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Confessions of a Lustful Christian Woman


Mar 21 2012
The first step Christians can take to help women struggling with lust is to acknowledge that they exist.

I watched Butterfield 8 with my husband last weekend. Elizabeth Taylor won an Oscar for her role as the sexually abused and sexually addicted call girl that falls in love. Her story is precisely what I've heard on the road from girls as young as 12. Sexual abuse found them early and turned them into women who seem to be all "sex and devil-may-care" (Butterfield 8).

But sexually abused women are not the only ones who end up interested in sex.

A long-time playboy and artist of Laguna Beach once calmly told me, "Women are just as sexually dominant as men," he paused, "Maybe even more."

His opinion is not an anomaly, though it may strike you as odd. Five hundred years ago, these words could have been uttered by a priest.

In the Middle Ages, priests informed the laity that women were naturally more lustful, insatiable, and visually stimulated. Can you imagine that? Women were the horny ones. Men, the celibate priests taught, were the naturally spiritual and rational ones.

How times have changed. In our Christian subculture men are the visually stimulated, carnal ones. "Women give sex to get love" (Every Woman's Battle). Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explain in For Men Only, "Your Body (no matter how much of a stud you are) does not by itself turn on her body" (P. 133).

Personally, I beg to disagree.

A man's body can turn a woman on … ask any woman about how she feels in Abercrombie and Fitch stores. Or ask the bride in Song of Solomon:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
So is my beloved among the young men.
In his shade I took great delight and sat down,
And his fruit was sweet to my taste (1:3).

Okay, you might say, but once the honeymoon is over and you've got kids and sleep deprivation? No woman sustains this kind of attraction to sex, not longterm. That's why Playboy sells more than Playgirl. That's why men talk about struggles with porn and women don't.

Well, I have news for you.

The internet filter review from ChristianityToday.com documents 70 percent of women keep their cyber activities secret. But, 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women.

Women's attraction to the male body is a widely experienced but little publicized reality. Crystal Renaud, founder of Dirty Girls Ministries (DGM) shared in a New York Times interview last May on her own porn addiction, at age 10. She founded DGM to help women like her. Still skeptical? Just notice the posters on tween's bedroom walls or the way they gush over Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers, not simply their music, but their bodies.

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