ashraful kadir / FlickrCan You Teach Modesty Without Body-Shaming?

Auditing America's Political Integrity

It seems like we can't stop talking about modesty lately. From the Super Bowl to the Grammys, Brooklyn storefronts to Christians' closets, we're fixated on what women are wearing… or not wearing. Amid all the chatter and clatter, what's a modesty-minded Christian woman to take away from all this discourse?
Enter Dannah Gresh and Secret Keeper Girl, a website designed for Christian tweens. A Secret Keeper Girl, she says, "values modesty, she surrounds herself with wise friends and she embraces Godly beauty. So, she keeps the deepest secrets of her beauty for just one man." So far, so good. But as I clicked my way around the playful pink-and-orange flower-filled website, I started to feel decidedly uncomfortable. Something, that I couldn't quite put my finger on, felt off.
Much of what is offered on the Secret Keeper Girl site I found worthwhile and helpful; I applaud any attempt to encourage clothing retailers to offer age-appropriate choices for young girls, as the Secret Keeper Girls do, and I also applaud anyone, anywhere who speaks out against fashion magazines and their objectification of women and their bodies. Dannah Gresh's short devotional on self-talk is wonderful:
It's almost a popular thing for girls and women to say really terrible things about themselves…but here's the cold, hard truth about negative selftalk: When God created you, he said, 'Very good. Exactly as I need her to be.' When you say degrading things about yourself, you're telling God it wasn't 'very good' when he created you. If you say something negative about yourself long enough, you'll eventually believe the words you're saying, and that's how you'll live. Isn't that sad to think about?
That's a powerful message.
But beyond that, the Secret Keeper Girls and I start to part ways. When I clicked on the "Truth or Bare" link—sparkling flowers trailing my cursor all the way—this is what I read:
Stand up straight and pretend you are going for it in worship, and extend your arms in the air to God. Is this exposing a lot of belly? Bellies are very intoxicating, and we need to save that for our husband!
Bellies are very intoxicating? On 8-year-olds? Yes, they are, secular media would say...and apparently, Gresh would agree. The website then goes on to suggest how to tell if your shorts are too short, your shirts are too low, or your tops are too tight:




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audrey ruth
RE: the topic question here: "Can You Teach Modesty Without Body-Shaming?" The answer is YES. Absolutely. Jesus said the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth and will lead His people into all truth. The wisdom of God leads us by grace to fulfill His Word with joy and peace.
audrey ruth
Michael, you twist Scripture unmercifully. There is no Scriptural evidence for what you believe about nudity -- rather, just the opposite. The Scriptures I've cited or referenced have made it clear that, from the time Adam and Eve disobeyed the Lord and sin/death entered the world, He Himself clothed them, and this is the norm from then on. Bottom line: You cannot find ONE verse of Scripture which even suggests nudity for anyone except husbands and wives in private.
audrey ruth
Janet, Scripture admonishes men not to lust AND admonishes women not to willingly be the objects of lust. Proverbs 7 is one example of both. The woman in Proverbs 7 is NOT a prostitute -- her husband is away on business and she wants to "play". The young man is not the seducer. This is not to excuse his response; it's just to bring clarity here. Sad to say, there are indeed professing Christian women who do this. Some end up leaving husbands (and children) for "greener pastures" or instigate a marriage break-up with infidelity, etc.
JANET W
Proverbs 7 is a warning for men against the adulterous woman. It doesn’t direct itself to women at all (as in, it doesn’t tell women not to be adulterous or prostitutes). Though, I suppose if one wanted to apply it to a woman, it would be directing her to avoid the adulterous man. As the vast majority of Christian women are not prostitutes, I don’t think Proverbs 7 speaks to them unless they are be swayed to commit adultery with a tempting male. (I’m serious, here. A good litmus test to see if a woman is, in fact, dressed like a prostitute, would be to ask a man if he thinks it would be appropriate to offer her money for sex – if he thinks she’d be offended by the offer, then she’s not dressed like a prostitute – and you can disregard applying Proverbs 7 to her).
Michael Trowbridge
We are to conquer and overcome sin, not hide in terror as if God provides us no self-control. If Janet, or any other beautiful woman, aides men to praise God for her amazing beauty controlled with humility, she is letting her life and light shine “No-one would light a lamp and out it under a clay pot” (Matt 5:15) – unless you are living in fear that all men are savage rapists – as is the case in some Islamic nations. God commands all who wish to be sanctified to “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” Col 3:5. If a man wishes to put to death his earthly nature for sexual desires when seeing female flesh, how can he win this battle if Janet (for example) always wears a nun’s habit? Instead, I have conquered all lusts by seeing female beauty pure-mindedly, the way God intended. By putting to death my old man, I am an overcomer. God controls me. (Phil 4:8)
audrey ruth
Janet, Scripture admonishes men not to lust AND admonishes women not to willingly be the objects of lust. Proverbs 7 is one example of both.
audrey ruth
Michael, there is no Scriptural evidence for what you believe about nudity -- rather, just the opposite. The Scriptures I've cited or referenced have made it clear that, from the time Adam and Eve disobeyed the Lord and sin/death entered the world, He Himself clothed them, and this is the norm from then on.
Michael Trowbridge
Audrey, my position that naturist Christianity is a good and effective way to overcome sin and lust, is changeable through Scripture or reason. Nothing you’ve written Audrey, refutes my belief. Jesus being clothed in Rev 1 (and many other places too) only proves that He wasn’t always nude. I had only made the point that there is no Scripture that indicated that Jesus was clothed (while on earth before John’s vision of Jesus in Rev) after He was raised from death. There is Scriptural evidence that labourers in Jesus’ day and earlier worked in the nude. I believe the gardener, like fishermen and other manual laborers, usually worked naked so as not to harm their one set of clothing. Being naked, the women may well have not looked at Him closely until He spoke to them, and assumed from His lack of attire that He was a workman, the gardener. God created femininity (Eve) before the fall, so he did intend for unclothed feminine beauty to be appreciated by others, beyond the husband.
JANET W
Audrey, If Jesus first appeared to everyone as John described, I suspect that he would not have been mistaken for a gardener or a mere fellow traveler on the road (as described in two other accounts of sightings after the resurrection). I suspect that Jesus' attire varied depending on the circumstance. That is all beside the point, as I suspect that Michael is no more advocating nudity for everyone but merely commenting that Jesus could have exited the tomb naked. I think he could have but that it was unlikely that he did. I think that Michael is quite correct in stating that scripture admonishes men not to lust rather than admonishing women not to be the objects of lust. So, it would seem that the burden falls to the one with the potential of lusting rather than the object of that misplaced desire.
audrey ruth
Janet, if you read Michael's posts advocating nudism, including his belief that the risen Christ appeared to the disciples without clothes on, my posts will make sense. I cited Scriptures which refute his belief about that.
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