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Leading in the Midst of Woundedness

God sometimes builds our platform–and our purpose–from our pain.

I am not sure the North American church in general does the right thing on Mother's Day or Father's Day. Then again, I don't always attend church on these feel-good holidays because frankly, they don't make me feel so good.

As a 38-year-old woman who married in her mid-30s, my biological clock ticks on and my womb and arms remain empty, at least for now. I focus on seminary, and ministry, and family, and friends, and work, but I haven't given up hope on the fertility front. I am in that awkward in-between place, where I get asked if I want kids while women everywhere suddenly seem to sprout baby bumps.

Ironically, I will preach my first church sermon this year on the day we celebrate moms. Not only will I enter the church doors, but I will be the Mother's Day sermon-giver, the one who helps celebrate the amazing women who give us life. In my personal journey, this is a turning point that can only be accomplished through the God of all comfort, who indeed comforts me in all my troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3). I will be leading from an area of open woundedness. At some point in your leadership story–no matter what it might look like–you will, too.

My heart-wrenching questions have driven me to God's Word for answers about a woman's identity–and my brokenness has led to some transforming discoveries. Our heavenly Father does not glorify marriage and motherhood as the primary goal of every woman. These are noble pursuits, yes, but they don't define us in God's eyes. Instead, each woman is his image-bearer representative in this world (Genesis 1-2); she is appointed as an ezer–the Hebrew word used for Eve that means strong helper, warrior, and rescuer (Genesis 2:18); and finally, she is set free to love God with all her heart and to obey him, no matter what her station in life. How amazing to think my empty arms give me an opportunity to encourage infertile women, singles, empty nesters, and every woman who feels sidelined somehow. Yes, even mothers! These truths make me smile despite the tears and recast my years of infertility in an entirely different light.

Second Corinthians 1:4 says we will comfort those in "any trouble" with the comfort we have already received in "all our troubles," This tells me two things about the wounded leader. First, God's comfort extends to her, no matter her struggle–grief, infertility, loneliness, health, battling addiction, you name it–nothing is beyond God's reach and restoration. And second, it doesn't matter what your trouble is, it's transferable–it exists so you can comfort others in all sorts of trouble. Understanding these truths, I've been asking God exactly how he wants to use my pain as a platform that allows his comfort to overflow.

Remember whose you are

To get there, I've been focusing on whose I am–my identity–and how God wants to redeem my struggle for a greater purpose.

God created me, he bought me with a price, and he prepared good works in advance for me to do (Psalm 139:13; 1 Corinthians 6:20; Ephesians 2:10). We are God's image-bearers in this broken world, giving us a reason to lead. As we do, we cling to the hope that every struggle that tears our hearts in two can, and will be, gloriously redeemed by a good God. If we forget who–and whose–we are while suffering, our leadership morphs into a struggle to make things happen. If we remember our identity, God equips us for every good work.

Share your burdens

It is difficult for me to listen to a leader whose heart has not been formed in the fires of life. Second Corinthians 1 goes on to say that no Jesus-follower suffers, or is comforted, alone. By sharing his burdens, Paul allows the Corinthians to participate in his sufferings and his victories. Those we lead are even being equipped to endure future suffering in their own lives. Might we be short-circuiting this process when we are less than honest as leaders about our heart's struggles?

As I watch my heavenly Father bring purpose through this pain, I am beginning to believe our sources of greatest struggle can become our points of greatest ministry. When that happens, I am thrilled to give credit where credit is due: "This message–and ministry–made possible by the God of all comfort."

What results have come when you have been honest about your struggles while leading?

Suzanne Burden writes marketing and content for Christian publishers and nonprofits (suzanneburden.com) while attending seminary. She lives in Indiana with her husband, David, and blogs about her seminary journey at onewomaninseminary.blogspot.com.

May04, 2011 at 3:09 PM

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