Rihanna recently confirmed what most of her fans were expecting: Yes, she and ex-boyfriend Chris Brown are back together. Last night, they sat together at the Grammy's.
While celebrity couples frequently make headlines, Rihanna and Brown have garnered special attention due to their rocky past. On the night of the 2009 Grammy's, Brown was arrested for assaulting Rihanna in a domestic dispute, and soon after the altercation, photos emerged of the beautiful star's face mangled by cuts and bruises.
In the years since, Rihanna has been candid about her feelings for Brown and revealed that they were together again in a Rolling Stone article aptly titled "Crazy in Love." Knowing the rest of us are wondering how she could re-enter a relationship with a man who beat her, Rihanna offered up this defense: "Even if it's a mistake, it's my mistake…I'd rather just live my truth."
My truth. This term is really making the rounds these days. In addition to being the title of a three-part reality special about Nicki Minaj, it has become a common feature of celebrity philosophizing. In her 2005 reality show Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, Britney Spears declared, "People can take everything away from you, but they can't take away your truth…Can you handle my truth?'' Last year, amidst the swirl of Charlie Sheen's departure from Two and a Half Men, Sheen told one interviewer, "All I can do is speak my truth." And more recently, actress Dakota Fanning described her latest character's coming of age journey as "finding her truth."
This credo was even satirized in the comedy Couples Retreat. Vince Vaughn's character, Dave, falsely believes that he was nearly killed in a shark attack. When his wife disagrees with his interpretation of the events, he retorts, "I know my truth!"
The scene in Couples Retreat is a great commentary on the substance of the phrase, as it portrays the frequent disconnect between personal truth and actual truth. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Dave believed he had nearly died. It was "his truth." Likewise, Rihanna threw caution and domestic abuse statistics to the wind in favor of "her truth." Spears's "truth" led her to marry a man who had just abandoned the mother of his children. And Sheen's truth seemed to differ from that of every other person he worked with.
The relativist philosophy driving these "truth" statements is a staple of our culture's belief system. In fact, it is even present in churches. Among Christians the "my truth" mantra tends toward a more spiritualized form, repackaged as "God told me" or "I know this is what God wants for me." At times, these statements are true, but when wielded in opposition to Scriptural teaching or community counsel, they reveal the same individualistic core as the celebrity sound bites.
No matter the form, whether it is "my truth" or "God wants this for me," both phrases contribute to a dangerous self-deception that is rooted in two mistaken views of humanity.
They represent a flawed understanding of human uniqueness.
On the subject of human uniqueness, Scripture presents us with an interesting tension. On the one hand, we are diverse. Each person is created to serve the larger whole in a unique way (1 Cor. 12). This diversity not only ensures our interdependence upon one another, but also reflects the infinite God we serve.
On the other hand, we humans have a lot in common: we all bear the image of God, we all have the same fallen nature, and we all need reconciliation with God through Christ. Our commonalities are further evidenced by the universal authority of Scripture. The Bible, in its entirety, applies to each person's life, in his or her entirety.
Proverbs 7 reminds us of the limitations of claiming our individual exceptionalism. In this passage, a young man visits a prostitute, believing his special circumstances will spare him the consequences of his sin, but Solomon sees things differently. In verses 26-27 he warns the young man that his unique path is instead a highway of the many: "Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng."
Similarly, the unique path of the individual who follows "her truth" is not unique at all. Like the many fools who went before her, her path is a highway to folly.
They underestimate the depravity of the human soul.
Jeremiah 17:9 warns, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" These are strong words, and they are affirmed elsewhere in Scripture. Although the Holy Spirit restores our mental and spiritual capacities, thereby allowing us to discern truth, we only see "through a glass darkly" (1 Cor. 13:12).
Our depravity is real, it is dark, and it is deadly. For this reason, we desperately need God's Word and God's Church. Both forms of accountability prevent us from following our hearts in error. Without them, we are vulnerable to all sorts of self-deception and false truths.
Rihanna and Brown's situation is certainly complicated by the presence of abuse. Victims of domestic violence face a complex gauntlet of psychological obstacles, and it is not helpful to pave over them with simplistic theological truisms.
