Skills

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Comparison Is Stealing Your Joy

Five practical tips to fight back
Comparison Is Stealing Your Joy
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There are so many cautionary tales in the Bible about comparison—beginning with the very beginning. The serpent in the garden suggests to Eve that she compare herself to God. If only she will eat fruit from this one tree, it tells her, she could be like God in her knowledge of good and evil. The stories of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, Saul ...

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Unresolved Relationship Issues

Recognizing, addressing, and helping others deal with transference.
Unresolved Relationship Issues
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We were in the second week of a five-month discipleship program when one of the participants casually said, “I can’t tell you how much you remind me of my mother.” I knew she was not giving me a compliment because moments before, she had shared in great detail how difficult her family of origin was.

As the group continued, it became clear Karen* still followed ...

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Poured Out for the Church

Releasing the desire to be right, even when you’ve been wronged
Poured Out for the Church
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It’s one of those days that becomes etched in your memory―completely against your will. Try as I might to focus on the chubby legs of my two-year-old toddler scurrying around my ankles as we navigated the petting zoo, my mind was racing. My breath felt short and my heart beat erratically.

I felt the need to scratch a nagging itch―an odd sensation―relentlessly screaming ...

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Beat Imposter Syndrome

How to stand firm in who God says you are when you feel like a phony
Beat Imposter Syndrome
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Karie sits in the boardroom around the table with her co-workers. Having just presented the fall vision, her manager asks for feedback from the team. Karie knows what she wants to say, even how to say it. Just as she begins to open her mouth and give her response, however, she hears a voice whisper sternly.


Don’t you dare say anything.

Scanning the room, Karie notices ...

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When You Feel Like a Failure

Whether you've truly failed―or you just feel like a failure―the experience can actually be a blessing.
When You Feel Like a Failure
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“Well, Cara, I’m not really sure what to say, but you failed to do what we hired you to do.” The chairperson folded her hands on her lap, and looked at me blankly. I stared back at her, numb to the world around me.

Glancing at the paper in front of her, she went on to list all of the many ways she believed I had failed at in my first two years of ministry. ...

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Find Your Prophetic Voice

First steps you can take to learn to speak out against injustice
Find Your Prophetic Voice
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A few years ago I had a chance to watch a movie entitled, Blood Done Sign My Name. In this movie, viewers get to know two leaders who are faced with civil unrest during the Civil Rights Era. In one scene a young white pastor is having a discussion with his predecessor over how, or if, the church should get involved in the Civil Rights Movement. His predecessor tells him to ...

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How to Keep Leading When You Feel Like Falling Apart

5 things to do when you face tragedy and turmoil
How to Keep Leading When You Feel Like Falling Apart
Image: iStock

I just can’t do this without her. The defeating thought came without warning and forced its way into my heart. I could barely breathe. We had worked side by side in ministry for years, and now she was gone. I’d lost her—my confidante, prayer partner, and best friend.

We sat on the front row at church before Sunday morning service when she gave me the news: ...

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