8. Repeat the video. Repetition is part of learning, both with reading books and "reading" media. The more a child views a video, the more she understands the story and anticipates a character's actions. If after multiple viewings, she's still not tracking, that's an indication the video might be too frenetic or age inappropriate.
9. Equip your child: You can't control every situation, so help your child self-regulate when she's at a friend's house. Use language she can understand. "If the video makes you feel yucky, call mom and I'll pick you up." Or, "If the video feels too fast, tell the babysitter." Equip her with decision-making power. Even if the process takes years, it will pay dividends in the long run.
In Christian culture, we talk a lot about the negative impact of electronic media and not a lot about the positive impact. But when we raise media-wise kids, we're giving them lifelong tools. This sense of media savvy, along with an appreciation of visual storytelling and a cultivated imagination, will help build sound judgment for them in school and beyond.
Most of our kids over the course of their lives will consume plenty of visual media, much of it when we're not around. So while they're still at home—sitting at the picnic table rolling their eyes at us—all we can do is keep the conversation going and hope that they'll grow up to engage media with maturity and discernment.
Andrea Palpant Dilley's recent memoir, Faith and Other Flat Tires: Searching for God on the Rough Road of Doubt (Zondervan), tells the story of her departure from church and her eventual return. She lives with her husband and daughter in Austin, Texas. For more information, visit www.andreapalpantdilley.com.
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Comments
Daved Kuntz
As a whole, I think this article is good and rings true, but it runs into the danger of encouraging legalism. I was the oldest of six children and we only watched PBS, and only shows that didn't include magic were allowed. At one point, my mother also didn't approve of other shows because they were too "fast paced" - she didn't like Bill Nye the Science Guy not because of its secular evolutionism, but because it went from one thing to another too quickly. To outright ban a child from watching a television show simply because you think it is too complicated is patronizing at best and manipulative at worst.
Jim Ricker
PLease excuse me if I sound haughty but....are people really confused by what kids need when it comes to media? That is difficult to believe to be blunt. This is akin to most parents saying they don't know how to talk to their kids about drugs - it is a lie. Everyone knows it is not healthy to let your kids watch all these things and most being not watched by the parents either before or during.
Nancy Lee
We checked out a DVD from the library of "The Secret Garden" -- it was produced in 1975 by BBC. Boy, is it ever SLOW . . . lots of long, unedited shots, and it's broken into 7 30-min. episodes. It is perfect for my 6-year-old daughter! She can follow the story because we read it together first, and she is having a ball watching the book come to life. This is the perfect example of something age-appropriate (they did change some of the book's dated language about Indian people, thank heaven!). As I read your article, I was thinking "That's why this DVD is so good for her!"
Andrea Dilley
Karen, Thanks for your thoughts on the piece. I appreciate it. From my perspective, these suggestions regarding media management are not meant to be substitutions for healthy, interactive learning, as per my first comment (see #1). Games and legos and those kinds of activities are best for learning. I agree. But a modest dose of visual art--in the form of media--can be acceptable and actually healthy for a child. Moderating the amount (very little), the quality of content, and the quality of form (with a slow cut rate, as per #2) is key. By learning how to appropriately "read" media at a young age--in modest amounts--I hope my child develops an appreciation for visual media art, such as film. Thanks for engaging the article, Karen! All the best to you and your kids. Andrea
Karen Smith
I know it's foreign to the experience of many - but why not give them some decent games to play? Oh, if I had kids I wouldn't give them anything of a maturity level I didn't find acceptable for them - but give them GAMES. Let them expand their mind with imagination in a fantastic world like the ones in Zelda, and let them learn problem-solving while doing it. Give them TOYS - Legos, especially, are good toys for almost all ages (even if they need to be Duplo). Don't sit them in front of a television watching a static video - give them something that lets them make choices, and they will learn much faster and better. Give them dancing games, let them exercise a bit after clearing enough space. Make it INTERACTIVE. Just avoid online games, at least for the young kids.
Rachel Stephan Simko
I agree completely. I've found that "educational" doesn't mean much. I mean, Sesame Street is supposedly educational, right? But how can any kid focus on what's going on? They bounce around SO quickly (talk about frenetic!). I still let my daughter watch Elmo from time to time, but only on rare occasions (to be honest, I have a soft spot in my heart for Jim Henson, which is why I haven't done away with SS for good). One show I've been pleased with is Blue's Clues. Every show has the same format, the same songs, and teaches concrete things. And a big bonus -- it's on Netflix, so no commercials! I think that raising kids with a good relationship to media means YOU have to have a good (read: HEALTHY) relationship to media. We do a lot of reading in our house -- both in front of and with our daughter -- and that's the environment I grew up around. rachel (evenonesparrow.blogspot.com)
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