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Three years ago, nearly all my friends resembled me: twentysomething, never-married, career-minded, childless. Yet, when I moved from my college town of Des Moines, Iowa, to Chicago for my first job, this changed dramatically. Suddenly I was dining out with mothers of toddlers, going to antique fairs with women in their forties, and attending aerobics classes with stay-at-home moms. It was great, but strange.
To be honest, women who wield diaper bags intimidated me. They knew this whole other lingo (nuks and sippy cups) and lived by a completely different schedule (4:00 a.m. feedings!). And I'd just assumed women who were old enough to have birthed me wouldn't want to hang out with me. But I was wrong. And as women of other ages and stages in life got to know me, they revealed similar fears: Would a young single woman find a mom of teens interesting? I would, and I do. When we all got past our fears and reservations, some great friendships developed.
Though people from other walks of life may be less convenient to get to know and even a bit intimidating, I've learned they make wonderful friends. Whether you're in your twenties or forties, married or single, child-free, a mother, or a grandmother, here's why it's worth pursuing friendships with women outside your comfort zone.
They know stuff you don't. One of the first people I got to know at my new job was Jan. She was a single, forty-year-old woman who worked in the office next to mine. I learned she was into gardening, interior design, and Color Me Beautiful. And, more importantly, she was willing to share all this information with me, her twenty-two-year-old coworker.
Within months Jan had me pegged as an "autumn," and told me which colors looked best on me in my slowly expanding work wardrobe. A year later, she helped me move into a new apartment and even stayed around to help arrange the furniture and decorations. As a young woman establishing my career and setting up my first "home," I soaked in every ounce of advice and wisdom.
But probably my most valuable conversations with Jan were about dating. It was great to have a friend who offered both the wisdom of years of dating experience and the current knowledge of what it's like to be single. Just as valuable as Jan's advice was her example. After dating for a couple decades, she was still surviving—in fact, thriving—in a full, active life. On several occasions I simply needed to know this was possible.
They help dispel stereotypes. The evening news, movies, and magazines would have us believe all Generation Xers are whiny slackers who are short on personal hygiene and long on contempt for the world. I've met more than one woman who's bought into this stereotype and expressed surprise when she discovered I'm a normal, functioning human being who falls into this age bracket.
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