Several months into graduate school at my secular university, a classmate startled me with a gutsy question: "Is it hard to talk about Jesus in class?"
With flushing cheeks that proved my answer, I told her and our colleagues, "Yes, I suppose it is."
The group responded with a wave of support. "I can't believe you feel that way! We want you to be honest about what you believe."
You want me to what?
Perhaps, being anthropology students, they wanted to study me as a rare cultural specimen.
Still, I'll take it.
A dozen years ago, when I was an undergrad student, the group of Christians I knew seemed to think that all non-Christians, particularly those in academia, were out to bash our skulls and souls in.
It wasn't completely without reason. A handful of our professors were equally engaged in warlike rhetoric. I heard of one professor who argued that believing in absolute truth means believing in divisions, and divisions lead to violence and war. Therefore, he reasoned, the foolish Christians and their Truth with a capital T are responsible for all the divisions and wars on earth.
The flawed assumption, from both the Christians and the non-Christians, is this: They say that to disagree is to hate.
Jesus told his disciples, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first . . . You do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you" (John 15:18–19).
I have heard that verse interpreted like this: "If people aren't hating you, you're not following God enough. Get in their face with your beliefs. By their hatred you'll know you're talking about Jesus enough."
Now certainly this is a tricky verse. There is a time and place to stop caring whether people might hate you and come out with what you believe, and sometimes Christians will indeed be hated. But that's not the whole story.
Some will respond with ambivalence
I believe the tide is shifting, at least in the academic corner of the world, toward an environment where people feel safe talking about controversial and personal issues.
I know some Christians hear that and think, "But everybody's just so permissive, and nobody's taking a stand. That's just the problem. We can't even argue about God anymore because everybody says everything is okay."
But the ambivalence of today isn't new. When Jesus told a wealthy man to give up all he had and follow him, the wealthy man went away sad, but as far as we know he neither obeyed nor became actively hateful. Many others who heard Jesus never seemed to jump wholeheartedly either onto the love-Christ or hate-Christ bandwagon.
Humans will be indecisive. That doesn't mean you need to hammer them over the head with another gospel tract. It likely means they're considering. That's cool.
Some people will love you
When Daniel went off to the University of Babylon to train for a PhD in Wiseman Advisorship, he received top honors. The Bible says the Lord caused people to show favor to Daniel (1:9). Kings found themselves praising The God of Daniel.
God also brought public favor to Joseph as a slave, a prisoner, and a leader of Egypt. And to Jesus and many early Christians. Often enemies of Christians could do nothing "because all the people were praising God for what had happened" (Acts 4:21).
My husband and I recently gave away copies of our coauthored book. One winner surprised us with this review:
I have nothing in common with the authors. They are Christian and, well, I am not. This book was not preachy, stifling, or alienating. It offers practical, honest, and relatable stories and advice [and] has joined the ranks of my "Actually Helpful Spiritual Guides" shelf.
I've heard it hinted from so many Christians that "people think we're nut jobs," that I forget not everyone does.
Some people will hate, some of the time
Christians are called not to hate anyone, ever.
Sure, plenty of people disagreed with Jesus. Plenty will disagree with you with big, deep hatred.
Daniel, Joseph, and the early Christians all had times of rejection. Daniel got thrown in a lion's den for praying. Joseph got sent to prison for not sleeping with his master's wife. And most apostles in Acts eventually got martyred.
The trick is this: They didn't hate back.
Our hating back happens in subtle ways. Sarcastic comments about the stupidity of our classmates. An expectation that nobody is ever going to believe us (they're all too stubbornly wrong). We act like being Christian means defending our beliefs with fully automatic weapons. Be ready. Shoot big bullets liberally. And if you're not firing, you're too shy.
We have to be clear about what we believe, and the Bible does call truth a weapon. The gospel is called an offense and stumbling block, and thus we have to expect that some will reject it, and us. But we also have to speak truth fully expecting that some people will agree with it. Truth isn't a pedestal we stand on to set ourselves apart. And we can't go throwing truth in anybody's face like a grenade.
Jesus demonstrated how to perfectly live that sometimes-hated but not-hating-back line. He fielded hateful questions all his adult life from people who eventually would execute him, but he never responded with hatred. He said what he said, said it well, and if they didn't believe, he didn't punch their navels in.
Try it: Expect people to respond positively to your beliefs. When one non-Christian friend finished reading my book recently, she told me with deep sensitivity, "It raised a lot of different feelings in me, and I wasn't expecting that. But I liked that."
She liked that. And I like that, too.
Christine and her husband, Adam, recently co-authored This Ordinary Adventure: Settling Down Without Settling, about following Jesus in North America with a global perspective. Christine (Facebook, Twitter) teaches for Eastern University, speaks nationally, and is pursuing a Ph.D. in cultural anthropology at the University of Wisconsin. She also authored Into the Mud: Inspiration for Everyday Activists and blogs at Into the Mud and Patheos.
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Comments
Jim Ricker
There will always be people who think that others who believe something different from he or she believes is a nutjob. Of course, there are far too many Christians who are nutjobs and I consider myself a Jesus Freak! Most nutjobs (I should define what a nutjob is in my own opinion - someone who seeks to press a cause, case, faith or viewpoint to the point of being ignorant of the time, situation and/or audience) are well-intentioned (like "Well-Intentioned Dragons [Marshall Shelly]) but are offensive due to the incorrect approach and/or attitude and are NOT considered as nutjobs because of their zeal. St. Paul was zealous as a Pharisee and as a disciple of Jesus but we can see that the zealousness was not what the issue was - it was his heart.
