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Job. Bills. Laundry. Husband. Kids. Long commute. Church commitments. Whew! With all the obligations we face in any given day, it's no wonder good friends tend to fade into just another name on the Christmas card/birthday list. After all, friendship requires time and attention—things we women unfortunately have little of for maintaining our special relationships. Yet some women—both single and married—have been able to overcome the flurry of life to build rich, deep attachments.
Here are three stories of friends—and what they've learned about staying in touch.
You've Got MailNot only are Amy Heath Bell and Shelli Wright friends, they're also sisters. But most of their friendship has been long distance, both through phone calls and e-mail. Amy, who's 31, is 8 years younger than Shelli. "I was 10 when Shelli left for college," Amy says. "So I don't remember much about growing up with her. I do remember spying on her dates when she was in high school. I'm sure she loved that."
Shelli attended college three hours from their hometown of Durant, Oklahoma, before she moved to Houston to work with the A. D. Players, a touring Christian theatre group.
In the meantime, Amy grew up, went to college to study acting, and after graduation, worked with touring theatre companies until she settled in Chicago.
"Our relationship took a turn towards friendship after I graduated from college," Amy recalls. "I was away from home and so was Shelli. I discovered she was great at listening and giving advice, since she'd already been through a lot of what I was going through. That really bonded us as friends."
To keep their friendship close, they committed to talking on the phone once a week. "We talked for hours! — up to four hours at a time," Amy admits. "The phone company loved us. But thank God for e-mail!" Now they e-mail almost every day, and still talk on the phone. "But now my phone bills are down from $100 to about $40."
What do they talk about for that long? Everything. Since Amy and Shelli were raised in the same household, they have endless hours of "good, juicy background stories to talk about. You know, those weird quirks and crazy brother stories." They swap husband stories, acting tips, and encouragement. "The most fun thing, though," Amy says, "is finding out how alike we are in our faith. She helps me know I'm not alone. Shelli was such a rock, spiritually, when I was growing up. But she's human, and her faults make her more dear as a friend—because I share so many of them!
"But if we want to spend 'friend' time together, we look for the cheap airfares. In the meantime, our commitment to using e-mail has really solidified our relationship. How else can you stay close to a friend so far away?"
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