Primetime Pregnancy: Why We Need Birthing Films
Candice, a regular Her.meneutics reader, wrote to me recently in response to this post, asking what I thought about women sharing their photos and videos of giving birth. Another Christian website had called this practice "immodest"; Candice, who is pregnant and planning a natural childbirth, told me that she has found these videos "inspiring and educational, since I've never seen an actual birth of any kind." She also wondered whether categorizing birth videos as "immodest" might be related to the ongoing discomfort in North America with public breastfeeding. Does Christian "modesty" really mean not viewing or posting pictures depicting these intimate events?
Birth videos show women accomplishing some of the hardest work women ever do. They show great pain resolving into great joy. They show us an event that many of us never see in "real life," an event that Hollywood can depict only in clichfamp;copy;s. In movies, labor begins suddenly, with a frantic cry of "it's time!" or an embarrassing gush of amniotic fluid. In reality, for many if not most women, labor is so gradual that it is only later that they can look back and say, "Oh, that's when it started." Usually there is no need for rushing around panicking; it's more a slow leak than a blowout. Also, doctors don't deliver babies from under a sheet anymore, not every woman screams, "you did this to me!" at her husband, and women don't need to be shouted at to "push." But crises make for better drama and, not infrequently, comedy.
Because birth is for most Americans an event that takes place in the hospital—and, increasingly, in the operating room—there are simply fewer opportunities for women to see other women give birth. By contrast, in early America, as in virtually all traditional cultures, to attend another woman's birth was expected and routine, more or less like attending a baby shower today. You would help your friend during her "lying in," knowing she would help you at yours, a phenomenon that historians and anthropologists have called "social childbirth." It's worth noting that that while, officially, only women who had already had a baby were included in social childbirth, homes and society were structured in such a way that it's unlikely a woman would go into labor without a strong understanding of the process of labor (if not the, ahem, crowning moment).
And so YouTube birth videos in some way are a gesture toward social childbirth in the age of social media. Many of the videos are mixed with sentimental songs and inspiring quotes, their obvious intent to motivate others hoping for a natural childbirth as well as to celebrate the beauty of birth. It's true that placing these private moments and sights on YouTube removes the traditional taboos (read: men) on who could view childbirth, and has a flattening effect by listing them alongside clips from Girls Gone Wild and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I wonder if they might not be shared more effectively if they were viewable by e-mail request only. But might they still have some value for women seeking understanding about birth—and seeking connection with other women who have birthed successfully?
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Margit Zaragoza
That unlikely move, from pain to glory, is beautiful and near-miraculous in a way that one understands only when one sees it.
Jacki Taggart
That unlikely move, from pain to glory, is beautiful and near-miraculous in a way that one understands only when one sees it.
Janna
If Penn has a doula-in-training type program for it's nursing *students*
Janna
@rachel-even one sparrow If you are in the Philly area you may want to see if UPenn's School of Nursing has a doula-in-training type program for it's nursing schools. Here in Baltimore Johns Hopkins SON has-or at least had when I was pregnant- a program where student nurses- usually ones interested in maternal-child health- were volunteer doula-like childbirth assistants. This is/was primarily to serve moms-to-be in the underserved areas of Baltimore but I was directed to their program when I was searching for a doula late in my pregnancy. I ended up hiring a doula, but was really impressed by the people I talked to at Hopkins. So, who knows- maybe Penn has a similar program? Worth looking into I'd say. Blessings to you- Janna
Kathy Voigtsberger
Allie, I am a doula and a Bradley Educator in Dallas, TX. I often give payment options or reduced rates for women who want a natural birth but cannot afford my regular fees. Please don't give up. Ask them for a reduced rate or look for doulas in training or Bradley Provisional educators. The Bradley Provisional educators are listed on www.bradleybirth.com. Look for a (P) in the list. Good luck. Kathy
Brenda Lownsberry
I think posting a video on Facebook, or any other social media, is not acceptable. Too many people can see it, who have no business viewing such an incredible and personal time in your life. I do, however, understand that you want to know what to expect when you're going to be giving birth in a few weeks. Do they not show a film in the LaMaze/pre-birthing classes any more? I remember thinking to myself, "There is no way my body is going to be able to do THAT." It did, of course! I also think publicly nursing your infant can be done with chastity; I've seen a lot of modesty blankets in use, and they are perfectly acceptable You do have to remember, there are a lot of creepers out there these days; the bulk of our population sees breasts only as "sex parts."
Nadine
My problem with birthing videos is that they are all of childbirths that went smoothly or where the women endured about as much pain and discomfort as when I run a 5k, and that totally set me up with unrealistic expectations. My labour was an absolute nightmare, the kind that no one wants a video of or wants to remember or that anyone would want to see. The way I acted and coped (or attempted to) with the pain was not a side I would want anyone to see.
MelissaT
@ rachel - even one sparrow I sympathize with your situation regarding not being able to hire a doula. I was in the same place, but I learned about Hypnobabies. It is a bit hokey, I'll admit. But the techniques they teach really helped me relax and prepare for my birth as well as keep peace of mind during labor and delivery. I sometimes added my own bits to the practice that encouraged me in my faith. I certainly recommend this course and hope you have a wonderful birth! http://astore.amazon.com/pregbirtandba-20/detail/B001I8E5TK
Tim
"Crowning moment" is one of the best puns I've seen delivered in a long time, Rachel. How did you ever conceive of it? Tim
Jim L
During our first pregnancy, my wife and I saw a birthing video. I suspect the makers of this film were trying to be comforting, because the women in this file ( they showed three births) barely broke a sweat delivering their children. My wife works harder painting her tonails than these ladies did. There were other moments leading up to and during that time, I won't bore you with them here. I pity the generations of men who were not there to hold their newborn during those first moments. It was the moment that adulthood had really arrived - moreso than college or medical school or the wedding itself. My little man was completely depending on me, and if my wife and I didn't provide, he was going to do without. The weight of responsibility felt appropriate and energizing, not burdensome. It was easily the most intense moment of my life. I doubt there is a film that can prepare an expecting father for that moment, but the moment needed no preparation.
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