Breastfeeding in Church, and Other Petty Crimes
A Georgia woman named Nirvana Jenette claims she was kicked out of church for breastfeeding, the pastor ordering her to nurse the baby in the bathroom and calling her behavior 'lewd,' comparing her to a stripper.
As a culture we're no strangers to boobage—and not just in music videos and Victoria's Secret commercials. It's not unusual to see professional women's necklines plunging so low so as nearly to permit nursing with little further exposure. Nor is it rare to see suburban teens posing provocatively in photos on social media.
Yet strangely, we are still squeamish about breastfeeding. It's breastfeeding dolls—not Bratz or Barbies—-that are considered inappropriate for children and disgusting. Similarly, breastfeeding moms are, like Jennette, asked to leave courtrooms and churches, while photos of breastfeeding babes are blocked from Facebook.
Even in cultures that are, by North American standards, very traditional and modest, breastfeeding is accepted without hesitation as the natural, God-designed act that it is. My dad—a pastor who travels regularly to Guatemala to study language and to work with various mission partners there—tells me that he commonly sees women nursing comfortably and openly in the front row as he preaches in even the most conservative of evangelical churches.
I'm grateful to have been able to breastfeed my children. For me, it wasn't only about providing my children what's best for them. It was also about caring for them in the way God says he cares about his children.
I breastfed my youngest son until he was nearly out of diapers, partly because he loved it and never wanted to quit. I was also motivated to continue because, unlike his older brother, my youngest seemed to catch every virus, bacteria, and malaise that came his way: a serious respiratory infection at six months, a fever complicated by heatstroke when he was one, a multidrug resistant staph infection at 18 months, with others in between and after. Each time, his illnesses not only lingered but were complicated by vomiting, dehydration, and terrifying weight loss. More than a few times before his 3rd birthday, breast milk was the only thing he could manage to get down. His doctors agreed that continued breastfeeding was a good idea for my then-fragile (now, thank God, sturdy) son.
When he was one year old and decidedly cherubic—with chubby pink cheeks and golden curls—my family visited Rome, and, of course, Vatican City. I was prepared with skirts and modest tops for visiting St. Peter's, but I hadn't considered for a moment that breastfeeding might break the rules of modesty. So when my little cherub was hungry, I settled cross-legged in a corner, in sight of Michelangelo's Pieta—that haunting sculpture where Mary cradles the broken body of her Son—and began to nurse, identifying, maybe for the first time, with Jesus' mom as I cradled by own boy.
The Seminary Gender Gap
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Clarice
we can feed in public but just learn how to be discreet. . breastfeeding is natural and good for mothers and their children, it can become a modesty issue. In the same way that a woman should seek to be discreet concerning her attire, mothers need exercise careful discretion when breastfeeding in public places. Humans perform all sorts of natural functions, but not all natural functions are for all to see. some women do not want their children, much less their husbands, exposed to your nursing. What is the solution to this dilemma? Here are some ideas: cover yourself and your baby with a light blanket or other such covering, schedule feedings what ever. it does happen that even when you cover yourself and your baby with a light bblanket some people will still give you that look. but for sure you no that you are not explicit. so all i think is i did what i could. breastfeeding is the best thing we can give our babies. . God bless
Jessica
Has anyone mentioned the children??? I have not been able to read the huge volume of comments completely. But, really, those hungry, deserving little ones who know nothing of what any of us are talking about? Newborns need to eat at least every 2 hours if they nurse, sometimes more and frankly there is not always a "perfect" place to go. A women would never leave home in order to guarantee the world that the act of nursing would never be seen. A bathroom is dfntly NOT acceptable as it carries germs that a newborn has no defense against catching. DANGEROUS! And yes, I am appalled at the Christian community who cannot or chooses not to understand that such a NEED for nourishment (people do not die without sex, but they do without food, so NO comparison, sorry!) was created by the same God that created them. Breastfeeding in public should be so much less an issue of do or don't as much as IT IS A MUST if women are ever to be allowed to leave their homes to function normally in public rather than become hermits just to appease the staring, gasping community. So learn to do it discreetly and other women should be teaching them!
