
Hookup Culture Is Good for Women, and Other Feminist Myths

The Seminary Gender Gap

Pornography. Casual sex. Crude jokes about sex. Hooking up with no strings attached.
Hanna Rosin's most recent Atlantic article, "Boys on the Side," describes highly intelligent, career-oriented women engaging in all of these behaviors with a mere shrug of the shoulders. In the minds of many driven young women on college campuses across the country, sexual promiscuity doesn't harm anyone. Hooking up has become the new sexual norm for young adults, and according to this norm, students shy away from committed relationships and instead enjoy one-time sexual encounters with no expectation of further intimacy. And, Rosin argues, the sexual liberation of the 1960s that led to the more recent "hookup culture" on college campuses is good for women—it allows women to enjoy casual sex without being "tied down" by serious commitment.
Rosin initially substantiates this claim through interviews with her subjects. Most women who are engaging in the hookup culture report that they don't want to return to the days of chastity belts or even more traditional dating, and Rosin takes these positive reports as evidence that the hookup culture is not only here to stay but is also good for the women involved. She provides no evidence, however, that women who hookup a lot during their early 20s go on to lead fulfilling lives, and she doesn't offer a counterpoint of women who have opted out of hooking up. Furthermore, Rosin offers a few statistics to demonstrate positive trends nationwide when it comes to sexual mores. The rate of teenage girls having sex has declined from 37 to 27 percent in the past 25 years, for instance. And the rate of rape and sexual assault against females has declined by 70 percent nationally since 1993. Both of these numbers demonstrate significant progress for women. Whether or not the positive statistics correlate to the rise of the hookup culture, however, remains unclear.
Rosin's stance on hookup culture hinges on two assumptions. First, she assumes that economic productivity and personal independence are the twin goals of every modern person. Feminists shouldn't decry the advent of the hookup culture, she argues, because it "is too bound up with everything that's fabulous about being a young woman in 2012—the freedom, the confidence, the knowledge that you can always depend on yourself." Moreover, "[the hookup culture] is not a place where they drown … unlike women in earlier ages, they have more-important things on their minds, such as good grades and internships and job interviews and a financial future of their own." Intimacy, family, and community might be desirable, but only after a woman has established herself as an independent financial entity.




