Multitasking: Bad for the Soul
My husband and I had been married for eight years when I gave birth to our first child. Two years later, his brother was born. Eighteen months later, their sister. And less than two years after that, we started the adoption process and soon brought home a daughter.
"You're busy," people would remark, eyeing me with my children. I never knew whether the comment was tinged with pity or admiration.
Yes, I was busy. But, more significantly, I was evolving into a different person. No longer the dreamy, walk-taking, tea-drinking, poem-writing person who baked her own bread, I had become a woman barreling down the aisles at the grocery store, baby in sling, toddlers fastened into cart. After years of toting children on my hip, my forearms had begun to resemble Popeye the Sailor's.
And I wasn't just busy with the kids. Like many "at-home" mothers, I had part-time work and volunteer responsibilities at church and my children's schools. Meanwhile, I was making Herculean efforts to stay close to my husband and friends. I found myself setting up interviews for a newspaper story, ordering curriculum, and making reminder calls from my cell phone in the grocery store—while, of course, keeping the kids in sight, buying food for the week, and stopping to compare the prices of varieties of pears.
In short, I learned to multitask.
In recent years, of course, we've learned that it is actually impossible to multitask. Study after study after study chide us for believing we can make our brains do more than one thing at a time. "A core limitation [of the human brain] is an inability to concentrate on two things at once," says René Marois, a neuroscientist at Vanderbilt University. When we are multitasking, we are actually just switching from one task to another at astonishing speed. It's unproductive, distracting, and dangerous to multitask, we are told.
But over the years, I became something of a multitasking expert. And I began to suffer from it. I answered e-mail from my phone while waiting for a freight train to pass. Before picking the kids up from school, I'd troll around the neighborhood, choosing a parking space based on whether I could find a Wi-Fi signal in order to get an additional few minutes of work done.
I felt, to use the old expression, that I was drinking from a fire hose. Equally compelled to answer unimportant messages ("Thanks for letting us use your car-top carrier. We left it on your front porch") as more critical ones ("Can you remind me where I'm supposed to be for the photo shoot this afternoon?"), I was losing perspective. I was also finding it hard to hear God, what with all the text and e-mail alerts on my phone, the call waiting signal, and my kids' voices creating a low roar.
The Seminary Gender Gap
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Thanks for this post, I am a big fan of this website would for example to go on updated.
Walter
Id should talk with you here. Which is absolutely not something I in most cases do! I spend time reading an article that should learn people to believe. Also, appreciate your permitting me to comment!
Maria
Having arrived at this point in my life, I do not want to be successful at anything. As much as I miss the affirmation and excitement of the workplace, as much as I struggle with wanting to have close to picture-perfect children, as much as I fault myself for not exercising enough, not being effective enough, and on and on and on...I tell myself at this point, if not now, when will I stop long enough for God to have my full attention. If I am not totally devoted to God, I am not totally anything or anyone. I used to ask the question, "Who makes the rules?" Now it doesn't matter because the choice for me should be "Live God's way" and the only way to find that way is to be with and in God consciously and all the time. Be present.
Angela
I just told my mom and sister today that I am praying but feel I am not getting an answer about something I need to make an important decision on. Maybe it was meant to be that I read this article because maybe I am not listening while I am always so busy!
Amanda
I think it's a nice idea and I see your point, but HOW do you single-task and still get it done? I know parents who do it, but they're called "dads" and when you come home, they may have fed the kids and changed diapers, but the laundry isn't done, the house isn't clean, and the meal isn't cooked! ;)
Jolie
When we place the Lord first, He helps us with our priorities. Isn't multitasking just another way that we dismiss God and act as though we can do it all without Him. I have noticed that when we multitask most often is when others will see us doing it. It really does not help us accomplish more; it satisfies the pride that says look at me, I can do it all and better than you. Where is the humility in that?
Sharlene H. McClendon
I so needed this article. I too am the mother of four girls,I also attend school full-time on line, work and try and squeeze my husband in the mix on most days. Often times I feel as though I am not doing enough to move my life to the next level. I find myself feeling left out of my life as a woman before children and husband, but I guess it all boils down to being content in the life I have chosen and understanding that life comes with many levels and enjoying each level is the key to enjoying, loving and accepting the woman in the mirror, ME! Sharlene H. McClendon
Doreen Ashley
I am sharing this post with as many people as I can. Multitasking is one of the worst ailments of our society. It dries up our energy, our emotions, and our ability to discern and to place things in perspective. Multitasking treats all tasks as of equal importance and creates a false urgency about even the most meaningless matters. First Thessalonians 4:11-12 tells us to make it our goal to live a quiet life so that those who don't know Christ will respect the way we live. How bright the contrast between a Christian living simply and quietly, in peace and contentment to the harsh, hurried and harried pace of the world!
Steph
Really great blog post, thank you. Back in college I used to practice fasting, but not just from food. I would fast from music in the car or during studying for a day every week. I was constantly driving around as a commuter student so this was a big deal to me. I can tell you I prayed for anyone and everyone and saw answers to prayer. God showed me some specific things during those times, things that might seem silly or insignificant to others, but for me, they were miracles. Every so often I try to get back to that routine, but I admit it's not as often as it should be. I think as women, we should give ourselves permission to sit and do nothing, if even for 10 minutes, and reflect on the blessings God has given us and listen. This is not idle time, it's a spiritual discipline. Don't feel guilty, moms!
Robyn Widmer
Since I have had children, one of the things I try to do every day is give each one of them half an hour of my undivided attention. We do whatever that child wants to do (at home). I don't answer the phone, check my email, or do other chores. Just me and him/her for 30 minutes. It involves listening and responding to them, deeply listening to them so that they know that I hear who they each are as a person. I just realized that what I really need to do is start practicing this same thing with God. Yikes. It's so difficult to live in the present, but I just want to BE present for every moment. I don't want to wake up in 50 years and realize that my life was a blur. I want to soak it in.
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