It was an opportunity I had dreamed of my entire teenage life. I would stand on a football field, albeit with hundreds of other teenagers, and sing on national television alongside Reba McEntire. Any aspiring singer would jump at the opportunity, especially if she admired Reba like I did.

My dad, however, was not enthusiastic. The event fell on Thanksgiving Day, designated as a special time for our family to enjoy the day together and celebrate traditions. I didn't appreciate the importance of it, especially since it was squashing my chance of getting "discovered." Now that I'm an adult, I understand what my dad was trying to instill in me. He was willing to go against the ambient culture in order to maintain family time.

The Los Angeles Times recently reported on the decline of "the family hour," a traditional set of TV programming made to appeal to the whole family. What was once a coveted and heavily marketed hour is now becoming increasingly mainstream and adult in its broadcasting. As the article states, network heads simply do not feel the need to cater to the once-popular "family hour," because today's families don't really watch shows together. Instead, most family members use personal computers or smartphones to catch up on their favorite shows; the average U.S. household has about 20 digital devices. It's probable that on any given night, a family of five can watch five separate shows in different rooms of the house, or even in the same room, never once having to look up from their individual screens.

The LA Times article focused on the entertainment shift, but that shift points to a larger problem: the loss of family togetherness. That families don't do the most basic activities together, even an activity as mundane as watching TV, points to a larger dearth in familial interaction. This is to our collective detriment. Studies show that families that share regular meals together thrive. A 2006 Time article emphasized that the more a family eats together, the less likely their adolescent children are to behave in ways that are characteristic of their age group (i.e., smoke, do drugs, behave promiscuously, battle depression or eating disorders). Such students also seem to perform better in school, care more about reading, and generally grow into civilized members of society. But they are an anomaly. If families aren't hurriedly grabbing a meal from McDonald's on their way to another extracurricular activity, they are microwaving a frozen dinner and eating while doing other things. It's rare for a family to cook a meal and sit down at the same table at the same time. We are just so busy. And if we aren't busy, our iPhone or computer is enough to keep us company for the night.

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The loss of family togetherness also must take into account the changing family dynamic in many homes. There are single-parent homes where the lone adult (usually the mom) struggles to maintain and provide for a whole family. The Census Bureau reported that the number of children younger than 18 living in two-parent homes is only about 67 percent. From joint custody to overworked single or divorced parents, the once common nuclear family that eats around the dinner table and spends the rest of the evening together is becoming rare.

Will we Christians who have families follow the cultural drift? I believe we can provide a counter voice to the individualistic mindset that permeates our families. While we can never be perfect in our approach, we do have a guide to show us a better way.

Scripture attests that God instituted the family as one model of not only his triune nature but also his relationship with the church (Gen. 1:26-31; Eph. 5:22-33, 6:1-4). When we lose family togetherness, we lose a valuable and crucial picture that cannot be recreated elsewhere.

The loss of family togetherness is a symptom of a culture that is increasingly embracing individualism over community. But we Christians know we were not made as "individuals" but as persons in community. Separation from the God-designed community of the family creates an environment that is not healthy or productive for us. It has implications for how we relate to others, the church, and God himself. While it might seem noble and cool to live outside the confines of a family, countless studies have shown that families where a father is absent, due to reasons other than death, face greater dysfunction and turmoil. God knew what he was doing when he made Adam and Eve and told them to "be fruitful and multiply."

Churches must be the greatest example of modeling godly families that value each other and value time together. And for some churches, that will mean having fewer ministry-related meetings and youth-group outings in the evenings, and ensuring that pastoral staff aren't letting parishioners become their "first family." In a culture that increasingly values the individual over the community, Christians can set the standard by investing in their own families and ultimately the ones in their sphere of influence. We can set the tone by refusing to overcommit our children, which limits family time. We can place importance on regular shared meals and activities. And we can include our neighbors and friends in our lives.

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Nearly 15 years ago, my dad kept me home on Thanksgiving Day. That memory still sticks with me, and not because I'm now a writer and teacher rather than a famous singer. It sticks with me because my dad understood something crucial about our family and the benefit togetherness would have in our lives. To lose that is to lose something irreplaceable.

Courtney Reissig is a pastor's wife and freelance writer/blogger. She has written for the Gospel Coalition's book review site, the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, and the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. She blogs regularly at In View of God's Mercy.

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