wiping my tears away, she said, 'I heard you crying, and I've been trying to get to you. Could I come in and hold you?' I shook my head yes. She wrapped her arms around me and began to pray with me. She didn't know what had happened to me, but as she was praying I thought, Man, I had no idea angels wore housekeeping outfits. At that moment I knew God is very real, that he was right there, and that somehow I'd survive."
After more than a year away from the spotlight, Tammy emerged from her grief to reach out to others grappling with sorrow. In 2003 she started touring with Women of Faith. Her honesty about her loss resonated with thousands of women via these conferences and in her 2004 book Learning to Breath Again (W). In 2006 she released her first album since Trent's death, I See Beautiful.
TCW recently sat down with Tammy at the home she and Trent built to talk about the surprising joy on her latest album, why she chooses hope, and the way Easter reminds her of the promise of eternal life—and that she'll see Trent again in heaven.
Where does the joy on your most recent album come from?
I come from a goofy, crazy family that's always had a deeply rooted faith in God. But my parents divorced when I was seven, so I think early on I grasped how important it is to look for joy in every circumstance. I knew immediately after Trent's death I needed to remember our good times together; those would be my greatest memories. Everyone loved Trent; he was hilarious. We had a fun life together. Following Trent's death, most days I didn't feel happy, but I've always known an inner joy that differs from happiness. I think this record reflects that part of my heart.
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