How God Can Use Your Anxiety for Good
Change of any significance has always been hard for me. Every year growing up I dreaded the first day of school, far beyond what felt like the "normal" mourning that summer was over. Going away to college was physically wrenching—I spent the first week unable to eat, convinced that I would never be as content as the hordes of new best friends I was surrounded by. While everyone around me sailed through the first few days, I cried myself to sleep and constantly warred with the nervous feeling in my stomach.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder, they called it. GAD. Which, somehow, seems fitting. GAD, which reportedly affects about 3 percent of the U.S. population, is characterized by frequent, constant worry with little or no cause. A GAD sufferer will generally bear a daily burden of anxiety not tied to any specific threat. Through no choice of our own, we live in a state of anxiety that is largely disconnected from the reality of our otherwise normal circumstances. While my daily anxiety is a bit better now thanks to exercise, therapy, and medication, it remains a quiet companion. The National Institute of Mental Health reported on a study that found women are 60 percent more likely than men to experience an anxiety disorder over their lifetime. Perhaps the higher frequently is due to women's desire to control certain aspects of our lives; perhaps it lives in the same gap we all do, between expectation and reality. Either way, an anxious life is a hard one, and the less we talk about it, the more isolated we feel.
Which is why I was glad to hear about the publication of The Anxious Christian (Moody), by Rhett Smith, a marriage and family therapist based in Texas. The subtitle alone is worth the price of the book: "Can God use your anxiety for good?" Never in my 26 years had I thought about anxiety as a tool that God could use to shape me. On my best days I thought of it as a pesky trial, something that God allowed me to experience; on my worst, I thought it was the absence of God due to my total lack of faith. Many a well-meaning Christian had trotted out Philippians 4:6 when I confessed my struggle: "Do not worry about anything," writes Paul, "but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God." The underlying message here seemed clear to me: Pray more. Give thanks more. Don't focus on your anxiety.
Yet as Smith writes, "When we discourage from safely expressing their anxiety, then we are essentially saying to them that anxiety is a bad emotion …. It communicates to them that perhaps something is wrong with their Christian faith." Smith goes on to talk about how God may be using anxiety to draw us closer to him, allowing us to recognize our need and limitations as anchors to the One who is sufficient. Focusing on the way Jesus set boundaries in community and kept a constant line of communication open with his Father, Smith helpfully and practically reconciles the experience of anxiety with the reality of God's goodness.
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Kristi Jacobsen
Happy I stumbled across this! I needed it today. Anxiety is a real and frustrating condition, but can definitely be used for good and for God's purpose. A wonderful help for me has been "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes - http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Help-Your-Nerves-Signet/dp/0451167228 "Many of those who suffer from nervousness are persons of fine susceptibilities and delicate regard for honor, endowed with a feeling of duty and obligation toward others. Their nerves have tricked them, misled them." - W.R. Houston “He discloses within us a poise and a peace which the world can never give, and which all the tragedies in the world can never quite take away. This is God’s help. This is His answer to our prayer.” - James Gordon Gilkey, "You can Master Life"
K S
Oh, one more comment. Another tool that has been helpful is to not act when in an anxiety state (i.,e. you want to resolve something with another person, and it's looping and you're getting more and more anxious for resolution). Don't send that letter, that email, whatever, until the state/perceived threat calms down. In other words, DO NOTHING. Until it can be resolved from a level-headed place and you know exactly the right thing to do, because when the amygdala's up, perceptions can be skewed. Trust me, you'll be glad later that you didn't end up looking crazy. ;-) Yikes.
K S
Just some added advice on this issue: Sometimes the causes are affected by outside physical factors (ie hormones, medication side effects, thyroid levels, adrenal issues etc. I was getting a dump of stress hormones into my system and overreacting physically to the slightest perceived fight-or-flight threat. So here's what helped: 1) I took one of my thyroid med levels down that was causing me to be overdriven. 2) Took out all chocolate, sugar, and caffeine to let my adrenals rest and heal (and surprisingly, survived). 3) Have been drinking detox tea to support my liver. 4) Made a list of fears and tried to identify the real ones - anxiety is a fight or flight reaction and sometimes real fears (i.e. where will the next meal come from ) need to be addressed. For those which kicked off emotional security issues (i.e. I want to feel accepted by my group of friends) I addressed those too 5)Talked with a friend 6)Artwork or any right brain activity is calming 7)Exercise, vitamin D
K S
One of the prayers that has helped me the most with this is actually from the AA BIg Book: I ask God to remove my fear and direct my attention to what He would have me be. (Notice the word there is "be,' not "do.' ) I"ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety spin-outs as I have been adjusting thyroid med levels, and this prayer really helps to quiet me in whatever measure is possible in the moment.
