So you have trouble turning the TV off when it's time to get your homework done. And sometimes you have a hard time keeping your friends' secrets to yourself. Maybe these things don't seem like that big of a deal, but actually they could be symptoms of a deeper problem … a lack of self-control. And that's definitely a big deal. Proverbs 25:28 says that a person who lacks self-control is "like a city whose walls are broken down." During the time this proverb was written, a strong wall surrounding a city was crucial for its survival. The wall protected the city from enemy attacks and invasions. Self-control is like a strong city wall. When we put it into practice, self-control can protect us from the desires and temptations that threaten to invade and take over our lives.

Suffering the Consequences

Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. (2 Samuel 12:9)

The story of David and Bathsheba powerfully demonstrates how a lack of self-control can be devastating. God had chosen David to be the king of Israel. He was a good king because he loved and respected God and desired to serve him with his whole heart. But David still had problems. One night he was walking around on the roof of his palace, and he saw a woman bathing. He should have turned away, but he didn't. He stared long enough to fuel his lust.

So David sent one of his servants to find out who she was. When the servant returned, he told the king that the woman he'd seen was Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, a soldier under David's command. David knew that Uriah was away from home fighting with the rest of the army ,so he sent for Bathsheba. She came to him, and he slept with her. Soon after, David learned she was pregnant with his child.

What a mess! When David found out Bathsheba was pregnant, he tried to cover up their sin by sending for her husband. If Uriah came home from battle and slept with her, who would ever know the baby was David's? But the plan failed. And in the end, David was responsible for having Bathsheba's husband killed.

Now, if David could have foreseen the misery his choices would cause, he most likely would've done things differently. But David wasn't thinking about the possible outcomes. He wasn't thinking about how he was breaking God's commands. He was focused on what his body desired at that moment, and at that particular moment, his desire was stronger than his understanding of what was right.

God forgave David when he cried out to him in sorrowful regret (see Psalm 51), but David experienced the painful consequences of his actions for the rest of his life. If only he had exercised self-control! It would have protected him and many others from a lot of hurt.

What About You?

1. Think about a time you were tempted to do something you knew was wrong. What choice did you make?
   
   
2. If you gave in to temptation, how did you feel afterward? If you didn't give in, how did you feel?
   
   
3. Spend time praying about areas where you have trouble practicing self-control. Ask God to help you develop greater, more consistent self-control in those areas.
   
   

Learn to Say "No"

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age … (Titus 2:11-12)

Understanding God's grace-what's been done for us through Christ-should motivate us to be self-controlled. When we realize that Jesus died for our sins so that we can have eternal life, the only response is to live in thankful devotion to God. That means saying no to sin and striving to live rightly. But his grace doesn't just give us this knowledge, it gives us the power to do it. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead empowers us to say "no" to temptation and "yes" to godly living (see Romans 6).

Of course, we rarely realize all of this at once. It takes time to get to know who God is and how he works. As we grow in our relationship with Christ, we begin to see that saying no to bad stuff is really good for us. It helps us enjoy life to the fullest. It protects us from the heartbreak that can come from following our sinful desires. For example, God's Word tells us to avoid sex outside of marriage. Many people believe this command is ridiculous and that those who follow it are missing out. But in reality those who obey it can avoid a lot pain, such as sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, and emotional hurt.

Even when we begin to grasp the "why" of God's commands, it can still be difficult to obey. It's just hard to practice self-control in a world where we're constantly bombarded with the "just do what feels good" message. And if we're honest with ourselves, we often want our needs met and desires satisfied right now. It can feel like we're fighting a losing battle.

So how can we start to win more battles than we lose? By setting our hearts on those things that are above (Colossians 3:1-2). That means focusing on what is eternal rather than just living for the moment. Think about those times you're tempted to compromise your standards in order to fit in with the cool crowd. Those are the times when you need to look at the bigger picture. High school is four years of your life. It's going to go by so quickly. You can either waste the time, or you can make choices that will impact people for eternity. You can live to please yourself, or you can reach out to others and show them the love of Jesus.

What About You?

1. In what ways are you tempted to live for the moment? How do these things keep you from living for God?
   
   
2. Put temptation into perspective. If you choose to give in now, how long will the enjoyment last? If you say no to it, what are some long-term benefits?
   
   
3. Ask God to help you make choices that have lasting, eternal benefits.
   
   

Look at Jesus

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

Jesus is our ultimate example of self-control. Though tempted in every way possible, he never gave in. Don't think that was easy for him. Hebrews 2:18 says he suffered when he was tempted. He experienced the same struggle with sin we do. That should encourage us. Wouldn't we rather ask for the help of someone who has already been through what we're facing and has come out on the winning side?

So how did Jesus make the right choices all the time? For an answer, turn to Luke 4:1-13, and read about the time he was tempted by the Devil for 40 days. Our first clue is in verse one, which says Jesus was "full of the Holy Spirit." As followers of Christ, we too have the Holy Spirit living within us, giving us the power to say no to temptation. The second thing to notice is how Jesus responded when the Devil tried to get him to turn the rocks into bread-a pretty enticing temptation since he hadn't eaten for 40 days! Jesus' response? He quoted Scripture: "Man does not live on bread alone" (Deuteronomy 8:3). In fact, each time Satan tried tempting him, Jesus responded with Scripture.

We, too, can protect ourselves from the attacks of the enemy by knowing God's Word. If we know the truths of Scripture, we'll be able to recognize lies when they come.

And they will come. As it says in 1 Peter 5:8, the Devil "prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." His goal is to destroy us. But if we resist the Devil, he will "flee" from us (James 4:7). And the more we resist Satan, the easier it becomes. Then before we know it, we've created godly, life-changing habits. This isn't something we can do on our own, of course. We have to look to Jesus again and again. He's been through it all before, and he knows how to get us through it, too.

What About You?

1. What are your weaknesses that make you vulnerable to the enemy's attack?
   
   
2. What steps can you take to strengthen your defenses? Who can you enlist to help you?
   
   
3. Ask God to give you friends who are willing to help you stand strong against temptation.
   
   

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