The Cynicism Trap: Why Trusting Fellow Christians Is a Spiritual Discipline
Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. And suspicion?
The fruits of the Spirit included on this list should look pretty familiar to anyone who has spent time in a church. So should the final item—even though it's certainly not a fruit of the Spirit.
It doesn't take a new Christian long to discover that the church is full of damaged people, healthy wheat and toxic tares growing side by side. If a church leader is of the toxic tare variety, those affected by the leader's poisonous words or deeds have to find a way to reconcile the sinless life of the Christ they follow with the hurt and confusion they've experienced as members of his body. To move forward, many of us re-brand our innocence as naÏvetfamp;copy; and our newly minted sense of suspicion as wisdom.
But I believe that as our suspicion grows, our ability to trust God, and others, gets lost in the translation.
Gabe Lyons and David Kinnaman's oft-cited 2007 book, UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity … and Why It Matters, pointed to the cumulative cultural effect that broken Christian leaders and followers alike have on a watching world: "Outsiders most common reaction to the faith: Christians no longer represent what Jesus had in mind, that Christianity in our society is not what it is meant to be. Every Christ follower bears some degree of responsibility for the image problem; it is not helpful to assign blame to those who have made mistakes." Those outside the church are damaged by our shared spiritual blunders, but so are Christians, who live the paradox of being both perpetrators and victims of our own mistakes.
Lyons and Kinnaman emphasized that assigning blame is counterproductive when it comes to addressing the church's image problem, but there is a flipside to their contention. Those who stumble while representing or leading us from the platform inject visible new reasons for creating a culture of suspicion in and about the church. Progressive theologian Tony Jones reflected on the recent story of former-evangelical-turned-gay-activist Azaraiah Southworth "outing" Southern Baptist author and speaker Jonathan Merritt in the media run-up to the recent Chick-fil-A "buy-cott." Jones makes an important point about the standards by which we judge the microphone-holders in our world: "If you put yourself forward as an purveyor of public ideas, your life is open to scrutiny. It may not be fair, but it is the way of our world, the world of the panopticon."
Auditing America's Political Integrity
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Loyce Healey
This trust continues to heal those old wounds in ways that suspicion never could. Ive known others whove experienced spiritual abuse who have learned to trust again as theyve talked through their experiences with a skilled counselor.
Tim
ounbbl, I don't think whether one calls oneself a Christian should depend on what other people - Christians or not - do or think. At least it doesn't for me. Blessings, Tim
Oun Kwon
What did He mean when he said 'little flock', when there are billions of supposedly Christians in the world? If someone in the highest place in the country is a Christian, as he claims, why do I feel that I am afraid to call myself a Christan?
REBECCA-CHRISTOPHER MILLER
I agree with this post a lot. It can be very hard to make ourselves vulnerable and trust again after getting hurt. I recommend a book called From Bondage to Bonding by Nancy Groom. It helped me a lot after being hurt by the church. I'd also like to add that though we should expect a high standard of our leaders, we should be careful not to put them up on a pedestal. We should expect that they have weaknesses and sins in their lives. The issue is, are they humble and working through these things? Or are they harboring hard hearts? We should be careful not to make idols out of our leaders also. And we should be careful not to expect them to be professional Christians for us. We are ALL called to a high standard as Christians. And we are ALL recipients of God's grace and mercy.
Tami
This is one of the best blog posts I've read here, along with some of the most thoughtful comments. I leave this page encouraged. Thank you.
Paulette
Very good article
Gail Raynor
This is an area that I think the church needs to get right before we see more people get hurt and become disillusioned by abusive and neglectful leadership. That said, there has to be more personal accountability on the part of congregation members. The bible gives the example of the Bereans who searched the scriptures daily to ensure that what was being preached was accurate. If it doesn't line up with the bible, it needs to be examined more closely. On top of this, we can judge leaders by the fruit they exhibit in their lives. Discernment and wisdom are God-given gifts that we should never be afraid to use for fear of offending.
Paulette
This is a great (and for me, timely) article. Van Loon takes a sensitive, albeit candid, look at an issue oft swept under the pulpit. When these challenges arise within the Body of Christ they should be confronted expeditiously and addressed according to the biblical prescription (in love) otherwise it becomes much harder to clean up the putrefying sores, a painful process that must precede the healing...Thanks for this post, Michelle Van Loon!
Rick Dalbey
That is terrific Eric. An inspiration to other cities. Like you, I believe there is a trans-denominational church of Portland or Boston or Richmond that meets at a variety of locations. The more we can do to work together and encourage one another, the better off we will all be. By the way, Rick, not Just Karen wrote those comments, readers are always mistaking authorship because of the way Hermeneutics structures their comments. I see what I wrote as aspirational, something pastors and churches can aspire to while encouraging and submitting to co-elders and prophets, not a destructive revolution.
Marlena
Michelle, This is just excellent. I've experienced odious Christianity--or odious people who posture as Christians. It's hard to know whether they're following Jesus or using the church to ascend to power. God will judge between the wheat and the tares. But I have to answer to him for myself. And remember that hate and suspicion will ruin me. I must forgive and pray for my enemies and the enemies of people I love. I cannot let hate and dysfunction take root in me. I have to allow evil to overcome good in me. Thank you so much!
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