Opinion | Sexuality

'He's Just Not a Spiritual Leader,' and Other Christian Dating Myths

I've seen otherwise strong couples fall apart because the woman held an unfair spiritual standard for the man.

A 2008 Pew Research Center survey found that, when it comes to the character traits deemed most important for political and corporate leadership, most people rate women superior to men, surpassing the latter in the areas of intelligence, honesty, creativity, compassion, and friendliness. Out of the eight traits given, respondents ranked men as superior only in the trait of decision-making.

Of course, the Pew survey is less scientific than one might hope. But still, assuming that leadership gifts aren't doled out along gender lines, and that many women possess the key traits needed for top-notch leadership, what might this mean for Christian dating and marriage—in which many Christians believe the man should lead?

Students often ask me and my husband, Shawn, to walk them through premarital counseling or mentoring as part of a program offered at our university. Most of the time, we're happy to oblige. Not all of the couples are engaged; some are merely contemplating marriage. And after ...

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