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Trouble with Authority

You're bound to be tested

It didn't take long to face opposition once I started a career in ministry. Of course, I had a lot of strikes against me from the start. First of all, I was young, fresh out of college, and in my first-ever paid ministry role. On top of that, I was a woman, the only woman serving with the pastoral staff. And, probably most significant, I was hired to launch a brand new ministry–church-wide adult small groups, a ministry most in the church knew nothing about and had no interest in.

After working at the church for a few years, our team decided on a new approach for small groups. I began training new leaders for small groups so that I, then, could serve as their "coach" in the fall instead of leading groups myself. I spent the summer meeting with a group of potential leaders–training them, laying out expectations, and modeling how to lead a small group.

As fall approached, I met with each of the potential leaders to get a feel for whether or not they wanted to lead a group. Most of the meetings over coffee went smoothly–some individuals expressed a desire to move into leadership, while others felt they weren't quite suited for the position. All, though, affirmed their trust in me and were grateful for the time and effort I had put forth that summer. All, that is, except one.

Although she expressed excitement about leading a small group for our church, one woman said she didn't want to follow our church's plan for small groups.It became apparent that she wanted to have complete control over her group and didn't want to answer to anyone, even me, her coach. At first I was shocked. What does she mean she wants to do her own thing? I just spent nearly three months training her! After processing my anger and uncertainty over how to handle the situation, I finally decided to stick to my guns: the only way she could lead a group was if she was willing to follow our church's plan.

Then the bomb fell. "Why should I follow you? I've been in small groups longer than you've been alive." Ouch. It hurt most because it was true. She was at least 30 years my senior, and she did have quite a bit of experience in small groups at a different church. The trouble was that they ran their small groups much differently than ours.

Our interaction left me reeling, and it prompted a lot of questions and doubts. Why should she follow me? Do I really know what I'm doing? Do I have the authority to lead other leaders, even if they're older than me? Faster than I knew possible, I turned from a confident woman, rarely afraid of conflict or confrontation, to a scared girl, afraid to make my case at all.

To make matters worse, even after she was confronted by the church staff as a whole, she went on to start her own group, pulling several people from our new small groups. As her new group met, a few members of the church began to wonder why I was even needed if people could simply start their own groups, which only served to further question my authority and leadership.

In the Gifted for Leadership download When Your Authority Is Challenged, Gordon MacDonald describes conflict as "the energetic search for a better idea…or for personal insight…or for a more effective way of achieving something." Instead of seeing the opportunity to handle this woman's affront to my authority, I allowed the conflict to tear me down personally, leaving me unsure of myself and my position as a leader. And I reaped the bitter fruit for years after.

I've learned that conflict is inevitable while serving in ministry, and opposition to our authority can come from lots of different people for different reasons. While my age was a factor in this interaction, I have also faced challenges to my authority because I am a woman, because I wanted to try something new, and because I didn't give in to every request.

Have you experienced similar challenges to your authority in ministry? If so, how did you handle it?

Amy Jackson is a former small groups ministry leader, a graduate student at Wheaton College, and a freelance writer.

July20, 2011 at 4:55 PM

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