Coveting Cover to Cover: Why I Gave Up Vogue for Lent
My junior year of college, I gave up Vogue for Lent.
Some people fast for forty days. Some give up sugar, or pray for someone daily, or get really crazy and give up Facebook. I gave up a pretentious, ad-filled, once-monthly magazine. And since Lent is forty days long, that amounted to … one issue.
Writing that now, it feels pathetic. But in so many ways, it changed my life.
I love fashion. I write about it a fair amount on my blog, and Oscar night is like Christmas to me. And I think that's okay. Cliché though it may sound, what you wear can be a great expression of who you are, what mood you're in, what interests you.
But I had gotten to a point with what I read in Vogue and other magazines that I found myself, in my free time, thinking about how I could expand my already-large closet, and how I looked in comparison with the people in those pages and the people around me.
More than wanting certain things, I had grown to want a certain lifestyle. It wasn't just the $400 cashmere throws or gorgeous jackets that cost ten times our monthly rent. It was that I wanted a lifestyle that would provide me with whatever I want, whenever I wanted it. I grew to believe that this lifestyle would provide real security, especially against the anxiety that I've struggled with most of my life. If anxiety could be measured in units, I would simply buy them away, one boutique purchase at a time. After all, the people in the glossy pages of these magazines looked so happy! So contented by their overstuffed white furniture and handmade leather boots and month-long trips to the Amalfi Coast. If I could just have what they had, surely I would be happier, more at peace.
And now, I know why not coveting is important enough to have made it into the Ten Commandments. It will eat away at your heart. Nothing (and more importantly, no one) will ever be good enough for you, because you live in a world that doesn't exist. Coveting is the business of, as my mom has often said, comparing your insides to someone else's outsides.
This may not be Vogue for you. It may be who brings the best cupcakes to the neighbor's birthday party, or how clean your house is, or how well you do relative to your colleagues at work. We all have our unique issues – and mine, I have learned, goes beyond clothes and appearance much more deeply into image.
In John 21, Jesus makes a post-Resurrection appearance to some of the Disciples and asks Peter, in a lovely echo of Peter's earlier denial, if he loves Jesus. Three times, Jesus asks, and three times, Peter responds. Jesus continues the conversation remarking on how Peter will die. (This is very uplifting stuff.) Peter, in his poignant and earnest and eminently relatable humanity, looks back at John and says to Jesus: "What about him?"
The Seminary Gender Gap
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R
Fabulous post! Thank you! I am an occasional reader of Vogue, Architectural Digest, Better Homes and Gardens, and other sorts of whimsy magazines that meet my heart's fantasies for a pretty (and apparently, well-endowed, care-free) life. Last week, I was thinking about how I love spending time with Jesus, yet how I wished for a new, tangible glimpse of his love for me and my love for beauty (which I like to think I inherited from my Heavenly Father :). While doing my devos, my Bible "fell open" to Psalm 45 - one of my high school favorites: "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him for he is your lord... How glorious is the princess within her chamber... her gown is interwoven with gold." Yes, I do believe we have a Heavenly Father who not only designed a painful and beautiful plan of salvation, but one who draws us, calls to us in the deepest parts of our hearts by meeting us in that hidden place of beauty he designed just for *us*, he and me, to share. Again, lovely post. Blessings on your Lenten season.
R
Fabulous post! Thank you! I am an occasional reader of Vogue, Architectural Digest, Better Homes and Gardens, and other sorts of whimsy magazines that meet my heart's fantasies for a pretty (and apparently, well-endowed, care-free) life. Last week, I was thinking about how I love spending time with Jesus, yet how I wished for a new, tangible glimpse of his love for me and my love for beauty (which I like to think I inherited from my Heavenly Father :). While doing my devos, my Bible "fell open" to Psalm 45 - one of my high school favorites: "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him for he is your lord... How glorious is the princess within her chamber... her gown is interwoven with gold." Yes, I do believe we have a Heavenly Father who not only designed a painful and beautiful plan of salvation, but one who draws us, calls to us in the deepest parts of our hearts by meeting us in that hidden place of beauty he designed just for *us*, he and me, to share. Again, lovely post. Blessings on your Lenten season.
Lois Roelofs
The key here for me also is the "freedom" that letting go of coveting brings. And,yes,therein lies God,our ever present leader and guider through life. My favorite song: Lead me, guide me along the way...
Lois Roelofs
The key here for me also is the "freedom" that letting go of coveting brings. And,yes,therein lies God,our ever present leader and guider through life. My favorite song: Lead me, guide me along the way...
H. Clarity
Bravo to you. I would offer that coveting in general--beyond women's magazines in a big problem. I heard someone once quip that without coveting, the economy would shut down. So much of the world wants what we want and I fear anything other than intrinsic values--freedom of speech and expression, freedom to worship the religion of your choice or having no religion, loving people for who they are (not what you want them to be or what they could be)--that is, having more "stuff" is not only a problem for people in this country but a value that causes problems the world over. The desire for stuff serves to keep us blind--not only to things that are important (e.g. relationships) but to things that are difficult to look at like the growing economic disparity between the rich and the poor, the degradation of the environment, and the treatment of people who are different or weak, or don't fit in. Getting into stuff keeps us in a trance and serves to keep us from questioning things.
H. Clarity
Bravo to you. I would offer that coveting in general--beyond women's magazines in a big problem. I heard someone once quip that without coveting, the economy would shut down. So much of the world wants what we want and I fear anything other than intrinsic values--freedom of speech and expression, freedom to worship the religion of your choice or having no religion, loving people for who they are (not what you want them to be or what they could be)--that is, having more "stuff" is not only a problem for people in this country but a value that causes problems the world over. The desire for stuff serves to keep us blind--not only to things that are important (e.g. relationships) but to things that are difficult to look at like the growing economic disparity between the rich and the poor, the degradation of the environment, and the treatment of people who are different or weak, or don't fit in. Getting into stuff keeps us in a trance and serves to keep us from questioning things.
Robyn Widmer
Really, ALL "women's" magazines play to insecurity and greed. I gave them up years ago when my daughter was born and I realized that I didn't want her to absorb the messages of inferiority and sexuality rampant even in LHJ. We don't allow them in our home. The difference in my view of myself is dramatic. I would challenge other women to give them up as well.
Robyn Widmer
Really, ALL "women's" magazines play to insecurity and greed. I gave them up years ago when my daughter was born and I realized that I didn't want her to absorb the messages of inferiority and sexuality rampant even in LHJ. We don't allow them in our home. The difference in my view of myself is dramatic. I would challenge other women to give them up as well.
AnneM
I was interested to read that you struggle with Vogue. When we moved to the US 1.5 years ago, I was thrilled to learn that I could subscribe to Vogue for a whole year for just $26! The magazine came every month, and at first I ripped open the plastic and spent an hour or two perusing the ads and features. But as time wore on, it lay there in the plastic for longer and longer, until eventually I realized I wasn't really reading it before the next one came. True, the visuals are gorgeous, and I love the fashion, but the tone and style of the writing just felt completely dissonent with my faith and view on life. After reading it and inevitably comparing myself to the models, I found myself being ultra-critical of my own appearance - and this is a weakness for me: deriving my worth from how I look. So I cancelled my subscription and haven't looked back. Life is calmer without the covetousness.
KT
Coveting may seem minor, but the New Testament reminds us that "coveting...is idolatry." I too struggle with coveting things from others, although even more so with coveting their affection and respect than their lifestyles (but those close to me know I can covet lifestyles and possessions quite a bit also). Thanks for this piece. It was a good reminder.
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