Christ and My Curly Hair
This spring, a friend asked me to accompany her to Africa to document the labors of a nonprofit working in microfinance. She told me we'd be traveling to a number of remote villages to complete our assignment.
Instead of a dewy-eyed, "I'll go wherever God sends me," or even the sturdy old-stall tactic, "Let me pray about it," my first thought was, How will I blow dry my hair?
My vain response forced a long, hard look in the mirror, and not just so I could prep for another day of battle with wiry, frizzy hair. I'd sat through decades of sermons and Bible studies telling me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made, urging me to love myself because God loved me. All this self-acceptance talk may as well have been spoken to me in Portuguese. A demanding little idol called the Straight Hair god had rendered the message unintelligible.
As a young girl, I learned about the Straight Hair god from shampoo commercials and TV, and my "Ellis Island" hair wasn't it. My natural `do makes me look a lot like the people pictured in those grainy pictures of Eastern European immigrants who crossed the Atlantic in steerage class at the turn of the century, probably because I am related to a handful of them.
I tried appeasing the Straight Hair god with a daily offering: blow-drying it into an immovable hair helmet that resembled a pile of scouring pads. Heaven forbid the humidity crept above 65 percent.
Except for a brief stint going natural in the mid-70s, and the big hair era of the 1980s, my type 3C curly hair and I have appeased this god with a daily offering of blow-drying for 40 years. I did the math: 10 minutes with the blow dryer every morning works out to over 100 24-hour days spent with a blow dryer and a round brush in my hand. I have given more than three months of my limited time on earth to blow-drying my hair.
Author Anne Lamott has written about her long war with her wiry hair: "[I'd devoted] most of my prayer life to the desperate hope that there not be any weather. Also, that no one trick me into getting into a convertible and then suddenly insist on taking the top down …. The only alternative is that you wear a hat, but then when you take it off you have terrible hat-hair, where it looks like a cartoon mouse has been driving a steamroller around your head all day. And you obviously can't wear a scarf or you end up looking like your aunt Bev."
Though many women exercise the "Wanting the Kind You Don't Have" rule when it comes to hair, many curly girls live with a certain level of insecurity because the prevailing standard of beauty in our culture is flat-ironed. There are a few high-powered women with curly hair who are trying to battle the notion that their untamed tresses diminish their workplace credibility or makes them less desirable. As curly-haired Megan McArdle, senior editor for The Atlantic, recently noted in "Can A Professional Woman Go Curly?", "For better or worse, smooth straight hair has become synonymous with 'professional' in America. Show up with curly hair, and you might as well show up with waist-length beads and an incense burner."
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smochedeentee
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SAMANTHA COPPEDGE
I have to admit, I was a bit surprised when I came across this article, but I knew I had to read it. While I'm barely an adult (I just turned 18) I've struggled with curly hair for a long time. It seems like an odd thing to struggle with, but everywhere I go the "pretty girls" have straight hair and to mean being pretty went hand in hand with straight hair. However, I tried my hardest to defy that. Very rarely do I straighten my hair, I can count the times I do in a year on 1 hand. I've always told myself that having curly hair is how God intended, and when I get compliments for my hair I know I'm doing the right thing. I shouldn't have to straighten my hair to be labeled "pretty" or to be "professional", I can do both of those things with curly hair. This is why I've never gotten my hair professionally straighten: God intended for me to have curly hair. I am very thankful to see this article though, for very rarely are these thoughts (my very own, even!) published for the world to see, so thank you.