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Stella Anton
The christian lifestyle that you propose MsBecker is perfectly good for the women who wish it and who find fullfillment in it. It is very naive of you to suggest that all people have the same personalities and fit in the same lifestyles -and if Ms Rosin suggested that too, she is similarly naive. There are men who don't like to "hook up" and women who truly enjoy it, and vice versa. Life values are also differrent for everyone. I for one don't want to have any children, not now at my 30's nor later. There are way too many things I want to do in my life and there's not enough time for them all it seems so I have to prioritize -but children I don't even want, not if I am through with all the hundreds exciting things I want to do. Do not imply that there's something wrong with me or my values -it's just me. I also find casual sex truly great and satisfying on many levels. I am not suggesting that everyone should or that everyone is mature enough for it -I for one as a teen were not. I became sexually active at the age of 15 due to awful peer pressure/trend, but I only understood what all the fuss was about at the age of 18 when I started really enjoying it and having orgasms -I had had them already as a 10-year-old masturbating, but with a partner it took 3 years. There's a different time for everyone, and people have different tastes. Not all people are christian either -and being not christian does not mean that a person cannot live a truly fullfilling life. Personally I find this fixation with financial success and must-do hypersexuality not my cup of tea, but the lifestyle that you suggest would make me equally miserable, or actually more. There's not ONE right path for everyone.
Norman Longo
she succumbs to a truncated and depleted view of humanity that esteems individual work as the highest goal and self-serving love as the highest love.
Elease Beale
she succumbs to a truncated and depleted view of humanity that esteems individual work as the highest goal and self-serving love as the highest love.
DAVE MERIWETHER
@Rachel - even one sparrow: thank-you for posting your comments; seeing SATC series dvd's make a resurgence since the movies have come out (go figure?), even in my own/extended family, I especially appreciate your perspective--your openness about your own 'buying into' the message without even realizing it until the harm was done, is very touching and hopefully instructive.
DAVE MERIWETHER
Great post/rebuttal of Rosin's sad article. I'm a little confused by the discussion of male/female aggression. Can we not reclaim the term 'assertiveness' as the positive form of "male aggression" women really are maligned for showing in the work place (assertive woman are seen as aggressive, less than aggressive men are often viewed as passive)? Don't we really want (to raise, to acclaim) men and women of integrity (in all areas of their lives) who can assert themselves confidently and powerfully without demeaning others or devaluing themselves or humanity through a hook-up culture of passivity vs aggression/power vs. control? If all we have left is competition in a Darwinian distopian survival of the fittest world, where we cannot learn the fine arts of dialogue, true compromise, and life-affirming relationships, how empty our lives are becoming. The differences in men and women are meant for beauty in diversity and complimentary intercourse that gives life (not just physically), not a battleground for our petty, egotistical tearing down or using of one another.
Oun Kwon
I have been wondering what it means by the word 'whore' as appears in the Bible. Confused with 'prostitutes' 'bad women' etc. Thanks for the article Now looking at what's going on the Western society, I have finally met them, they are our own children. There in a horror dream my own children appear on strip-shows and porno flix and youtubes. As the word 'impossible' absent in Napoleon's dictionary, some words are not there any more in the dictionary - 'fornication' 'adultery'. Instead there are tantalizing words 'casual sex' 'one night stand' 'anal sex' 'oral sex' 'teen sex' 'porno-stars' 'pedophile' 'gay marriage' 'Free pills from Uncle Sam! (might as well free condom and free blue pills for the limps like mine) in bold faces, with all the praises heaped on them. Now even the words 'father' and 'mother' are going to banned in France by a law, replaced by asexual or bisexual 'parent'. ( www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/9563543/France-set-to-ban-the-words-mother-and-father-from-official-documents.html )
Amber Currie
Amen! This culture not only leads to a distance from God, degradation of women, and low self-esteem, but it also leads to the millions of abortions happening world wide every year! www.180movie.com
Nancy Lee
Thanks for the link to Lisa Wade's article, Tamara! I found the Atlantic piece profoundly distressing as both a Christian and a feminist. I was glad to see Wade speaking some truths to an audience that likely doesn't have a Christian worldview. I serve in a ministry that reached out to women who work as exotic dancers, and I see these kinds of lies lived out all the time. When women first start working as dancers, they often feel a sense of power about making money by "using" the men customers. (Sometimes that feeling comes from a past abuse, and they feel a kind of temporary victory over their abuser.) Inevitably, though, the young women become more and more disgusted and bitter about the men who come in. Though they might not describe it this way, I think it's because they begin to feel the violation of their dignity when they are repeatedly treated as an object -- and importantly, when they see over and over the customers' willingness to debase *themselves* by treating the dancers as dehumanized objects of gratification. No one, men or women, wins in that kind of power/objectification/using dynamic. And it doesn't matter if it's women using men, or vice versa. No one can possibly win. It's an utter violation of the dignity of people created in the image of God.
Nancy Lee
Thanks for the link to Lisa Wade's article, Tamara! I found the Atlantic piece profoundly distressing as both a Christian and a feminist. I was glad to see Wade speaking some truths to an audience that likely doesn't have a Christian worldview. I serve in a ministry that reached out to women who work as exotic dancers, and I see these kinds of lies lived out all the time. When women first start working as dancers, they often feel a sense of power about making money by "using" the men customers. (Sometimes that feeling comes from a past abuse, and they feel a kind of temporary victory over their abuser.) Inevitably, though, the young women become more and more disgusted and bitter about the men who come in. Though they might not describe it this way, I think it's because they begin to feel the violation of their dignity when they are repeatedly treated as an object -- and importantly, when they see over and over the customers' willingness to debase *themselves* by treating the dancers as dehumanized objects of gratification. No one, men or women, wins in that kind of power/objectification/using dynamic. And it doesn't matter if it's women using men, or vice versa. No one can possibly win. It's an utter violation of the dignity of people created in the image of God.
alint
When the woman I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone to several casters and I got no results or insufficient ones. I found winexbackspell@gmail.com and gave another try to retrieve my lover and restore the passionate relationship I had with her. Im so glad I did and trusted him. He performed a spiritual cleansing to banish negative energies and cast a love spell. After 4days, the man I missed dearly started to call me and told me few days ago that she still loves me and wants to try again. Thank him for me.
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