Jump directly to the Content Jump directly to the Content

The Weight of Stress in Ministry

Women are three times as likely to experience depression.

Each person in leadership has a certain amount of stress. Stress can’t be avoided completely. However, when stress is unmanaged, it can lead to serious health problems. The impact on our health may include high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, headaches, muscle tension or pain, chest pain, fatigue, changes in sex drive, stomach upset, and sleep problems.

Not only does it affect us physically, but when stress goes unchecked, it can affect our mental health, too, causing anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, irritability or anger, and sadness or depression. Our behavior can be impacted as well, and we find ourselves overeating or undereating, having angry outbursts, abusing drugs or alcohol, using tobacco, and becoming socially isolated.

Depression is a major mental health issue for women. Catherine Weber, PhD, writes in her article “Women and Depression” from Christian Counseling Today: “Women are three times as likely as men to be impacted by major depression and dysthymia, starting in adolescence and peaking between the ages of 25 and 45, during the childbearing years.” There are many causes of depression, but stress can be a major trigger.

The symptoms of depression range from feeling sad for no particular reason to feeling numb. You feel like your emotional reserves are depleted and your physical energy is low. You may have a lack of interest in things you used to find enjoyable. You feel like isolating yourself from the world. You may overeat or do just the opposite and lose your appetite. You may feel fatigue and just want to curl up in a ball and sleep all day. You may feel anxious, easily irritated, and not able to concentrate.

Seek Help Without Shame

If this list describes you, there is hope. First, you need to find a qualified, licensed Christian therapist to develop a therapy schedule. Your therapist may refer you to a psychiatrist to evaluate your need for an antidepressant medication. But navigating depression involves more than a weekly therapy session and medication. The best results come from a comprehensive approach, which includes exercise and nutrition, rest, strategies for monitoring stress, and therapeutic and spiritual exercises to help you rediscover meaning and purpose for your life.

I write about depression not only from professional experience; it’s very personal for me. I have dysthymia, a mild but long-term form of depression. Dysthymia is chronic and lasts at least two years or longer. About a year after our daughter was born, I found myself feeling sad for no apparent reason. If you were to look at my circumstances, there wasn’t any reason for the overwhelming heaviness I was experiencing. We were doing well financially. Our children were happy and healthy. We were involved in a great church with wonderful friends. We were building our first house, but I wasn’t able to get myself out of the prevailing dark mood I was experiencing. And my feelings felt familiar. I had battled these feelings since I was a child, but now I had three children to care for, and the feelings of sadness were becoming unmanageable.

I knew I needed professional help. So I went to my doctor, and he prescribed an antidepressant. I’m not a proponent of medication for every physical issue or mental health issue, but for me, the antidepressant was a godsend. It made a huge difference in my life. My husband and children noticed a marked difference in my mood and outlook.

Over the years, therapy, as well as managing my medication, has helped me tremendously. Yes, there have been periods when I’ve chosen to reduce my antidepressant, but eventually I go to what I call my “dark place.” I have a physiological imbalance in my brain, so medication is what I’ve chosen to help manage my mental health and stay healthy.

Honestly, I hesitated whether to write about my struggle with dysthymia, but I want to be part of a movement to remove the stigma associated with mental health issues. So many women deal with depression and struggle in shame or in isolation. On the other hand, many of my clients, women I pastor, as well as friends, manage their depression and have fulfilling lives. And thankfully, the church at large is beginning to openly discuss mental health issues as well as provide counseling services by licensed professionals.

Learn from Your Stress

These seven strategies from Catherine Hart Weber will help you not only manage depression but also maintain a healthy lifestyle:

  • Make sure to get adequate sleep and rest.
  • Process your feelings through writing, journaling, painting, or music.
  • Learn effective ways to manage conflict and difficult emotions.
  • Counter negative self-talk with accurate self-talk.
  • Develop healthy friendships.
  • Be aware of early signs of depression and take steps necessary to stay healthy.

Stress can be a positive, valuable learning tool. In Florida, the construction of the houses is different compared to other regions of the country. Homes in Florida are built to withstand hurricanes. Having built our home, I was amazed by the building process. Cinder blocks provide the external framework, while steel rods are placed in the cinder blocks and cemented to provide a structure than can endure hurricane force winds. What most fascinated me, however, is the way the roofs are constructed. Stacks of clay tiles are strategically placed along the roof and left to sit for several days. The purpose of stacking the tiles is so the foundation and framework acclimate to the weight of the heavy clay tiles. Once this process is complete and enough time has passed for the house to handle the extra weight, the clay tiles are laid accordingly and the roof is completed.

I believe the clay tiles are analogous to stress. Just like the foundation of the house needs to be strengthened in order to withstand the weight of the clay tiles, we need a certain amount of stress to help us gain emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. For example, my daughter takes several advanced placement classes in high school. She is learning that if she doesn’t get enough sleep and maintain a reasonable and consistent study routine, she will not adequately meet the homework requirements necessary to pass. The stress of the workload is teaching her the importance of managing her time.

My husband and I often coach church planters, and at one such meeting, the lead pastor of a new church plant was sharing with us the struggles he was experiencing with one of his team members. One of his key leaders decided the emotional and financial stress of church planting was too great and resigned. Understandably, this pastor was devastated.

As we consoled him, we shared with him the importance of learning to carry the weight of the church. Just like the foundation of the house had to be strong enough for the weight of the clay tiles, this pastor had to learn to carry the weight of leadership and manage the stress inherent in it. He had to learn to be comfortable with a certain amount of tension. It is our ability to manage stress that determines whether our emotional, physical, and spiritual foundation will withstand life’s stressors.

Julia Mateer is a writer, speaker, therapist, director of women’s small groups at Bayside Community Church, and author of Life-Giving Leadership. You can connect with Julia on her website. This article is excerpted from Life-Giving Leadership. Pages 129-134. Copyright 2016 by Julia Mateer. Used by permission of Leafwood Publishers, an imprint of Abilene Christian University Press.

May23, 2016 at 8:00 AM

Recent Posts

When Your Calling Is Challenged
As hardships come, you have 1 of 3 options.
What Is Calling?
Defining this “super-spiritual” word
Cultivate Your Calling in Each Stage of Life
Angie Ward discusses cultivating leadership amid ever-changing responsibilities.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
How to know whether to leave or stay in your ministry context.

Follow us

FacebookTwitterRSS

free newsletters: