A New Mission for the Burnt-Out Mom
In a recent "Stuff Christian Culture Likes" post at Beliefnet, humorist Stephanie Drury poked fun at signs—positioned so that they can be read only when people are leaving a church building or parking lot—that read, "You Are Now Entering the Mission Field." They remind churchgoers to share God's love with the people they encounter "out in the world." In the act of leaving the property, Christians are being sent out, as it were, on a mission.
When I was growing up, the word mission was used exclusively for those self-sacrificing believers who packed their bags and moved to a hot and sometimes unpronounceable locale. (Remember trying to read the words "Irian Jaya" as a kid?) Missionaries sent annual prayer letters to supporters, cards which pictured large "quivers" of children whose names were taken from the Old Testament, never shortened into nicknames and often began with the same letter of the alphabet. "Christmas Greetings from Daniel and Esther … and Jacob, Jonathan, Jesse, Judith and Jemima—on the Mission Field in Konang!"
But times have changed. Now instead of being "called to the mission field," all Christians are urged to "live missionally." But what, for the love of Jacob, Jonathan, and Judith, does that mean? In a climate in which we throw around terms such as emergent, organic, and Church 2.0 with such frequency that they lose whatever meaning they might have begun with, is missional another trendy, soon-to-be ignored modifier?
Not if Helen Lee can help it. Lee is a journalist, home-schooling mom and is author of The Missional Mom: Living with Purpose at Home and in the World. Since her book's publication, Lee has engaged others in the work of nailing down what "missional" really means. In a recent interview with author and New Testament scholar Scot McKnight, posted on her website, Lee asked McKnight what "this new buzzword" means and whether its "popularity [is] matched by its practice."
"Being missional comes down to answering a simple question: 'How can I help you?' " McKnight said. "Pastors are using the word, but I don't know that they understand it. Defining the word has become a game. In missional churches, people's ears are open, their eyes are open, and they are asking, 'What does our community need?' A pastor friend of mine wrote to the local police department and asked, 'What are the biggest problems you deal with in this community?' The police said, 'Drugs and alcohol.' … if that's the answer your church hears, what are you going to do about it?"
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Ilona Hadinger
I found this article very interesting, along with the comments below it. I am a missionary serving in Latin America and have been addressing issues faced by moms on the mission field, such as finding our identity: mom or a missionary? Is it right for us to sacrifice our kids on the altar of "ministry" because that is what both our supporting churches and the national church expect of us? Many have done that in the past...and regret it. We've "saved the world", but "lost our kids". For us, the pendulum swings far to the other side from where this post does. Definitely a thought provoking read. Thanks.
Caryn Rivadeneira
"Motherhood is critically important, but even the role of being a mother cannot come before our commitment to God and the particular mission he has designed for each and every one of us, Lee said. Amen and amen. I've wondered why churches are so often okay with promoting motherhood above following Jesus. I love being a mom and love my kids but I just feel so uncomfortable when I hear messages that make it seem like motherhood should come before all else.
Laura Droege
Krissi- I think I understand what you're saying. Being "missional" should be normal for a Christian; we should be engaged in the culture (ie, influencing it) and be willing to serve within the church body as well. However, a lot of people seem to think that "normal service in the life of a believer" means working ONLY within the boundaries of the church setting (think teaching Sunday school or visiting shut-ins or serving as a deacon/elder). Personally, I think the term "missional" is meant to convey that we need to broaden our outlook on what it means to "serve God." Does this mean working within the church (if one is called to do so?) (I mean things like teaching Sunday school, etc.) Or does it also mean working outside of "churchy" places, working within the arts, social justice areas, etc.? I think it does.
Krissi
I have read Helen's book & enjoyed the challenge behind it. I hope I can say what I want to say properly (I have been known to throw a thought out that was very poorly worded & even less understood)...What everyone is terming "missional" is what I consider "normal service in the life of a believer". So-what am I not getting?
Suzy
Balance is important, too. We can go the other way and spend too much time ministering in the church and community, while our kids are not getting the time they need. I actually see more of that in the church than the other way around. Good post, though, to remind us that everyone we meet and all situations are part of the mission field, not just the ones in far off lands!
Tracey Bianchi
Helen, your work is so encouraging! God gives us time to be used in such diverse ways. Women are so often told that the only thing that matters is getting that Mrs. and the kids. But the years spent chasing small children is just a small fraction of the bigger picture of our lives. Of the talent, gifts and abilities he gives us. He grows us up and puts passions in our hearts. And sure, we can live out some of those at home but we do such an injustice to God and to this world when we take all the gifts we have and sequester them at home. So blessed to know that your words are out there encouraging us all on to think bigger and focus outward. THanks Helen and Jen!
Helen Lee
Laura, as a fellow mom-writer, I can unequivocally tell you that when I have taken time to use the gifts and abilities God has given me to serve him through my writing, I have experienced so much peace and fulfillment. It has absolutely helped bring sanity to the stresses of motherhood--I love my kids, but God has designed me to be a presence in the world and when I concurrently live out that calling, my kids learn that they are not the center of my world, nor should they be. Your kids are learning valuable lessons about how we are all God's ambassadors and missionaries, in whatever way he calls, first and foremost--both in our homes and in the world around us. Thanks for posting!
Helen Lee
Laura, as a fellow mom-writer, I can unequivocally tell you that when I have taken time to use the gifts and abilities God has given me to serve him through my writing, I have experienced so much peace and fulfillment. It has absolutely helped bring sanity to the stresses of motherhood--I love my kids, but God has designed me to be a presence in the world and when I concurrently live out that calling, my kids learn that they are not the center of my world, nor should they be. Your kids are learning valuable lessons about how we are all God's ambassadors and missionaries, in whatever way he calls, first and foremost--both in our homes and in the world around us. Thanks for posting!
Laura Droege
Thank you! I've often felt that moms lose sight of the bigger picture (existing for God's glory, not our own) because we're too focused on our children. That's where we tend to find our identity, unfortunately. Recently, I told my daughters that I'm a better mom when I write. My writing (which focuses on giving hope in the midst of pain) is directed at both those "inside" and "outside" the church (both of which are mission fields!), and I believe that if I didn't have my writing to connect me with those who need hope, I would be just another burnt-out, stressed-out mom, living aimlessly and unintentionally. And that would be a huge waste of my life!
Helen Lee
Is that all I'm here for? NO. Or will I fulfill even my role as a mom much better if my kids see me investing more heavily in the world, in a nursing home, in homeless shelter, or what have you? YES. I firmly believe that we moms have been misdirected if we believe the entirety of our lives is to be focused inwardly, at our homes and families, to the exclusion of God's mission for each and every one of us. Motherhood is critically important, but it is a secondary calling that must be viewed in the larger context of God's intent for us to love him, love others, be his witnesses, and make disciples. When children see their parents in a missional way, it makes a huge impact in their lives. And I do believe part of what our purpose is as parents is for our children to see the larger picture for why we exist on this earth. Not for our own purposes or glory, but for God's. I think it is so fulfilling when our kids see that in us, then embrace that truth in their own lives.
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