So God did or did not make babies that came from sperm banks? Should you tell someone born this way that their existence was not God's will? Religion is poison: The Anna Broadway Story.

Many of the same good thoughts occur here to me also. Primarily those that cry out in the wilderness of the desert called hope: "The message that GOD WANTS millions of desperate Christian women to remain single and childless their entire lives is not only NOT TRUE but also destructive." "...spiritual love is not enough. A whole person is body, mind, spirit". We often do not hope in vain, and we must put our trust in our faiths as we see it. (My faith tradition is different than AB/C here, and likely most of the board, but I'm still very familiar with CT too.) The path that is rejected here is not only costly, but is fraught with several difficult ongoing 'maintenance' decisions that may not suit the masses let alone many 'traditional' christians. Still, it may and can be quite viable under many different circumstances that are envisioned by the technology: cancer diagnosis and other terminal or chronic diseases, and even prolonged military engagements. But for single women there's likely easier and far cheaper options to pursue. Which brings up the modern paradox many seemingly face. How is it that 'traditional minded Christian women' wind up voluntarily with out either husbands or children? (Without 'taking on orders'?!) Why is this happening at rates that seem higher than ever before in modern US history? What is it about the interaction with the modern age that seemingly teaches many of these women today that this is what their Church or religion demands of them? That they all become somehow ever silent stalwart servants and 'eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven?' How and why is celibacy & chastity celebrated and demanded ahead of all other commandments and/or moral teachings and instructions? Why is this a burden weighing most heavily upon women, and why is it somehow more demanded of us here & now? Why do other cultures seemingly have a slightly different understanding of this arrangement, and why can & have they (sometimes) come to a more 'amenable' compromise on the central problem and issue of sexuality? Above all else, why can and will these immense and deeply profound, but largely hidden sacrifices be indeed celebrated almost solely by who are afflicted by them? It's truly a mind boggling vise and 'puzzle box' that many endure, secreted away from their essential natures for perhaps decades. How this incredibly yes, 'wasteful' circumstance can and should be countenanced in the name of any religion or deity is continually amazing & eternally depressing. Now matter how well written or dutiful the author is. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

Wow! First of all, this is a lovely piece of wisdom Anna. God bless you! I really don't want to create an opportunity for a debate or argument, so I will just give scriptures, which any christian who can read and believes the word of God, would find useful in dealing with whatever issues mentioned in the preceding comments. Dealing with the sad happenings as the "will" of God : psalm 115:16 - "the heavens are the Lord's, but the earth He has given to the children of men". Dealing with not getting what you desire, and accepting it as the will of God:John 16:24 "up to now you have made no request in my name: do so, and it will be answered, so that your hearts may be full of joy". Psam 84:11 - The Lord God is our sun and our strength. the Lord will give grace and glory: he will not keep back any good thing from those whose ways are upright".(BBE) These scriptures are just a fraction of God's desire for His children, and His position concerning their status on earth. The truth is, the will of God is rarely done on earth. God has given us a freewill, and will not influence our lives uninvited. Jesus was speaking to the people and he said, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, putting to death the prophets,and stoning those who are sent to her! Again and again would I have taken your children to myself as a bird takes her young ones under her wings, and you would not!" Here, we know that God can never take blame for anything, because what goes on here on earth is what we have made it to be. And if He says "ask that you might receive, that your joy may be full", it simply tells us that He wants us happy and full of joy. It's a promise, and God never breaks His promises. For the women out there who are yet to have their needs met, my heart goes out to you all. But I will say, it is never too late to have those needs met. When we don't get what we desire at a certain time, we find it quite easy to resign our fate, and call it God's will. No! it is not God's will for any of His children to go about life unfulfilled. Jesus said, " i have come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly". Getting married and having children, if you so desire, is part of the abundant life, and God will give it to you. I will just say you go back to the drawing board of His word. Find out where you missed it, and start again. There are still some good christian husbands out there, and there are lots of children for a blessing. Psalm 127:3 says "Children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward". And God has promised to REWARD them who diligently seek Him. I will leave these words with everyone, including me; Hebrews 11:6 says "And without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those that seek Him". God is a rewarder, and He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. And you seek God through His word. His word says everything about who He is, and builds in us the faith to receive the promises. You can get it right this time. Ask, and if you believe you have it(as a done deal regardless of the natural), you will have it. it is the prayer of faith! The "when" is not our call. It never has been, and it never will be, Acts 1:7 " it is never for you to know times and seasons that the father has fixed by his own authority..." Abraham didnt know when Isaac would come. He waited over twenty years. Joseph knew he was going to be a leader, he had no idea when. David was anointed king, but had no idea when he would begin to reign as one. All of these people had a promise on them, but though they had to wait for so long, they did receive the promise, and we can too!

Freezing EGGS isn't the same as freezing EMBRYOS. Eggs are not lives. They have not been fertilized. And no life has been destroyed if they are destroyed. The IVF "controversy" is irrelevant to this essay.

