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One day, I picked up a horoscope magazine at the supermarket on a whim—and what I read in it hit me like a thunderbolt! Its contents seemed to hold the key to why certain things had occurred in my past, and what my future held. The truth it appeared to contain kept me wanting more, so before long I was buying the magazine monthly and following its advice to the letter. My pastor's never preached against horoscopes, I reasoned, so it must be all right. To top it off, it's fun!
I believed in God and attended church with my family. My three sons were baptized, went to vacation Bible school, church camp, and were confirmed. Although Bible reading and teaching weren't emphasized in our church, we considered ourselves a religious family. I thought I was a Christian—but I'd never heard about having a personal relationship with Christ.
As the years went by, however, my husband stopped going to church with us. I became uncomfortable going alone; seeing other couples there left me feeling abandoned. My attendance became sporadic—more often than not, I dropped off my kids at Sunday school and left. When my children were in school fulltime, I went back to work; the demands of my job and my children's activities gave me an excuse to skip church more often. I just wasn't around much anymore, but neither my pastor nor my friends questioned why. Meanwhile, I sensed a growing emptiness within.
Not long after my introduction to horoscopes, I read an article in our newspaper about a local seminar on self-hypnosis. The seminar promised to help women control their weight, quit smoking, and gain self-esteem. The subject fascinated me; it seemed innocent enough. I attended the entire session and discovered self-hypnosis worked! Using the techniques I learned, I began losing weight and becoming more assertive.
Then, when the real estate office where I worked offered a salesmanship program on self-hypnosis, I signed up for the class immediately. Who doesn't want to do better in their career? After the class, my sales production increased. Needless to say, I was impressed.
As an avid reader, I eventually found books in the library on parapsychology. I began reading the works of Edgar Cayce, a "religious seer" who wrote about dreams and ESP . He also wrote about the lost continent of Atlantis, which he said contained a highly advanced civilization that had perfected television, laser rays, atomic energy, and the cybernetic control of human beings. The more I read, the more the void in my life disappeared. I became increasingly involved with the paranormal.
By this time, church had become a responsibility I owed my children as part of my rearing obligations. While I celebrated Jesus' birth at Christmas and rejoiced in his resurrection at Easter, everything else regarding Christianity remained a mystery to me. I continued to pray for my family, but somehow I felt God wasn't interested in my problems. Parapsychology seemed more real.
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