Doreen Ashley
I never was an anxious person....until my husband died 4 years ago leaving me a stay-at-home mom of two pre-teen children. I would not have survived the last 4 years without a wonderful loving God taking care of us. Overall, my life is fairly good and I am extraordinarily blessed. That said, my body will not leave a high stress/anxious state. I appear to be coping on the outside but inside, I am always in knots. I DO trust God and thank him every day for surviving another day...however, I do not know how to untangle the knots and just relax. The quiet times of my life are actually the worst because they are the times I am the loneliest. I long for the connection I had when I was married. I am trying very hard to accept that my life may be one where I am alone now. I am capable of being alone...however, my heart has a hard time accepting it. All I ever wanted out of life was to be a wife and a mother. Also, I am currently in nursing school and that brings with it it's own special types of anxiety....not from the bookwork, but rather from the random expectations from the instructors that can end our experience so easily....and the lack of acceptance that we have real lives outside of nursing school that also have to be addressed. My brain can wrap around the verses that tell us to not be anxious...but I just can't seem to get my stomach to listen and relax too. God is good. God is in control. However, I live in a body that will not let go of the "fight or flight" state. I don't even know where to start to get help. Mentally, I do not live in fear...God will provide and always has no matter what life throws our way....but physically, my body can't seem to get the message.
Mari
Laura, I so appreciate your words as someone who has struggled with GAD. I think that articles like the one you referenced to are geared towards the "normal" kind of anxiety and not when someone struggles with an anxiety disorder. I wanted to reach through the screen and hug you, reading your words about starting school...every year in high school for the first month or two of school I was literally sick to my stomach with anxiety. Thank you for sharing your experience...
Saul Marchaland
I also agree with Laurie. As a Chrstian individual who for much of my life has felt PTSD, anxiety and panic, I read your post with apprehension, at least at first. All too often God is left out or alternatively used as an out. PTSD and DID can be a lifelong struggle, and in my own view treatment techniques are typically more useful than religion. If you work with a good therapist as well as God there can be hope.
Paul Jhonson
The information is very useful for me, especially to add to my reference of anxiety. I really would like terimkasih for the information.Thanks
Cathy Farmer
I don't know what passage it is but have read it many times. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemmane... he was VERY anxious... to the point that he could not sleep. There was no one of the apostles who could stay up with him, they were sleeping as if they had not a care in the world. But Jesus knew what the next day would bring - torture, injustice, and suffering, and ultimately, death. But not just any death... he would conquer death, but he knew it would be more than any mortal man could bear. He asked his Father in Heaven, "Father, if there is any way you could take this cup from me..." as he did not want to drink it (the coming experiences). Nevertheless, he said, "Your Will, not mine be done." Even Jesus obeyed his Father in Heaven... Jesus is Great! But he is also Humble! I believe anxiety serves a purpose, but like anything it can get out of hand, as I have experienced many times. From social anxiety as a kid, to free-floating general anxiety as an adult, the best cures I can find are sleep, paying about it, and getting out in nature for long (or short) walks or even just sitting on the porch ot observe nature, and knowing that God is in charge of all of us, all creatures great and small. To worry is human - to reassure us that we are loved... that is each other's duty. We should help each other, build each other up... God knows there are plenty of people in our lives who have attempted to tear us down.... but getting back up and fighting the good fight, taking care of ourselves and each other, loving God and giving him all the Glory... that is the antidote to my self-centered fear and anxiety. Still learning.
ef
Thank you for this compassionate and informative article, Laura. It is a great starting point for understanding of this devastating condition. As for Justin Taylor's blog; perhaps he will also write sequels to this one titled: "Eight Reasons Why My Cancer (Diabetes, MS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Early Onset Alzheimer's, Macular Degeneration) Is Pointless and Foolish". I will be very interested to read them.
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