After my marriage officially ended in 2006, I felt bitter & lost as the x was given the twins I had always prayed for ( less than a year later!). Now at 38 having children of my own seems impossible. However, yet when I graduated from college last Sun I knew ALL things (even the messy,hurtful,sinful & betrayful things) happen for a reason. This well written article reminds me of why I chose this path...there are women in our congregations/communities who need ministries that are designed for them. It was literally poetry when I read, "What I’ve frequently gotten instead, however, is hunger, nakedness, and silence. Yet in that place of seeming emptiness, I keep hearing a solo violin or oboe whose song is so powerful as to draw harmonies and counterpoint around itself from the surrounding rocks and caves. As I listen, I’m surprised to find myself fed, clothed, warmed, and even singing along till the sound ricochets up to the very top of the canyon walls. It turns out the melody is richer and more distinct in barren places and wide-open spaces." God has kept me in the dark places & showed me why the darkness is there....it needs me to be a light for others. Showing others that Christ can heal the hurts, give hope, & provide happiness. Reading this has done just that on this blessed day! God bless you. Angela Ps Pls excuse any typos :)

I found this article way too mystical and passive-minded. Things don't need to be made overly complicated. If you know you want children and you have no prospects in sight, plan ahead and bank the eggs. It's no different from wanting a nice retirement -- you plan ahead and bank your retirement savings. Funny how no one scolds an investor about not trusting God to provide them with a good retirement (or a downpayment on a house, or college tuition), but these boars are filled with schoolmarms tsk-tsking those who plan ahead in the reproductive area. Attempting to parse it into 'I'm-allowed-to-plan-this-but-not-that' strikes me as ludicrous.

To ChrisR - I'm really sorry that you've ended up 53, single, and childless. Unfortunately, this is the reality that most single women in the church will face. If you follow GOD'S WILL for your life, then you end up alone (and, of course, you also get blamed for not living a godly enough life to have earned a husband and children). The church is a very family oriented, and it's difficult to be a single person in the church (especially when you hear crap like it's GOD'S WILL for you to be unfulfilled and spending every holiday alone). Relationships ARE important and they ARE fulfilling, and, when you don't have a husband and children by a certain age, you no longer "fit in" (both inside the church and outside the church). I'm beginning to experience this at the age of 35 (perpetually single and childless, of course). The last boyfriend I had was seven years ago. He was basically using me until he could be sure that he could get accepted into a university where he believed that he would have lots of other opportunities (he went back to school when he was older). Once he got accepted, he still didn't want to break up with me until he could find someone better, but, at the same time, he was resentful towards me, because I was getting in his way of dating other prettier, thinner, younger girls. Everywhere we went, people thought that he was ugly and that I was beautiful (and people still think that I'm beautiful and can't believe that I don't have a boyfriend/husband), yet he was sure that something better would eventually come along (GOD still hasn't dropped a supermodel through the air for him like he believed would happen, and he's also still single). And yes, he's a christian. When I finally broke up with him (after several months of being emotionally terrorized into doing so), a woman in the church that I went to told me that GOD must not have a husband planned for me. This same woman had actually divorced her first husband, because she didn't want to be married to him anymore, and GOD sent her another husband (I guess since GOD had two husbands planned for her, there weren't enough husbands to go around). At the time, I had to move back home with my mother who is abusive, and she took the opportunity to beat the last little bit of self-esteem out of me. After that, I just gave up on ever being able to have a relationship. Unfortunately, the church just isn't a place that attracts single men (or very many desirable single women in my opinion). The singles group that I went to at one church was all women, all overweight, all on antidepressants, and all seeing the same counselor. I was literally the only thin, single person in the entire church (and, of course, there were no single men). My opinion is that it's a very family oriented place to be, and single men don't feel comfortable. Also, the church has become feminized - it's all about feelings and sacrifice - not something that comes naturally to men. So, what I see is that the women who are desirable go outside of the church to get married and men only start going to church once they have a wife and family. I'm not sure what kind of issues you're facing in your life. For me, I spent my late teens/early 20's in abusive relationships due to low self-esteem due to growing up in an abusive home. Unfortunately, our culture doesn't encourage marriage or any kind of commitment, so it's the norm for both men and women to have sex and live together until they finally slide into the decision of marriage at an older age. I want to encourage you though. Even though you are past the age of bearing children, it's still possible for you to be able to get married. My dad got remarried at the age of 60, and his wife is a year older than him (both christian). Please don't listen to this crap that GOD will wave his magic wand and drop a man through the air IF he wants you to get married. If that was the truth, there wouldn't be divorce, there wouldn't be gay ...

Thank you Chris R. Your comments and story have moved me deeply.

God closed every door and every window for me, but hasn't shown me the way in or out. What I wanted most was to be a married mother of children. I guarded my chastity; paid my own way through a Christian university with two career options (one for being a work-at-home mother); and held out for an honorable Christian man who would be equally committed to raising godly children. I was highly involved in church activities and singles ministries, and worked for para-church businesses. The years passed, and no Christian men were EVER interested in me. EVER. So I thought of adopting a foreign child, or doing as a divorced friend did, artificial insemination, thinking that I'd regret my "golden years" being spent alone. I rejected both paths for several reasons, but primarily because I couldn't afford to work and provide health care, AND raise a child without child care by others. Now, I'm 53 and have begun menopause, while my classmates and church friends and everyone I know, have teen or young adult children, and grandchildren. And I face the next 30 years alone, still virgin, and childless. I know I obeyed God, and yet, I'm living in a waterless, rainless desert. And to be absolutely candid with you strangers and myself, I resent that trusting my body to God has led to this place. Not always. But definitely when I'm taking communion at church, and on holidays, and other times when you'd expect to be with your own family, instead of being the guest outsider. Would I have made different choices if I could have 20 years back? Yes. I'd have adopted but compromised on time with my child. Can I do it now, at a young 53? No. God has slammed some doors that no human can open (Revelation 3:7). Yes, God loves me. And you may think this faithless or heretical, but please hear my heart: spiritual love is not enough. A whole person is body, mind, spirit.

again even if we sin, and even someone sins against us( forefather , God's will is His will, if He desires for something to happen it happens. He is all powerful, regardless of our hearts or rebellion, HE chooses to have mercy on Whom He wants and its always for HIs purposes not ours. But in order to know this we must life for HIS will not our own. Peace