Nirvana
Thank you for writing this! To the posts that compare breastfeeding to sex - HUGE DIFFERENCE! If you study in depth about what scriptures say about breastfeeding, scriptures are VERY clear about the stance we should have about it- REJOICING it. Please do your research before following the traditions of man. Nirvana
Rdean
Breastfeeding is no more natural than urinating, vomiting, deficating, farting, etc. None of which are readily accepted as socially acceptable as pubic displays. I can modestly urinate in a bottle under a blanket, So, why should I take the time to get up, go to another room exposing myself to germs when I can modestly do it right where I'm sitting? This is an obviously "ridiculous" example, but ONLY because the majority of people think public urination as unacceptable. I submit that public breastfeeding is ONLY acceptable because some think so. There is nothing inherently immodest about public breasfeeding, even when covered. I ask women to consider other adults who may be in the room. Please do not be bigot by being so intolerant of others' beliefs that public breastfeeding is neither normal nor desirable.
Anonymous
Thank you for writing this. when I was a new christian I had no idea about rules about modesty and I was a new mother and so I breastfed. I grew up around strong women who taught that breastfeeding was best and beautiful and had no idea that anyone else might not think so. I was devastated when I was talked to by the pastors wife, that some members of our congregation had complained to her about me not being discreet while I breastfed. I was extreamly hurt and in all honesty went searching for just one Christian who agreed with me that I shouldn't be made to feel ashamed to feed my children. I was so embarrassed and then angry at being made to feel that way. I forgave them and then tried to be more discreet, but I find that I still feel ashamed and embarrassed when I try to feed my children now around any Christian. It is nice to read that some Christians out there recognize breastfeeding as normal.
catherine
This video covers the breast feeding dilemma that occurred at Target in a quite humorous manner, but offers some good insight how thats an issue, but fat, hairy men walking around shirtless is not? Worth a watch for sure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&feature=youtu.be&v=cwO3GLIVHE0
Lori Ann
I appreciate the article, but reading the comments, wow am I thankful I live where I do (rural China)! It's sad to see this contrast but honestly, I've never had trouble breastfeeding in public here (I don't use something to "cover up," I just pull my shirt up as little as necessary)... everyone here has grown up around breastfeeding so everyone just looks away long enough for me to latch baby on, then maintains eye contact while I nurse. I don't live near many Christians, and porn is a big problem here, but public breastfeeding's just normal... not sexualized and never a problem. It's sad that especially new moms (who, if like me, may try hard to keep things covered but find it difficult at first when you need some visual help latching on baby) have this extra layer of worry to add to being a mother!
Kathi Vande Guchte
Breast feeding a baby is natural and how God designed things. A mother's body nurtures the baby as it grows to the point of living outside the body, and then she nurtures her child by nursing her baby at her breast - I don't dispute that at all. The issue is an exposed breast. This does not mean a woman has to slink off in the bathroom or any other room, and it certainly is not anything shameful, but exposing the breast is what makes others uncomfortable. Please do breast feed your baby, but also please do not expose your breast as you do so in a public place. A light scarf or receiving blanket is all we ask - nothing to create a too-warm environment for your baby. But really, you certainly would not expose your breast to the public, which includes your in-laws and fellow congregants, if a baby were not nursing.
V
I nursed my son for over a year and at times had to do it in public. I used Hooter Hiders and absolutely loved them, most of the time no one was aware. I think if it is done respectfully women should be able to breastfeed wherever they like.
Tim
Robyn, to add to your thoughts on secondary sexual characteristics, I think a man's chest hair falls in the same category. In my case though, it's best for all concerned that I keep my torso covered (especially for those who have just finished eating)! Cheers, Tim
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