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The Westboro Baptist in All of Us
Funny, how in thinking we're doing much good, we can, in fact, be guilty of much evil, of unleashing harm on those around us. That's what 27-year-old Megan Phelps-Roper is learning. Megan is the granddaughter of Fred Phelps, the founding pastor of Westboro Baptist Church.
In a recent interview, Megan dropped a bombshell: She and her sister, Grace, left Westboro. To defect from the church means that her relatives will cut all ties with her (since the congregation consists of nearly all family members). It means saying goodbye to the only life she has ever known. It means having family damn her to hell. It's a terrifying experience.
Prior to leaving her hate-mongering church, Megan was on her way to assuming the mantle of leadership. She launched the church into the world of social media, increasing Westboro's notoriety while spreading its hate. Even so, she couldn't retreat from her doubts. Jeff Chu reports that in December 2012, Megan went to the library in Lawrence, Kansas, and began combing through books on philosophy and religion. As she read, "it struck her that people had devoted their entire lives to studying these questions of how to live and what is right and wrong. 'The idea that only (Westboro) had the right answer seemed crazy,' she says. 'It just seemed impossible.'"
Megan came to terms with the idea that maybe, just maybe, Westboro might be wrong. Not long after her visit to the library, she and Grace left home. Megan doesn't know where she's headed in her conversion away from hate to love, but one thing she does know is that she can never go home again. And by "home" I'm referring not only to a house on a particular street, but to the way things were. Her home is now inhospitable to who she is becoming. She and Grace are now outsiders searching for a new place to call "home."
It's easy to distance ourselves from Westboro Baptist Church. They're extremists with monstrous practices that flow from a twisted theology of a deceived people. We're not extremists. We'd never dream of protesting the funerals of American soldiers or even conceive of picketing the funerals of Sandy Hook Elementary victims in the name of God while smugly declaring via Twitter that "God sent the shooter." We'd never indoctrinate our children as they have and call it nurture. Between most of us and those at Westboro Baptist Church, there's a great gulf fixed.
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Comments
Sandra Duffy
Karen I'm aware that suicide and homelessness among young gay males is an epidemic in the US and yes it seems that their treatment at the hands of Evangelical communities is a primary cause. Atheists too often express fear of 'coming out' in communities where organised religion is a dominant force and many suffer greatly if they do. And as described by Tim even a loosening of ties with a specific church can be an abusive experience when that church has taken cult like control of it's community. With regard to the Phelps at least three of the Phelps children broke away from that family before. Nathan Phelps (son of Fred Phelps) has written about his awful childhood in that family and the impact it's had on him over many years. I hope these grandchildren can get some support from the aunt and uncles that had the bravery and insight to leave decades before them.
Jim Ricker
Christians are just as dumb as the rest of the population and groups within that population. We all have our favorite sins to hate and like everyone else, it usually doesn't come from a proper grounding in truth. We should be more humble and remember that no matter the sin, the sin can be forgiven.Homosexuality is not the great sin and for my leftist friends, being a conservative is no more a sin than being a liberal. We just like to pick our own pet sins and pretend others are worse than us.
Ed mac
This is what cults do when someone leaves there gathering. It sounds like some of the things they do are cultic in nature. I know Jesus would forgive even them.
Nancy Lee
This was a fantastic piece. I hope we're all willing to look deeply and see who's on our own "lists" of those whose sins are somehow worse than our own . . . Much humility is necessary to do that, but Christ-like love requires it. God, forgive us for the people we've harmed.
Tim Fall
Marlena, this same phenomenon happens repeatedly with a large church in my town. Everything looks fine until a member wants to leave. Whether it's to attend another church or to stop attending one at all, the home church shuns them. No kidding, shun. Hundreds of people immediately consider that person no longer part of their acquaintance. Everyone I know who has come out of that church has been treated that way, and every one of them has suffered emotionally and relationally and some of them even with physical ailments. I think Megan and Grace would be wise to seek Christian counseling, someone who is experienced in former cult members reentering society; I hope they already are. Blessings, Tim (timfall.wordpress.com)
Kathi Vande Guchte
Karen Smith, there's always something Christians will jump on and rip apart - your not the only group.
Robert Yount
Marlena, well done, well said, Thank You!
Cheryl Okimoto
Marlena, thank you for this very thoughtful post! Grace AND Truth. Truth AND Grace. We must have both to follow Christ for that is what he came to bring us (John 1:14, 17). Grace and truth go beyond the Law, are higher than the Law, but do not abolish the Law (Matthew 5:17). The Law teaches us what sin is, but if enforced without grace it has lost its truth (Romans 7). But grace given without truth will not lead to eternal life (John 3:16-21). There is a balance between grace and truth that is impossible for mere mortals; it is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that the balance becomes possible. We all must pray daily to keep God the center focus of our lives lest we fall into one extreme or the other.
Karen Smith
I can't help but note the similarity between what Megan is experiencing and what many gay children of evangelicals experience. (Yes, in my experience it's primarily children of evangelicals (and Muslims): Mainline parents aren't as worried, Catholic parents tend to be condemning of the lifestyle and loving of the child, but Evangelicals lean more heavily to casting out their children. At least in my experience; the plural of data is not anecdote, so I may just be seeing selection bias..) ---- As for driving us (LGBT people) away, yeah that's happened. I've been attacked in LGBT circles for identifying as a Christian (I'm no quieter about that than I am about being gay), with the most disturbing reason being that for some people it's a trigger due to abuse received at the hands of those that believe they are doing God's Will.
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