Relationships

Leading Men at Work

How to lead men in a professional setting: I'll admit I don't have much to say on this topic. It's not because I haven't led men, and it's not because the topic doesn't matter. It's because I don't think a lot needs to be said. When women lead men in their work, gender doesn't have to be an issue.

In general, women with leadership gifts ...

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When a Pastor Becomes a Predator

How would you respond to sexual misconduct at church?

One day more than a decade ago, the senior pastor of my church stopped by my house unannounced. I had just had a baby, so I presumed his visit was pastorally motivated, although I was a little thrown off by his sudden appearance at my door. I invited him in, and we made small talk for a while. My baby began to fuss and it soon became apparent that he needed to nurse. My ...

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Recovering the Blessed Alliance

"It's awkward and uncomfortable - like a three-legged race. I'll have to learn to walk all over again."

I nearly fell out of my chair! Frank managed an uneasy smile. We were drinking coffee with a young friend who, in an unguarded moment, was talking with disturbing pessimism about his impending marriage. Neither Frank nor I thought of marriage as a ...

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Is She Driving You Crazy?

I know about those "work" friendships.

Jan and I started chatting on the phone several years ago when our sons became good friends. Jan is caring and funny, and I enjoy our time together. But she started popping in several times a week. When she came to visit, she clearly expected me to drop everything and play hostess. Even the days she didn't drop by, ...

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Sexual Misconduct at Church

A new study of self-described "active Christian women" shows more than a quarter personally experienced sexually inappropriate behavior, and one fourth of those that experienced it said it happened in a church or ministry setting. The survey, based on answers given last fall by 779 American women to NationalChristianPoll.com, was designed to capture the range ...

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Bold Forgiveness

The last place we expect to get hurt is within the family of God. We assume church people are safe people. But, hurt comes with church leadership. When it happens, the wounds it brings can quickly become a breeding ground for bitterness.

Bitterness can become a gnarly vine that chokes our souls. It poisons our hearts and actions. Scripture says we and others will pay ...

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I Had an Affair

We drove into the Rocky Mountains to a small retreat center. With our hopes high and our hearts still aching, we entered the weekend eager to heal. The days included group meetings where volunteer couples modeled good communication skills, then gave us a topic to discuss. Throughout the weekend Allen and I rehashed recent events, talked about the kids, money, forgiveness, ...

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When Men- and Women-Only IS Okay

Last month I posted a blog about my irritation over a fundraising auction item for "gentlemen" to golf at an all-male golf club. I appreciated all the wonderful, thoughtful responses (even the one saying that said God didn't create men and women "equal." Did men get more of the image of God? Yes, we're different - praise the Lord - but how can ...

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Putting Relationship in Its Place

Last weekend was spent doing one of those uber-stressful things: buying a car. We are a one-car family and tend to drive our cars until they die and our trusty Sebring could no longer be trusted so it was time to replace it. For us, a major purchase like this is almost traumatic. We are very careful and have a purchasing style that might drive others insane.

Like the ...

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Setting Ministry Boundaries

The biggest change Christ made in my life is a desire to serve others rather than myself. Before I became a Christian, it was all about me. Afterward, I was drawn to the weak and hurting and constantly looked for opportunities to minister. I took to heart Jesus' instruction that if I wanted to save my life, I had to lose it. This led me to full-time Christian work and ...

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