I find that readers respond very well to posts that present your personal weaknesses, failings and the gaps in your individual information relatively than those posts the place you come across as figuring out every thing there is to know on a topic. People are attracted to humility and are extra possible to answer it than a post written in a tone of somebody who would possibly harshly reply to their comments.

I applaud her for her strength in this matter and her humility. With God's help and sometime she will be able to make the decision that is best for her and her family. The first reaction of course is anger and the mistrust is overwhelming and present. With time and dedication to her family they will work it out, ONLY GOD know's the outcome. THANKS FOR THE INSIGHTFUL POSTING!

Love your post, Julianna. I agree!

I don't see any good reason for a political wife to hold a joint press conference with her husband in these situations. In this specific context, the message sent isn't just "I forgive/am willing to forgive him" (a good message), but also "I support him continuing this job, and if I do, so should you." Adultery and/or prostitution is recognized as being a violation of the code of conduct for holding political office; it's normal and, I believe, healthy to not help someone retain a position they're in peril of losing because of deliberate professional misconduct. This applies to all professions and all types of misconduct. This doesn't mean the husband is beyond forgiveness, by any means - I'm just suggesting that personal reconciliation isn't and shouldn't be equated with the right to hold office. There's an idea going around that forgiveness = repealing all consequences for one's actions. I'm thinking that idea is...incorrect.

I found Jenny Sanford's absence from her husband's press conference(s) refreshing. I have to think the other wives were largely there for political reasons; how much do they value fidelity? marriage? Jenny Sanford sounds angry. And she should be. If marriage matters, tough love is the strongest, most honorable route to take. Her written statement that she is willing to take him back IF he makes the necessary changes was a well-thought out communication written from a head committed to her children and to marriage "for better or for worse." But her off-the-cuff statement that "his career is not my concern" showed a hurt wife, reeling from betrayal. And a person who values marriage enough to think her husband, no matter who he is, should be faithful to his vows. That she said both is what makes Jenny Sanford so admirable. She cares, she's hurt, but she knows she has to be willing to forgive this man. As much as she would like to punch him out right now.

Reconciliation can only happen with true repentence. It's not up to the wronged party to "make it work," especially when there is no true, deep repentence on the part of the adulterer. If there is, there is a chance. If not, this woman is free and bears no burden for the divorce. To insist that a woman must remain faithful to an unrepentantly and continuously adulterous husband is to make a mockery of the marriage covenant and misses the point of marriage entirely. When one side has broken the covenant, it is BROKEN. Either the covenant ends, or it must be made anew. I have a friend who found out that her husband had a mistress, and when confronted, he refused to give her up. My friend's pastor actually had the gall to tell her that she would be sinning by seeking a divorce. Um, no. That's not biblical. I certainly wouldn't stand up in public with my husband as he half-heartedly confessed only to try to salvage his political career while still being in love with another woman. Uh-uh. No way. Oh, and of COURSE the "other woman" is to blame. She sinned just as much as he did in having a sexual relationship with a married man. Why on earth would she be blame-free and off limits?

I would ask a different question: Should the cheating politician husband ever ask his wife to stand by him at those humiliating press conferences? I think the answer is NO, he should never ask. Maybe the wife would offer anyway, and that's totally up to her, and no one but the spouses knows what goes on in a marriage or whether it's salvageable, but I don't think a cheating husband has any ground to stand on to even impose the question on the spouse.

Paige hit the nail on the head. There can be no true reconciliation if Jenny does not possess his heart. If her husband is indeed still in love with this other woman, all attempts will be superficial. She is on target by saying her sons are her most important focus right now...I am reading between the lines...husband dearest is not the first concern. I doubt she will be standing with & holding hands during a press conference...I don't think she should either.

Merciel thinks the "other woman" is to blame. Let"s not blame the other woman, let's leave her out of it, as we know nothing about her, her situation, what price she's paid, etc. She wasn't part of the question. Regarding the original question, however, I beg to differ. Having been in the situation, I did forgive. It's been almost 14 years and I almost NEVER think about it. There is complete and total trust between my husband and I, so yes, it can happen, although I do think it's rare and it certainly is not easy and it takes alot of work. The year is awful. The 2nd, a bit better, then it's easier. I think it all depends on alot of things: what happened, what caused it to happen, what types of personalities are you, how often it happened, how was your marriage before it happened, how good is your marriage counselor, how badly do you want your marriage to work. Like recovering from the death of a loved one, it gets better with time. My point is, we Americans have become so very, very judgemental and assume that "if I feel like this that everyone else should/must as well" . Maybe that isn't the case. And why is it that the louder they holler "I'm a Christian! I'm a Christian!" the more likely (lately) it seems they are NOT...they are just SAYING they are to get votes? Oh, for the old days when honest poor folks could run for office!

I truly gives these wifes a medal for forgiving their husbands- and they arn't obligated. What counts is - what is God telling them to do - they need to be lead by the Holy Spirit not their flesh. But if they keep commiting adultery over and over - they obviously need to get divorced.