That said, the doctrine of human depravity entails a universal susceptibility to the "my truth" lie. None of us is stronger or smarter than Rihanna, Britney Spears, or any other adherent to the "my truth" mantra. Each of us is just as likely to self-deceive. That is why the pursuit of truth begins with humility. Until we acknowledge the personal truths that have supplanted God's truth in our lives, we too will join the throngs of foolish journeying toward folly.

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S Griffin
Great comment Steve Skeete but Bobby Brown did not get Whitney involved with drugs, her own brother did which he recently admitted to. My issue is why is so much attention being paid to Rihanna and Chris, is it just because they are celebrities. We don't give this much attention to everyday folks involved in domestic violence situations. If that's where Rihanna wants to be, let her be there, you can't force her to leave him. When she gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, she will make a change, hopefully. Until then, pray for them and keep it moving.
Steve Skeete
Stop pretending you don't know why supposedly bright, intelligent, wealthy not to mention beautiful young women fall for 'bad boys' like Chris? If you really don't know ask Whitney why she allowed another 'bad, bad, Bobby Browne' to take her on board a speeding train named addiction headed for a major crash. 'My truth' is what keeps the tongues wagging. It sells magazine with your face on the cover, and gets you another opportunity to talk to Oprah. Thousands of periodicals are dedicated to 'My truth'; without it where would 'good girls gone bad be? I bet she is laughing! All the way to the Grammy Awards, and all the way to the bank. The beautiful princess falls for the ugly troll, whom she hopes will one day become a prince. Yeah, right! It's all an act ladies, it's called show-business.
Steph MacDonald
Christians should read Total Truth by Nancy Pearcey. And How Should We Then Live by Francis Schaeffer.
Doug Knox
While the comments regarding variants of biblical truth are accurate, the point that human beings continue to relativize truth is secondary. More importantly, Sharon has documented a manner of thinking in our postmodern culture while it is taking place. Insights as timely as this are rare. Thank you, Sharon, for an excellent post.
Kathleen Mch
"My truth" is no different from "God told me to (fill in the blank)" or "God wants me to (fill in the blank)." It does, however, seem to be more honest, since it doesn't try to whitewash personal delusions as endorsed by some deity.
Jim Ricker
"My truth" is just a shorter version of, "doing what is right in my own eyes."
Rachel Stephan Simko
Reinterpreting the Bible or God as "my truth" is just another way of proof-texting and being comfortable with your sin. My brother once said, "If you're comfortable with the Bible, then you are reading it right." (evenonesparrow.blogspot.com)
MICHAEL H CONSTANTINE
It seems that "my truth" is just a more current expression of the ever popular, yet deadly, "My way."
Tim Fall
Sharon, it seems that when people claim "my truth" what they're really saying is "my reality". And of course that makes no sense, unless the person is a diehard existentialist. But even then it's nonsense. God's the only one who can say "I am" without reference to anyone or anything else. The rest of us and the reality in which we live is always in reference to God. Some people just don't know it yet. Cheers, Tim (timfall.wordpress.com) P.S. Grady, that was Rhiannon, not Rihanna. I saw Fleetwood Mac perform it at the Cow Palace better than 30 years ago. Great concert.
Grady Walton
My truth is this: Rihanna who? The last time I devoutly followed popular music, “Rihanna” was a title song by Fleetwood Mac. (But why let my shortcomings in knowledge of current pop music dissuade me from weighing in on the subject.) Seriously though, this is a very well-written and studious article. But at the risk of sounding critical, the church is no stranger to relativist “my truth” philosophy. Consider these statements: Contemporary worship music is my truth. Old hymns are my truth. Liturgical worship is my truth. Topical charismatic worship is my truth. Speaking in tongues is my truth. The Bible has replaced the work of the Holy Spirit is my truth. The King James Version is my truth. The New Living Translation is my truth. The Lutheran denomination is my truth. Non-denominational church is my truth. Infant baptism is my truth. Infant dedication is my truth. And so on. Of course, I understand that some of these “truths” are matters of style, not truth. But some are indeed matters of truth and falsehood within the faith of Christianity. I am conflicted on this issue. On one hand I love that Christians have a tremendous variety to choose from in the development and expression of our faith, on the other hand I wonder if we don’t cater too much to individualism. Ultimately, those who seek truth must be willing to find truth no matter what it looks like, not how they want it to be.
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