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My fridge front is plastered with pictures of me with four of my closest friends—Karen (my roommate), Julie, Lisa, and Ruth. There's a photo of us crammed on a bench on Chicago's Navy Pier, one of us in flannel PJs the morning after last year's New Year's Eve slumber party, and a shot of us decked out to go to a swanky German restaurant to celebrate Lisa's birthday. These photos bring back fond memories of good times shared with my own little gang.
As women, we know the benefits of friendship: support, free advice, accountability, laugh therapy, prayer, free rides to the airport, last-minute babysitters, shopping companions, lunch buddies, people to balance our weaknesses—and the list goes on. The great thing is, these benefits increase exponentially when you add more than one friend to the picture. When we combine Julie's never-met-a-stranger personality with Karen's sense of fun, Lisa's ability to research any vacation destination or cultural event, Ruth's get-to-the-point philosophy, and my easy sense of humor, we experience all manner of adventure we wouldn't on our own.
We all long for the kind of companionship that allows us to cry on each other's shoulder at 2 A.M., or send each other into a giggle fit with just one sideways glance. But how do you establish those intimate friendships? How do you get a gang? Here are a few lessons I've learned from my relationships with the Fab Five—and other gangs of women friends.
Never Underestimate The Power Of Prayer.I distinctly remember driving down a street in Des Moines before my big move to Chicago, the Windy City, and mentally preparing myself for the lonely days ahead. It's gonna be hard. Brace yourself, I thought. Before I could degenerate into having a full-on pity party, another thought hit me: It doesn't have to be so tough. It's as if God tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me oh-so-gently that he controls the universe, including my relationships. I was humbled and encouraged by his loving reminder, so I poured out my heart: God, please provide some kindred spirits.
His provision first came in the form of Christa and Jan, two wonderful women I met in my office. As we interacted at meetings and staff coffee breaks, we discovered common interests in antiques, quirky romantic movies, Edy's Grand Light French Silk Ice Cream, and earth-toned clothing. Our friendships soon blossomed. God had heard—and answered—my prayers. Lesson learned.
And it was a lesson I needed. Within a year of each other, both Christa and Jan moved out of state. When I felt back at square one with loneliness as a constant companion, I clung to the fact that the God who'd provided these dear friends in the first place hadn't changed. He would provide again according to his plan and time.
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