Beth Melillo
What a timely read, I had this very experience this week with fellow grad students. I find the moment I begin assuming that every conversation should lead to a "conversion" is the moment that I get tripped up and start fighting or arguing, rather than explaining in the best terms I can. Instead I want to present what I think Christianity is, truthfully, accurately, lovingly - even if it's controversial (eg: absolute truths). Like another commenter said, these can be hyper-intellectual/ accepting times where we start out already automatically analyzing religions, comparing and contrasting their merits. Although I enjoy this type of scholarly intellectualizing, I find that in general it does ignore the profound emotional experiences that Christianity provides as well, and the "heart" aspect of things. Thanks for posting. Beth (allgrowingup.wordpress.com)
JANE HINRICHS
There's a balance in all this. I think we gotta quit worrying what others may or may not think about us and just share what God calls us to share. IF we do it in love and respect for our listeners we will treat them and ourselves with dignity. And then we leave the results to God.
Tim Fall
Nice Job, Christine. You reminded me of a first-date I went on almost thirty years ago. At one point early in the evening the young woman, a non-Christian, asked "So what's important to you, Tim?" "This is going to get metaphysical", I warned. "Go ahead," she said. So I did. Quite a 1 Peter 3:15 moment. Lots of folks are actually interested in what others think and believe and value, even when those others are us Christians. Cheers, Tim (timfall.wordpress.com)
Don White
This is the good and bad of postmodernism. They'll question "absolute truth," yet be more willing to hear my faith experiences without feeling threatened. They may be patronizing and skeptical, or lump Christianity with Norse mythology or UFO abductions, but still be willing to listen. We're now living in ancient Athens. The same radical open-mindedness that gathered a menagerie of idols about them also gave Paul permission to talk about their "Unknown God." Don White (www.ouramericanfaith.com)
Karen Smith
I love this article! To answer the question about "nut job" - I would consider someone a "nut job" when they decide that it is their way or the high way, whether you believe the same as them or not. I don't mind people disagreeing with me; I don't even mind (much) when I'm told people are worried that I'm on my way to hell (because while I disagree, I'm at least glad they are peacefully and politely showing their belief). What I do object to is their using force (physically or via government) to compel me to follow their own beliefs without reasonable (secular) cause. I don't mind people standing on the corner preaching the Word; I've been known to listen to them for 10-15 minutes. What I do object to is preaching hate and destruction under the guise of Christ. - And, of course, I tend to get static from all sides. I'm out in the LGBT community as a Christian, and I'm out as a Christian as a LGBT person. (Note: I love that CT uses gender in their records, not sex.)
Nathan Garmatz
Excuse my extended post. One of the most interesting (and amusing) questions the other player asked me was challenging my faith. Allow me to paraphrase, "If you believe in God and that He is all powerful and involved in everything, then do you believe He controls every time you kill a zombie (in this video game)?" Seems funny, but I had to think for a minute. If it was up to me I might have tossed out the verse about "hairs on your head". But it felt like it would just reinforce his "nut job" view and end his deliberations. In the end I said something like that might fall more into "free will". He asked a number of questions: did I hate gays?, why wasn't I more preachy? why are Christians so pushy about it? These are fair questions. I personally do not hate gays, but lots of Christians do. I told him the only real way to judge Christianity is by Christ, because men, even men of faith will make mistakes. As far as pushy, I said if you love someone, you try to save them.
Nathan Garmatz
I believe I agree with the spirit of your argument, which I take to be more about overcoming the fear of sharing Christ with non-believers. I would take it a step further and suggest that if you approach these interactions with a humble and patient heart that the Holy Spirit will help you with the words. I sometimes play video games. Recently while blowing up zombies in a game with other people another player mentioned something about Christians. He was rather a racy character in his dialogue and personality. I mentioned that I was a Christian. He was somewhat shocked, perhaps because I too can be a little racy with my language. It led to a number of questions I was not prepared for and he clearly had a blanket "nut job" view of Christians, but it opened a dialogue and it helped me learn a bit about where I stood as a Christian as well. My best explanation to most of his questions was to point him to Jesus. Even if you view Him only historically, it is hard not to respect Him.
Vic Christian
Mr Bobo - it might be interesting as to what both you and the writer of this article consider a "not job". Is it one who is against sin? Is it one who publicly takes a stand, say against the murder of small children (both unborn and post birth)? Is it a right-wing republican? Is it a person who stands for the U.S. Constitution? Is it a pro-gun advocate? It it a "voice crying in the wilderness? It it a well-to do American who shares his excess money with the poor? I really would like to know, and to engage in a meaningful conversation regarding this. If God wants me to do it - I will try to do it! Please feel free to contact me at vicndonna@bluemarble.net. Thanks
Bob Bobo
Bood article. However, i'm not sure what your trying to say from the titel of this piece. I approeciate your encourageing christians to share and trust the hearer will not think your a "nut job". I apreciate your guidance to the believer to share respectfully. But, in my experience. As I talk to non-believers, I often spend the first few encounters explaiing that I am not there perspective of a "christian". Many of their views comes from two sources. TV, and their uncle, who bangs them over their heads with the bible. I have to explain to them that: not all christians are right wing republicans. No, money is not the main crux of being a christian. No, we don't all beleive everbody gets healed of every decease. No, not all christians sin big time and change the rules making it ok for them to do so. After awhile I can get around to talking about Jesus rather thier experience with the above. Truth is, we have "nut jobs".
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