Ashley
This article strikes a chord with me because I'm a young (23) AA woman who has natural hair (and which is tightly curled). I wasn't always this way, I was forced to relax my hair at a young age and really bought into the lie that this is what would 'fix' my hair, or make me beautiful. But at the tender age of 14 I began to question these lies society was feeding me, why couldn't I be considered beautiful with the hair God gave me, the hair I was born with? So, I gave up the addiction to relaxers and went natural (which was a pretty bold move during my teenage years), and I definitely had my share of struggles. But, through the teasing, and the negative comments I managed to stay strong and not go back to relaxing my hair. I even stopped putting heat in it, and would let it air dry. Interestingly enough, now I get the most wonderful compliments walking down the street. I get told how striking my hair is, how soft it is. But, I'm so thankful that I found that peace and self-confidence at such a young age despite all of the negativity. It was truly a blessing and I have never felt more beautiful than I have accepting and relishing in the things I was born with. Now my niece is natural too(she happens to be 14), and is feeling lovely because she's not allowing herself to be influenced by negative body image standards imposed by a handful of people. And I'm happy she can talk to me about bad days, and I can share the struggle I've had and give her insight and words of wisdom. We have to be the vehicles of change. My niece, my twin sister and my mom are all natural now because of a decision I made a decade ago and having confidence to go against these lies. It's about loving yourself, and appreciating who God made you. If you want to change you look, by all means change it but do not do so with the audacity to challenge and denounce the beauty God has granted you (because if we are all in His image, who are we to hate ourselves?)
Bethany
I have curly hair, and have pretty much always embraced it. Sure, I have my struggles with it, but I've always thought there's nothing special about straight hair (sorry ladies), so why change a good thing? The only thing is that has nagged me was the idea that curly is not polished or professional. I try to dismiss it, but then your article confirmed to me that the perception is real! I have been "under consideration" at a company for 2 months now, and this has me wondering if wearing my hair curly to the interview negatively impacted my chances! It seems too crazy to be true... Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.
Alisha Anderson
Hi, I am Alisha Anderson. I have found your site not so long ago, but try to read every new article as i see your site as one of those interesting places online (its not such an usual case nowadays). This week i had an interesting discussion about (http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2011/08/christ_and_my_curly_hair.html) with my colleagues and im going to write about it. Your site looks a perfect place for an article on this topic. So if you would like that, it would be great if you could post it on your site. And thats absolutely free of cause. Let me know here anderson.alisha8@gmail.com if you are interested. Regards Alisha Anderson
Tishia Lee
Loooove this post! It takes me 45 minutes to blow dry my natural curly hair, straighten it to 'perfection' and then step outside only to have the littlest humidity start wreaking havoc on the straightness & sending it back into curl mode. For as long as I can remember I've hated my curls! When I wear my hair curly people tell me it makes me look like a little girl (at 36 I don't know how it's possible to look like a 'little girl' but whatever lol). The point of all my above rambling is thank you for sharing this! I'm ready to embrace my curls and be set free of the nasty straight hair god! I'm calling and making an appointment for this week with a hair dresser so I can be taught how to work with these curls! :-)
LaughingMouse
this "how will I take care of my hair???" question is what keeps me from camping. I have beautiful, very dark brown 3B/C curly hair. I will say humidity doesn't bother mine. The key, ladies are you listening here!!!! THE KEY is taking good care of it. Get the SLS (sodium laurel sulfate etc) out of your shampoos and conditioners and finding good products that keep it handled! I got the SLS out a few years back and my hair has never looked better. I still don't camp because I can only go one day without washing, but if I grow it out I could do a pony tail and get an additional day perhaps. ;) Vivre la Curlie!!!
Dramaqueen
I'm an African-American woman in her 40's with curly hair. I relate to this article too! You see I relaxed my hair since I was 15 years old and stopped just this past February when my hair was so broken off (it was just 1")I had to stop relaxing it. It's been 7 months now and my hair is about 3" long and no more relaxers for me. I even air dry it now.
Doreen Ashley
My husband says I should be able to share the gospel as easily as I share my favorite book, Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey, with every curly girl I see in public!
Edith Higgs
Speaking of hair-we had to get perms every year because of straight hair and finally gave up and used what I had. At age 40, while at a retreat in Ocean Grove, NJ, I answered a deeper call from the Lord. Went to the altar and then to the ocean side and met Him there, laid all my troubles at His feet. When I returned home, the lady who cut my hair said she thought I had gotten it bleached since it was a different color. I assured her I had done nothing and in two weeks it was pure white from dark brown. I love it! It is a great way to give a testimony when folks ask about my pure whte hair.Also, those whom I knew years ago always recognize me because of it. God is so awesome!!Edith
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