Sooo Grateful for My Awesome Hubbie and Life!
I woke up before sunrise this past Mother's Day. The baby and I ate breakfast together while my husband tried to sleep off his latest chemotherapy treatment. There were no perfectly wrapped gifts, nor were there any fun plans to celebrate my first year as a mom. The only person who ate breakfast in bed was my husband, if Gatorade counts as breakfast. I was fine with this—at least until logging onto Facebook.
My newsfeed spilled forth updates and photos from excited mom friends. "Thankful for breakfast in bed!" they said. "I'm so blessed! Hubby got me an adorable necklace for Mother's Day!" Suddenly I felt sorry for myself. I'm certain there were many women—those who have lost mothers, those who have lost children—who felt the sting even more strongly.
I am, of course, the first to blame for these feelings of inadequacy. I am a sinner, so I struggle with comparing my life to others'. The obvious cure for my tendency to compare is to turn off Facebook and turn to Jesus.
But while I acknowledge it is my responsibility to check my attitude, every Christian needs to consider that what they share and how they share can affect people in their online communities.
One way Christians might re-think our posting habits is by evaluating our words. It has become socially acceptable to use online spaces to present the good, happy and tidy sides of our life. Sometimes we are upfront with our boasting, and other times we mask self-congratulatory sharing with a "humble brag."
Coined by Harris Wittels, author of Humblebrag: The Art of False Modesty, the "humble brag" is when someone brags about herself but avoids the social stigma against bragging by couching the announcement in false humility. Though making an appearance in face-to-face conversations, the humble brag is most commonly seen in online spaces such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and blogs, all of which breed announcements about the self.
We American Christians have our own version of the humble brag. Instead of prefacing our brag with phony humility, we sometimes soften it with expressions of blessing and gratitude. We want, like everyone else, to show that our life is good, happy, and exciting, but we also don't want to seem self-important. So we append our posts with praise to God. This is not to say that all online praise is unauthentic—some is, absolutely. But I suspect that some of our expressions of praise are also motivated by a desire to display our life in only a positive light.
Guilty as charged. On a recent vacation, I uploaded a sunset photo with the caption, "Grateful for God's creation." I certainly was grateful, and our Creator deserves such praise. But one primary reason for posting the photo was to show everyone in my Instagram feed that I was having a great time in Hawaii. A lot of Christians in my online communities use this kind of language when sharing exciting moments in their lives, whether it's announcing a new baby, a new car, an engagement, or an exotic vacation.
The Seminary Gender Gap
RSS
Twitter
Facebook
Pinterest
Comments
Displaying 1–10 of 39 comments
See all comments
GaryC
while I agree with all of the points in the post, I can't get past the first part, basically judging the moms and wives that are "bragging" about their seemingly perfect lives. I am very sympathetic to the author's circumstances, but another christian woman shouldn't refrain from praising her kid's or husband publicly simply because someone else may not be able to enjoy a similar type of circumstance. As a man, I don't do things for my wife for public praise, but when she does "brag" about me, you can bet that I feel motivated to repeat the actions that made her happy enough to speak publicly about it. The happiest married men I know are the ones whose wives praise them often, to other people. Yes, we must be careful about the "humble brag," but praising and being thankful of other's actions shouldn't be seen as bragging.
Karen Beculhimer
If your friends have awesome lives, then be happy for them!! I don't think you can justify being envious. We all have blessings and I think it's a good thing to focus on the positive. I don't think Facebook or Twitter is an appropriate place to whine, ask personal advice or come off sulky and sad. We all have bad days, certainly. I for one have had to consciously work on my attitude because I used to have a bad habit to exaggerate my feelings when I was in a bad mood. I worried too much. People who truly knew me know that I'm fine and I bounce back very quickly. However there are people on social media who don't really know me that well...or at all. It's so easy to be radically misunderstood. You don't have the benefit of your tone of voice on the internet. Maybe calling up a friend when you need to is a better idea. That said, I have a friend who recently lost her father. There is no way I would judge her if she's not miss Suzy Sunshine right now! It would be weird if she was! Everyone offers their condolences to her and her family, but I still think it means more in person or on the phone.
Avelina Coombs
while I acknowledge it is my responsibility to check my attitude, every Christian needs to consider that what they share and how they share can affect people in their online communities.
GLMaZZTrQV
valium pills valium pills street value - buy valium australia online
yQyGLOiHoz
discount ambien ambien cr commercial youtube - purchase ambien canada
Rachele Seeley
If you are offended because you didn't wake up this morning, it's still warm where you are, you had unflavored decaf and had to buy your fruit from a store....well excuse me.
Coffeemom
This is my post from this morning: Woke up this morning to cooler weather, Barnies White Christmas coffee and bananas from our tree. Life is good! If you are offended because you didn't wake up this morning, it's still warm where you are, you had unflavored decaf and had to buy your fruit from a store....well excuse me.
Julia
This was such a poignant post and really something that has been on my mind. I completely resonate with so much of this and really appreciate the suggestions at the end, some of which I've started putting into place already. One of the best I've read on this site and definitely gives me more to think about and contemplate than I had already. Thank you!
S.Schulz
Hidden in Christ sums up everything. I am not on Facebook, twitter, or any social network and yet I am connected. My connection is with the HEAD, the living Lord of Glory and in Him I am filled. Tracy & Living Worn, I was blessed by your comments. I agree Tracy, so much of what social media encourages is the feeding of the flesh. The flesh/soul loves to be seen and admired, it craves "like me" and loves to be asked ""what do you think? ", "tell me what matters to you ? " No, as believers in Christ the only answer is "Father, what do you think? ", "what is on your mind and in your heart to do? " Christ Jesus, He alone deserves the preeminence in every area and facet of our lives,for the deep truth is for all those who have been crucified with Him are now hidden in Him and HE is become their own life. LIVING Worn --truly you have said yes to embracing the cross....the cross of not having healthy, loving, kind and supportive parents when you were growing up. The fruit born from such pain is heard through your glorious words of forgiveness, choosing joy, and sweet intimacy with the LORD. To the Father be praised!
rachel - even one sparrow
" It has become socially acceptable to use online spaces to present the good, happy and tidy sides of our life." Hm. This reminds me of Sunday morning. This is also why I started my blog -- to be my real, flawed, confused Christian self (and I don't feel like FB is a great place for constructive conversation, whereas a blog generally is better). I recently asked on my blog (post linked above) about whether or not I should have a pregnancy shot as my profile picture, considering the hurt it could cause people struggling with infertility/waiting for adoptions to go through. I got a WIDE variety of input -- on the blog, and on FB. It was very helpful.
*