1 of 2
IT'S NOT EASY being single when the rest of your friends are getting married. But for Heather Floyd Payne of Point of Grace, that was magnified by a public spotlight and the close conditions of living on the road with the three other married members of the group. That all changed April 30, 1999, when Heather married Bryan Payne, a pharmaceutical rep from Nashville. We chatted with Heather to get the scoop on her husband and the best lessons from her 29 years of singleness.
Congratulations on your recent wedding!
Thanks! It was great—but small. Just my family and Bryan's family and a few close friends. We wanted something more intimate.
Where did you meet Bryan?
He taught on Wednesday nights at my church. But the first time we spent time together was when a group of singles from the church were supposed to go ice skating. Bryan and I were the only ones who showed up! He called and asked me out not much later.
What did you first think of him?
After our first date I thanked God because I felt he was "the one." And if it wasn't him, I was just thankful there were still single men out there like him!
Were there ever days, before Bryan, when you felt Mr. Right was never going to come along?
Sure, there were days I wallowed in self-pity, mostly PMS-induced!
But, in the absence of a husband, my relationship with God had become especially important. I'd started to give God more of my time and truly began to enjoy being in his presence. That helped me be content with single life when my friends were getting married and having babies.
How did you handle times of self-pity?
I learned a lot about prayer—and about how to stop putting things off, like buying a car or a house, until I got married some day. I realized I have to be a good steward of my life, time, and money right now.
I also discovered I was a complete person, even without a husband.
How did you start living fully as a single?
I bought a house! It was scary, but wonderful. And I was in it for only a year before I met Bryan. Even though we're now living in another state so he can go to seminary, I'm glad I went through the process of buying the house. It was a growing experience.
What's the best lesson you learned as a single?
That God has specific plans for our singleness. I like to think of it as God not wanting to share me with a husband yet. I got 29 years of just me and God so I could solidify that relationship.
Sometimes singles can spend so much time looking for Mr. Right that they fail to recognize they have the ultimate Mr. Right—Jesus Christ—as their faithful, loving companion.
Will the message of sexual purity you and the rest of the Point of Grace women share change now that you're all married?
In some ways, it's heightened that message. I can say, "I waited 29 years to have sex—with my husband after we were married. It is possible." I encourage moms of young girls to open up the lines of communication about sex and relationships. And I tell our younger fans not everyone is "doing it." Although God will forgive you when you've messed up, we're trying to spare girls from making those mistakes in the first place. That's one of the most important messages we can share.
 E-mail this page   Print this article  Post a comment |
