On Valentine's Day, Praying for Men Who Buy Sex
Her.meneutics isn't in the habit of encouraging thought experiments, but try this one for a moment.
If you kept a log of all your thoughts and remarks about men in a given day, what types of statements would be listed? Or, put another way: How many words can you think of to describe a man you disrespect? Now how many can you think of to describe a man you esteem?
As soon as I asked myself these questions, I thought of two or three dismissive nouns to which I could reduce a guy who angered or frustrated me. But I struggled for positive counterparts, and the ones I thought of (prince and, um, prince) seemed derived from the world of fairytales and fantasy — words I couldn't really use in any honest way.
Were you much different?
That pattern, I suspect stems from our incomplete knowledge of others. As a consequence, we're constantly filling in the gaps, taking what we know and then adding sin or perfection. So we construe Mr. X based on selfishness, lust, or sloth (cue disgust) or on the wit, sensitivity, and Rogaine that we think will render life together pain-free and easy (cue unrealistic expectations). Worse, our projections for Mr. X aren't even about what kind of man the mythical he is, but the special ways he could please and satisfy us — or is sure to fail in doing so.
This, I think, is why we see such brokenness displayed in the industrial complex of Valentine's Day. It's not about the glorification of self-giving, other-serving love, but the demand for another's love to serve and gratify us.
The Bible offers a different way to think about romantic love in light of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. And I'd like to suggest that it also offers a different way to conceive of our brothers.
The tendencies described above suggest that we tend to imagine men as either wholly depraved and under sin or angelic and free of sin. But what if we imagined them under grace and living by the power of the Cross? To do so is to uphold and affirm both men's fallenness under the curse, and their potential to image the God who created them and empowers them to help bring his kingdom on earth.
Try it for a moment. Think of a man you tend to disgust or scorn and imagine what he would be like if God really got a hold of his life. What would he be like "on" Jesus (in the parlance of that old, Reagan-era anti-drug commercial)? Not the Jesus of greedy TV preachers and seven-day conversions but the Jesus who transformed John Newton from a slave trader into a preacher who penned one of our most enduring expressions of grace. The Jesus whose love so radically transformed a zealous and murderous persecutor of the early church that he became one of its most passionate defenders and exhorters, preaching and writing until he himself was put to death. What if that Jesus got into the man you can't stand? What would he be like? What traits and skills of his, if redirected by love and humility, could become a means of blessing and serving others instead of causing harm and destruction?
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Tim
BarneyO, I wouldn't call someone who'd "rather be with hookers" much of a man. Your opinion is understandable in light of 1 Corinthians 2:14, though. Blessings, Tim
BarneyO
Obviously Ms. Broadway doesn't like the competition. Men would rather be with hookers than Christian women like her. So her answer isn't to look at herself or her religion but to blame it on some mysterious boogie man(the devil) that is infecting men's souls and keeping them from seeing how wonderful she is. It's never her and her faith. The total narcissism and arrogance of Christian women is why men would rather be with hookers.
Steve Skeete
I have no problem with a Pray for "Johns" Day. Fact is, I have no problem with prayer at all since there is no such thing as too much prayer. However, I do have a question. After we have prayed for the "Johns" will we have a Pray for "Janes" Day as well? I'm asking this with the hope that Anna does not believe(like they do in Sweden)that in prostitution, men are always offenders while women are merely victims. Maybe I am just too sensitive, but this article leaves me with the distinct impression that when it comes to sex all men need "prayer", as if, somehow, something is wrong with us that is not wrong with women. I feel like I am being asked to believe that for women, prostitution is always about meeting needs and supporting children (abandoned by other men, of course), while for men it is simply, well, sex. It is probably this simplistic view of men that leads the writer to feel disgust and scorn simply by "thinking" of them. As for me, when I think of men I think of my father, brothers, several of my teachers and mentors, and a host of international figures including Nelson Mandela, none of whom fill me with disgust. Is this simply because I, too, am a man.
Me
About ten years ago I went through a big low point in my life. I desperately tried to find help but couldn't seem to get it. I thought of suicide all the time. The only thing that made me want to live through the day became the thought of calling a 900 number. Then porn. Then it was a strip club. Eventually an escort and prostitute, although I didn't visit the later category more than two or three times. I have been free of all of that for several years, been leading a men's bible study for several years, and seen God continue working in me unlike he has any other time in my life.
Me
About ten years ago I went through a big low point in my life. I desperately tried to find help but couldn't seem to get it. I thought of suicide all the time. The only thing that made me want to live through the day became the thought of calling a 900 number. Then porn. Then it was a strip club. Eventually an escort and prostitute, although I didn't visit the later category more than two or three times. I have been free of all of that for several years, been leading a men's bible study for several years, and seen God continue working in me unlike he has any other time in my life.
David Grant
All business is supply and demand. When the demand (men) is gone, the supply (women) will be out of business. If a woman "advertises" there must be something for sale!
David Grant
All business is supply and demand. When the demand (men) is gone, the supply (women) will be out of business. If a woman "advertises" there must be something for sale!
MelissaT
I like this idea. I just wonder why have you left out the women who are also part of this equation?
Dawn Jewell
Woo-hoo! Three cheers for this initiative. So thankful for Anna's exhortation. It's definitely time to move beyond disgust to love in action for our brothers.
Charis
Interesting timing! My husband pointed out to the article- front page center in the print version of yesterday's USA Today (source). The lead sentence "Husbands and wives take note: If Valentine's Day expectations aren't met, your mate might soon be looking elsewhere for a little romance and appreciation." ...which led us into a discussion of the differences between men and women. Paying for it would not appeal to this woman in a million years!
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